Prologue.

May I ask you a question? What defines the word beautiful?

Many of you may answer with something like, "something with a very high standard, or something that pleases both our senses and mind."

Let's say, the answer is Something with a very high standard. If that was the case, then let me speak for it first.

Expensive things always have higher standards than regular ones. People often classify expensive things as beautiful. Males would always stare at a female with rich make-ups and expensive dresses, but won't even look at a regular female the same way they did to the rich-dressed female. As for females, they'd often take a glance at a muscular man, and slightly smile thinking about some kind of fantasy or anything. But if there was an ugly boy around them, they won't even come near him and will always ignore him.

The famous painter Pablo Picasso's paintings are very expensive, aren't they? As for some expert painters, they would find his painting astonishing. But if you show a normal human his painting, without telling who the painter is, he'd simply make a face of disgust and say, "What a horrible painting." The reason I told you not to reveal the painter's name is because then he won't give you an honest opinion.

I am not offending anyone by saying all of this. These don't apply to everyone but a majority of people. Humans will always be attracted to things with higher standards. But, can you call it beautiful?

What about a boy who led a very rich life but unhappy life? Can you call his life beautiful? Just because he had a rich life?

The answer is obviously no.

This can't be the only thing that defines the word beautiful. At least I don't want to believe it does.

Now, let's suppose that the answer is something that pleases both our senses and mind.

Hmm, let's say that you went on a trip and stumbled across a mindblowing scenery of the countryside. A river was flowing beside a rice field, where several farmers were working, the golden rice plants were moving in a nice pattern because of the breeze. You could hear slight chirping of various types of birds, the trees gave away a greenish vibe which actually matched pretty well with the golden rice. You could also see some maidens working in the field chit-chatting and laughing frequently.

You would obviously say that it's a splendid scenery, which you can also call beautiful since it would give you a feeling of peace in your mind and senses. I've also seen such scenery in my life quite a few times. I must admit, it was beautiful.

But can everything that pleases our mind and sense be considered beautiful?

The answer is the same as before, no.

To make it clear, let's say you are watching your worst enemy getting burnt alive. Suppose, that enemy of yours killed your family. So it would obviously be satisfying to watch him burning alive because it pleases our mind and senses. If it doesn't, then you can consider yourself as some kind of mother Teresa.

In other people's perspective, it would look horrifying to watch someone burning alive, while screaming out their agony and pain. The fact that your eyes melt before you die would give you a slight idea of how painful this method of dying is.

Are little babies good at drawing? If you answer honestly then the answer would obviously be a big fat no. Still, if you show their artwork to anyone, they'd call it beautiful. If I ask why they are not being honest, then you all will call me a fool and answer almost the same thing.

They are simply fascinated by the fact that the baby was able to draw something. Once they learn the fact, if you show them the same quality drawing later, they will say "It's nice" but their reaction won't be as surprised as before.

I might be wrong, very wrong. I am just a stupid boy who thinks about stuff like this, and can't get anything right. I still don't know why I am writing this. But from my conclusion, I can say that the definition of the word beauty completely depends on somebody's interests, needs, and tastes.

If that was the case, then the people who said my life was beautiful were right and wrong at the same time. I've always asked myself if my life was beautiful or not. I can't even guess from which angle my life seemed beautiful. As for me, I've always hated my life and wanted it to end as soon as possible.

But that one part of mine told me to wait a bit more, something beautiful might happen in my life which would change my mind into thinking that my life is actually a lot more beautiful than I thought.

I am still waiting for that moment of my life, which would make me smile while thinking about my life on my deathbed.