18 Why am I here? Just to suffer?

Waking up in the morning to a fluffy butt in my face and a kid curled on top of me isn't normally on my to-do list but ye boi will let it slide seeing as I'm in a good mood.

Sliding Socks butt out of my face and getting Brad off of me, looking at his bed as I left the room ye boi noted that he didn't even try to sleep on his bed before joining me.

As it was still early and no one else had awoken, this combined with my good mood gave me the glorious idea of making breakfast for everyone, I'm sure they will be happy.

Now, where are the sugar and beans?

****

"What's going on here?" came the groggy voice of Dad, Bella, and Brad just behind him, it would appear my delicious-smelling food had woken them up.

"Welcome my wonderful family," I said while turning towards them, "This wonderful fellow had prepared breakfast." Why have Brad and Bella gone pale?

"What did you make?" Dad said, his mood visibly improved, as he sat down at the table.

"It's an original dish named Süßer Kot," I said as I presented my immaculate plate of food to Dad, While looking no different to beans on toast in actuality it was a masterpiece.

Shoving two plates in front of the rapidly paling pair while ignoring their claims of not being hungry, they've just got up how could they not be hungry?

Digging into my beautifully prepared food it wasn't long till I heard a crash from the other three, it seems they fainted from how good it tasted.

Maybe I should cook more often.

****

"You aren't allowed to cook anymore," came the unexpected voice of Dad, after waking up the three quickly ran to the toilet to re-experience my food on the way up this time.

After they had the honor of tasting it a second time Dad blindsided me out of nowhere by banning me from making any more food.

"I understand," I said with a sigh, it was obvious what is happening here.

"You do?" cut in Bella.

"Yes, my food is so divine that having it often would ruin its specialness." ah alas those are the woes of being as good as everything as me.

"Wha? No-" she started before Brad cut her off.

"YES! That's exactly the reason we can't eat your food." ah what a noble kid, I sure have raised him well.

"For your honesty Brad I'll give you another serving." Ah, here come the tears of joy, even Dad and Bella have a look of pity on their faces, must be upset about not getting more.

*Crash*

There he faints again.

****

While Brad and Dad did some grandad and grandson bonding ye boi decided to spend the day with sister dearest.

I'm sure she will be grateful for this.

"Why are you following me," oooor not, guess you truly can't understand the minds of women, unlike us simple men they tend to have a billion thoughts a second.

"Be pleased mortal! this God, with a capital G, has decided to grace your abysmal daily life with my presence!" I said while striking a glorious T pose to assert my dominance on all those in sight.

"Stop doing that! e-everyone's looking," ah you had me in the first half, I almost thought my meek little sister had grown some balls and become a man.

"Hmph!" I declared while looking away from her, who is she to turn her nose up at me, I guess this is what I get for being nice.

"You can still come with me, I think it would be fun," she said after trampling on my honor, did she think I would forgive her?

"F-fine, I guess you are forgiven." Hmph, I can already hear the keyboard warrior's complaints, SILENCE! you barbaric bunch, I am the bigger man here.

"Great! let's go shopping."

Maybe this was a mistake...

****

(??? POV)

"How?"

"This can't be the end..."

"Is there no hope left..."

"Death... My friend, is it time for me to enter your embrace again?"

"No! Don't enter the light." that voice? it's familiar.

"I can't hold on any longer," I uttered, the sweet release is coming for me.

"Hold fast brother! you can make it." I felt a hand clasp my weakened form, trying to raise me up.

"Grandad... is that you?" even my deceased grandfather is here to greet me after my death.

"Bob? What are you doing?" This isn't heaven! if that infernal demon is here then this is worse than hell!

"Run Brother! it's too late for me." I said while coughing up blood.

"I will remember your sacrifice!" the random stranger said while running away, leaving me alone in a pile of shopping bags.

It has been six long hours since I agreed to this horrible shopping trip, who knew this small town had so many shops, being dragged by my sister into all of them was insufferable.

How could something so trivial as shopping bring such weakness to me? it was during that time I met my sworn brother-in-arms, Hank, who was accompanying his wife.

We made fast friends, we survived the battle of two peaks, the land down under and even the shit show that is Walmart.

To say our bond was forged through blood, sweat and tears wouldn't be a lie, but all good things must come to an end, it's Starbucks that dealt the final blow.

Why can't I just get a normal coffee with normal milk?

"Come on Bob, we still have seven more stores to visit~" came the demonic voice of my sister.

Why am I here? just to suffer?

****

May his soul rest in peace.

anyhoo this chap took longer to write as my fingers are almost frozen off.

New question~

Favorite game rn?

I've been enjoying three.

-Elden ring

-Generation Zero

-Ghost watchers