13 Chapter 13

Judith took a few glances in her son's direction, but as Harry had already talked to the boy, she couldn't bring up the subject with Benjamin, unless Harry allowed it.

Harry was a husband who gave Judith a lot of freedom, in many ways that she knew went against the conventions among members of high society, like her making the decisions about who would be hired or not, for work in activities unrelated to the big house, like the stables, for example. However, whenever Harry decided on something, Judith never tried to contradict him or change his mind, as that was the agreement between the two of them.

Lunch passed in complete silence. Judith changed her mind about asking Benjamin to bring Jackeline dessert. She didn't want the girl to see Benjamin's condition. Judith was anxiously waiting for the meal to finally be over so she could walk up to Harry, with no ears around, and ask him what had happened.

The two boys finished eating and remained seated, not saying a word, waiting for their fathers' permission so they could leave. Richard and Harry finished, gave each other a nod and stood up, motioning for Benjamin and Paul to do the same.

"Go straight to your room and I don't want you to leave there until dinnertime, do you understand it?" Harry asked Benjamin, who just nodded and left. Richard looked at Paul and just nodded his head so that the boy understood that the warning given to Benjamin was valid for him, too.

Benjamin was standing in front of his own bedroom door. Paul pretended not to notice and walked right past Benjamin, not even glancing in the boy's direction. But before Paul could open the door to his own room, Benjamin spoke.

"If I see you around Louisa again, I won't mind whatever punishment my father inflicts on me."

"I like her and it's none of your business whether she's with me or not." Paul answered and opened the bedroom door. Benjamin strode over and put one foot between the door and the threshold, so Paul couldn't close the door.

"I am serious!"

"So am I!" Paul responded through gritted teeth. "You already have my sister, Benjamin. Do you think Louisa deserves this?"

Benjamin blinked a few times. Paul stared at him coldly.

"I'm just protecting a friend's honor." Benjamin said, feeling a lump in his throat as he uttered the word 'friend'.

Paul scoffed.

"I have no intention of harming Louisa's honor." Paul replied, still staring at Benjamin. And he wasn't lying. Although he had this intention when he saw her for the first time, Paul no longer saw Louisa as a simple conquest. "I'm better friends with her than you are, Benjamin Dankworth. You say you want to protect her, but you are practically engaged to a woman and continue to pursue Louisa, giving her hope. What do you intend? To deceive Louisa or to offer her the position of mistress?"

Benjamin tried to advance on Paul, but Paul held Benjamin by the collar.

"You are the only one who wants to deceive Louisa!" Benjamin was holding Paul's collar, too, and they were both facing close together.

"I intend to marry her, Benjamin. Once she's older, of course." Paul said and let go of Benjamin's collar, who had loosened his hands upon hearing Paul's statement.

"Your father would never allow it." Benjamin's voice came out weak.

"And that's the difference between you and me. I'm not going to say I don't like the luxurious life I have, Benjamin, but honestly, I wouldn't mind giving it up for someone worth it. Louisa is worth it. Well, at least for me." He looked condescendingly at Benjamin. "You just follow your father's orders, no discretion. You want to be seen as the role model good guy and responsible prodigy in the family."

"This is not true." Benjamin couldn't speak properly.

"Yes, it is, and you know it." Paul looked at Benjamin's foot, which was still preventing the door from being closed. "I advise you to remove your foot from there, or I may crush it, 'accidentally', as I close the door."

Benjamin gritted his teeth at the threat, but he didn't want to cause another fight. Paul closed the door immediately, but not too hard so as not to draw the attention of the other members of the house.

Paul threw himself on the bed, chest up, facing the ceiling. He had said all those things to Benjamin without thinking. Everything came out automatically. Did he really want to marry Louisa? He remembered the beach walk the two of them had had just this morning. Her hair glow in the sunlight, the sound of her laughter was like music to his ears, and the sparkle in her eyes as she talked about something that interested her was incredible. When he almost kissed her, Paul felt like he was about to achieve something wonderful in life, something he wanted more than anything, as he got closer to her. That feeling wasn't a simple nervousness because of a first kiss with a woman, after all, he hadn't felt like that even when he kissed the first woman in his life.

Yes, he would marry her, if she accepted him, of course. Louisa was the first woman to make Paul feel a tremendous heat in his chest at the thought of the word marriage, instead of a monstrous urge to roll his eyes and wrinkle his nose, as he always did. To imagine him coming home and her sitting in the living room, waiting for him to have tea together; holding her hand and leading her to the room they would share; kissing her face, her lips, and finally feeling her body against his. Paul was grinning like a fool and he knew Louisa was different. She was still young, but in two years she would be of a good marriageable age. The four years difference between him and her wasn't much.

But there was still the matter of his father. Richard Russell would not allow his son to marry a girl from a poor family. At least not as long as that son depended on him. And Paul had no intention of being at his father's mercy for the rest of his life. He was the second child, as his older brother George was studying in Belgium and would be back soon. He knew that the entire responsibility of the family legacy would fall on his brother's shoulders, but that didn't mean that great things weren't expected of Paul. But as a second child, a range of possibilities opened up for him. The alternative Paul saw was going to the army. He could ask his father to buy him a patent and that would be the last favor he would ask of the man.

Napoleon was wielding more and more power in Europe and the United Kingdom did not look favorably on this. Napoleon had already tried to attack England, however, by sea, and failed. Conflicts over land were relatively few. It was an excellent opportunity for Paul, for if he came back from a battle victorious, he would get a promotion, as well as the means to support himself. Himself and his wife, in this case, Louisa. And he wouldn't depend on his father for anything else, being able to make the decisions he saw fit.

Paul decided that while he couldn't be independent, he would try to behave himself, while still communicating with Louisa. He would speak to her as soon as night fell, to see if she would agree to communicate with him by letter and, of course, to check on the bruise on her face.