I'M FREE??

"I don't know what kind of hell she has been through but whatever it is, that shit has ruined her mental health. Putting her back in the cell isn't quite the right solution, because if you do the next time she walks into those doors she'll be as good as dead."

I could tap some distinctive chatters from where my ward was situated, conversations going back and forth about whether I was fit to be in a mental institution or jail. At that moment there wasn't a surprise I didn't see coming, life had put me in the midst of all sorts of danger and I knew better than to be prepared for any of it, in fact all of it.

"I've got some good and bad news for you Mona. The good news is, you are free to go and by free I mean all charges have been dropped against you and the bad news is that you're still too weak to maneuver around so you'll be under heavy home nursing until I clear you out."

"Wait, what do you mean all charges have been dropped? Did they finally realize that I'm no thief or is this one of her other stunts hidden up her sleeves? I don't understand."

"Someone paid Ksh.70,000(700$) to get you out. They said it's anonymous. They won't give any further details. Now you Missy must be very lucky to have attracted such kindness."

Falling back on my back, and my mouth wide agape, I couldn't help but wonder who did it and for what exact reason they actually did it. A whole 70k?? To get me out? Like it was nothing? I mean did they know I was having a hard time or did they hear about my suicide attempt? Whichever the case I had no answers to all these gazillion questions, but truly I was grateful for the big release.

"Your friend is waiting for you outside, he's happy to take you home now." Larry? He was here? Why would he want to come back for me?? What good was I to him other than just misfortunes? My heart was cracking open, but how could I explain the way he pulled me together regardless? God I loved being in his presence!

"Hey Mona, I heard what happened to you. I'm not going to ask if you're doing okay but I'm going to tell you that things will look up at their own best time. They said you got released, I'm here to take you home if that's okay with you."

Nodding my head, embarassment graced my face as the events prior to my release came flashing back in my mind. I couldn't even maintain a straight face with him leave alone eye contact and that didn't even for one minute make him shy away from me, in fact he took my hand in his and let me bury my face in his chest. I felt safe, I felt home.

END OF FLASHBACK

* * *

When had the days gone darker? When had the comfort of the dark sky left my soul? When had the blue skies fallen at the mercies of my feet? When did thunderstorms and lightning suddenly feel like my everyday sunshine? Everything I so dearly loved had somehow burnt down to ashes, and all that was left of me was an undefined hollowness in broad daylight. My body didn't feel like mine, neither did my mind, nor my life. It also felt like a million fragmented pieces shattered across the room and with no beginning to start from because there was hardly any square back to one.

I didn't know what hurt the most, thinking that we were actually a unique collaboration or the fact that she actually called cops on me to prove how powerful she was. It was stupid, I know and if I had seen the signs quite early I'd have saved myself from the pity that covered my face and the shame that fell on my cheeks.

On the drive home, I was pondered deep in thought drowning between the present and the past. Both timezones seemed chaotic, bizarre and unplanned for but still I had no way out. For about one year, I gave my heart to that job, sacrificing meals, sleep and family just to be there fully present and passionately. Not only did I live to work but also lived to love my job. Every aspect, every atom, every last minute of a job that absolutely fucked me up in ways I couldn't even have imagined. How could I have not seen it coming? What was it they said again? Aaah! Yes! Ignorance is bliss, indeed. Only to me the consequences seemed a little more severe than I could have ever anticipated.

"I don't want to go back to work. The pressure from those bosses is unhealthy and quite unnecessary. Also I don't think I'm doing well getting over everything that happened seeing as I've had a lot of triggers lately. I just need to slow down for a bit. My life has been spinning round in circles nonstop. I need a break. I know I've been such a burden to you, you didn't have to be here but you still chose to stick around. Saying thank you won't be enough for me but one day I hope to be good to you like you have been good to me through all of my struggles.

Thank you so much."

My voice broke as I spit those words out of my mouth. Inside my heart I knew I hadn't any plan to figure things out, not even a contingency plan to meet my expenses and needs in the meantime. All I knew was that I needed to take things a little bit slower for my own sake, otherwise I would be headed for the cliffhanger with no return.

More than anything in the world, I was grateful that the universe put Larry in the middle of my brokenness. Never have I ever had someone to sacrifice their time and still be there for me when everything is looking ugly for me. The worst predicament I could have ever made is to actually think that I'd never find myself in such a situation. How little I knew! How relentless I was unprepared! How hard I got hit! Only God knows he didn't deserve it and yet he still looked at me with those eyes, full of love and concern. His heart bleeding out to mine to be whole again. What more could he possibly do?