Angelite and white roses

Dread, pure existential dread, "Why me" I mumble out loud as my back hits my bed. "Oh come on, have some fun. lighten up a little bit!" my best friend of eight years almost nine years Akiko Akemi exclaims sitting in my desk chair and spinning around. "Its your nineteenth birthday and you want to stay inside all day, talk about boring" Akiko states rolling her eyes.

"Well, excuse me if I don't like going outside" I say sarcastically sitting up in a Criss cross position on my queen-sized bed.

Akemi starts rambling on about some sort of "Big party" that everyone is going to and that I should go.

I toon her out in favor of gazing out the window, watching the cars pass out of my window watching as the sun slowly starts to set and the sky starts slowly fading from a pastel blue to lavender and soon to be red.

"So, reaper what do you think" Akiko asks using the nickname she gave me due to my fascination with the underworld. "Oh, um yeah?" I say questioningly hoping that was the right response to her question. "perfect I knew you would come around!" She practically screams.

"Ko, not so loud. my ears are so sensitive" I utter as the ringing in my ears starts dying down. "Oh, my Gods, I'm so sorry. She says worriedly getting up from my desk chair and walking ten feet to my bed to sit next to me.

"Are you ok?! Do I need to get your mom?! I'm so sorry I forgot I'm so dumb" the mutters the last part to herself. "No, Ko its ok you're not dumb it's easy to forget" I respond laying a hand on her cheek. Watching as her mood changes quickly from concerned to excitedly rambling on about my birthday I giggle. I really did end up with the best, best friend

You know what I take that back. I am currently being dragged out of my house by an excided Akiko headed off to that party she was talking about. Apparently, that question she asked earlier was if I wanted to go with her and 4 friends to the party. If that was not bad enough, she forced me into a tight red dress with a huge black laced up dip in the front, a choker with a red rose on it and 6-inch heels. Look, I know I walk around in 6-inch platforms on a regular basis but that is different than wear this foot torture device that likes to crush my toes and is not even comfortable. The tight dress does not make it any better either.

"Hey Ari lets get matching tattoos some time, I know a pretty good tattoo artist around here!" Akiko offers. I nod my head, maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea I've wanted one for a while. We walk for a bit making jokes and having fun like we used to. I miss this, us just hanging out even if it's just walking I've been super busy with finals I hadn't even noticed that we haven't hung out in a month. "We're here, I'm so excited! I can't believe you've never gone to a party before. But hey there's a first time for everything, you'll love it!". She exclaims excited. I might give this party thing a try.

We enter someone's house the smell of a mix of weed, booze, and smoke, hits my sensitive nose. Maybe this was not the best idea after all. I don't know who's house this is or even any of the people here. I wanna leave this place is cramped with people I don't know, people are laughing there probably laughing at me I'm a laughing stock, this is why I don't leave my room. "Hey Aki I need to go to the bathroom" I say needing to get out of here as I feel nonexistent stares on my back, people are looking at me. There all judging me, they all hate me, I need to leave.

"Alrighty then I'll take you over there" she says dragging upstairs and over too a small white door. "Here it is, I'm gonna go hang out with some of my friends, ok" she asks, I nod. Really it's not ok I want her to stay here with me to comfort me but I'd don't want to be a burden. "Ok then, don't be afraid to come get me if you need anything we can leave at any time you want to no questions asked I would never force you I know you have anxiety and this is outside of your comfort zone already. Don't hesitate to get me if you don't feel comfortable, ok" I nod my head and walk into the bathroom.

It's been 20 minutes and I'm sitting in the corner of a bathroom at some random persons house party that I don't even know playing some games. I hear a knock at the door and a voice speak "hey Ri, Akemi said you were here, can I come in" I recognize that voice, Ash!. I quickly make my way over to the door and open it seeing my one and only older brother ash right in front of me.

"I thought you were gone for boarding school?" I ask, " it ended, three days ago actually" he responds to my question. I nod my head as he walks into the bathroom. "Are you doing ok? You don't look like your having a good time. I know this kind of thing can trigger your anxiety pretty bad, big social gatherings are not your thing, I'm guessing by the fact you sitting up here in the bathroom and not with your best friend partying on your birthday I'm right" he remarked.

"Yeah I almost had a panic attack earlier had to get Aki to take me up to the bathroom so I could calm down didn't want to ruin the party for her" I asseverate. "Ruin the party for her?! It's your birthday if you wanted to leave she would immediately get you out of here, you know that a dam party matters so much less to her then your happiness and mental health" ash reasons.

🌸if your reading this, this chapter is far from done and I'm typing it in a word document so the next time I update it the full chapter will be done, thank you for your patience🌸- Lynix