Anime

January 7, 2020

I wanted to cry so badly today, because I got my figurine's leg broken. It was Nico, my favorite Love Live!! idol. Fuck, I really can't fix it, because it's fixed in one. Even Mighty Bond can't handle it because of its weight. All of this was not the real reason why I wanna cry. The real reason is that after all of my shits going down for my life, there's still anime and TWICE, always there through my tough times.

When I was a child, I am an otaku and a NEET. I'm 24/7 on my laptop watching anime. As time passes by, I soon neglected this shits and move on to explore the real world. Yep, I made lots of friends, but they're not even there through my tough days. I can't tell my problems to them, because I don't wanna be a heavy load to them, because I know that they also have problems in their lives. So yeah, I carried all my problems until the very end. My break ups, failures, and disappointments in life: I handled it all. I don't depend on my friends, because in the end, they'll be the cause to make my problems worse.

So here I am, talking to past self, wondering if should I go back to the old Greg in which I don't stress myself, or should I move on and live a real life. As you get older, life is tough, man. I dunno if I should pursue this stupid cycle of life or not. I just wanna be free from never-ending stress and failures in myself. Why am I so dumb? Why am I writing this book? Why am I such a stupid idiot, waiting for nothing? Why do I always fucking believe that this book will be a success, if this book was made by a first-timer writer who knows nothing about the fundamentals of publishing a good book?

My Gregoritas, I dunno if I wanna pursue this book. If I became on hiatus for one week, maybe that's the time that I quit. I'll be binge watching Naruto again, because anime and video games are the only ones that resides with me. They're always there, and I don't even need a fucking feedback if they love me or not, because their presence already exists in my heart. Even though they are fictional and inanimate, they are still better than these plastic humans.

You can stop reading my book if you don't feel it anymore, I don't even care anymore. I just wanna keep writing and writing. If there's a spark of success, then fine, I'll accept it, but if there's none, then I'm good. Passion never runs out of my blood. Give me something to edit for one day; I'll do it. Even though I get no rest, I'm still happy, because it's my passion.

So my fellow Gregoritas, you know my only goal is to reach 500 words per day coz I don't have enough time, so here ya go. Good night. See you tomorrow if I'm still able.