Not Everything Is As It Seems

Thea’s point of view-

I was surrounded by my family for once, all the people that I loved were right in front of me, but not the way I wanted them to. They all were worried and in tears, because of me. And that’s what I hated the most, when someone is worried and I am the reason behind it. So, I tried my best to reassure them that I was fine.

“Well, then I would like to go home, since everything is okay with you. I have an important meeting.” My mom explains, leaving the room to take a call.

My Dad rolls his eyes as he explains that I could go home later that day. After coming back home, I took plenty of rest and a few medicines and after taking leave for one day from my classes, I decided to resume my daily schedule. I also got to know that Michael was arrested and was behind bars, which made me a little but I couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was about to go down but I wanted to focus on the brighter side rather than dwelling on the negative, so putting up a convincing smile on my face, I walk over to my first class of the day. I felt a few students mumble and whisper behind my back, but I try my best to ignore him.

I could also feel a few dirty glances on my way and I internally rolled my eyes at them. The whole day went like this and it was my Psychology class, which I was busy putting on the back of my head, which led to me being mentally unprepared for. I enter the class, without glancing at Kiernan and resign in the front bench. I could feel his stare as more students started to fill in and he resumed his lecture but I still find him throwing a worrying glance at me from time to time.

The bell rings and as I expected, Kiernan asks me to stay behind for a minute. It was when I was standing opposite his desk, I noticed the dark shadows beneath his eyes, making me scowl. He wasn’t sleeping properly and it’s because of me. I felt so guilty and embarrassed at the same time, that I wanted to become a ball and disappear. Then my eyes fell on the knuckles of his hand, which still looked bruised and bad. And even though I knew that I wasn’t supposed to cross the line, I couldn’t help but take his right hand and inspect it.

“It’s my fault.” I whisper, as I tentatively run my finger across his wound and hear his wince lightly.

“No, Thea it’s not. Stop blaming yourself.” He says as he pulls his hand back and walks over to me, his brown laced with concern and worry, making me frown further.

He looks over at my face and sighs before putting his hand on my cheek, in the most tender way, as if he was afraid to hurt me and caresses my cheek with his thumb, inching closer as I close my eyes and feel his lips on my forehead, as my heart jumps out of my chest. He stays there for a few seconds as I now understood that, he feels something towards me too.

Then as he pulls back, I open my eyes as I find myself asking how am I supposed to make him stay away from me. I sigh as I take out a band-aid and an antiseptic cream from my bag. I take his hand as I feel his brown eyes on me but I ask myself to concentrate on treating his wound. I put on the cream and then the band-aid as I forced myself to look in his eyes, “I am fine. So stop worrying about me.”

“Are you really? Or are you just pretending?” He asks as I find myself unable to answer. All I ever wanted at this moment to feel his arms around me and forget about everything else.

I shake my head as I bite my lower lip and look down at his hand still holding on to mine and that wound gave me the motivation to ask him to stay away, “Kiernan, you were right. I am sorry for tangling you up in my life, making it messy and crossing the line. It was very wrong of me to do so and from now on, I will try my best to keep our relationship as it should be and as you wanted it from the beginning.”

I turn to leave but he hugs me from behind, stopping me from leaving. His arms wrapped around my waist, holding me securely as he whispers, “It was me who was wrong, Thea. I want to give us a chance, whatever this is…I want to try this. I am the one who should be sorry to realise this so late. I like you Thea and I don’t know how it’s possible for me to feel like this way when we have just met but-

I pull myself away from his hold and turn to look at him, furious at myself and at him and the world, “It’s just a phase of infatuation Professor Kiernan. You will get over it soon, don’t worry.”

Then I walked off, leaving him standing there trying to control the tears that were threatening to fall. He likes me and I like him too but this is just so much more complicated than that. Why did he need to be my Professor? Why is fate so cruel? I walk straight outside covering my face with my cap as I walk back home. By the time I reached home, I had completely calmed down. And he is probably feeling bad for me and mistaking it as his liking for me, I conclude to myself to push away any sort of other possibility that my mind was imagining of us being together.

I dozed off on my bed as I dreamt about so many things, Michael’s prying, hungry eyes and then my parents fighting but then it changed into something more pleasant as I found myself sitting on a top of a hill, looking at the sky changing its colors and I was in someone’s warm embrace. It felt so warm, safe as I turned my face to meet those familiar brown eyes as Kiernan was smiling down at me as he placed a soft, lingering kiss on my forehead. But then the scenery changes as Kiernan is being pulled away from me and I notice him being stabbed by Michael.

I open my eyes shouting and drenched in sweat, tears streaming down my eyes as Lucy enters the room and immediately pulls me into a hug, patting my back to help me calm down. “It’s okay Thea, everything is fine.” She whispers to me again and again.

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Kiernan’s pov-

It has been a week since Thea walked away from me and yet my feelings are not dying but keep on growing instead. Thea is pretending to look as if she is fine but I have watched her look at the sky, looking so lost and lonely in her own world. I want to try and approach her, pull her into my arms and ask her to cry her heart out. Our eyes have met a number of times but she always looks away too quickly or walks off in the opposite direction.

I want to ask her friends what’s really going on with her so when I saw Lucy alone, I tried asking her but she refused to answer because she wanted to respect her best friend’s decision, which made me realise that I need to respect the person I like. Forcing her to feel anything for me isn’t ideal. This is going to be difficult but I need to respect her decision no matter how hard it’s for me, I cannot be selfish.

Entering the class, I saw a group of students talking about Michael, that bastard, leaving school because Thea tried to seduce him and there was no way Michael would have made a move on her. It made my blood boil to hear something like that. I told them off about it and explained that she was the one who was sexually assaulted and judging people or making up rumours like this is not funny or something to gossip about. I also warned them not to say anything about this matter ever again. Then as I walked back to my desk I saw Thea standing there at the door and as our eyes met, she smiled at me…her actual bright-eyed smile and my heart started racing faster.

Looking at that smile after so long made me realize how much I missed it as I look away, clearing my throat as I turn to look back to resume my lecture and there she was sitting in the front bench, looking at me with lit up eyes and bright shy smile as I clear my throat to focus on my teaching and not at Thea.

After the lecture, she stayed behind surprising me again, because most of the time she was the first to leave. And there she was standing with her eyes filled with admiration for me as I just looked at her stunned. So much for moving on!

She extends her hand, as she tilts her head, “I want us to be back on talking terms, Professor Kiernan. I hated every second of the way I treated you and realised that you deserve so much better than that. Do you think it’s possible?”

I take her hand and shake it gently, as her smile widens as I nod my head in reply, “Sure.”

“Well, I guess I will see you tomorrow, Professor Kiernan.” She says, before walking off and she stops at the door turning her body to look at me again, “Also, thank you for earlier. It means a lot more than you can imagine.”

You mean a lot more to me than you can imagine, I think to myself but I dare not say it aloud as I just give her a smile as she looks at me, seeming a little dazed but looking away immediately and closing the door behind her.