Chapter 43

"You're so erotic, Eria!"

As always, Jessica came to hug me from the side. Because of that, my breasts came dangerously close to popping out of the suit Julian has lent me. If I didn't make it in time to hide them with my arms, everyone would have seen them and my pride as a woman would have shattered.

Now that I think about it... just when did I start to think of myself as a woman? No, I think it's an unconscious response. When I was a man, I wouldn't get embarrassed if people saw my naked torso, but now, as a woman, I instinctively try to cover myself up, embarrassed to show my chest to the public.

"Wha-what kind of scene is this...?"

"I noticed it before... but those are some massive jugs..."

The knights and the others quietly murmur to themselves, intently watching me desperately try to hide my boobs as I get rocked by Jessica.

"Enough of that."

"Eek! S-sorry!"

Receiving Julian's intense stare, Jessica finally let go of me. She shrieked in terror and retreated back to the others. I think it's a bit of an overeaction, but I guess that just how scary Julian really was.

When Jessica left, the atmosphere went back to normal again.

"Ehem... let's continue. Prepare to carry the wyvern's head in an open wagon. As for its body... you can cut its limbs and put them anywhere you like, just make sure you cover them up."

"Yes, sir!"

Assigned with the physical work, the knights and the ordinary foot soldiers left, leaving the mages on their own to continue to report to Julian.

"And the casualties?" Julian asked the mages' representative.

"Two knights and one of our own are beyond recovery."

"No casualties in the adventurers?"

"There's none. After being healed by the priests, they recovered all their injuries."

"Even though they failed their job, they still managed to come out unscathed..."

As expected of magic, no matter how deep or big the wound is, it can be healed perfectly back to normal. Even though they sustained massive damage, none of the adventurers died because of it.

"Then, you all can take your time recovering. Once the others prepared the corpse, we'll go back right away."

"Yes, sir!"

Nodding, the mages left to rest. So while the knights and foot soldiers are doing physical work, the mages and priests are resting... it kind of sounds unfair.

"You can rest too, Eria... you suffered the most beating, after all," Julian suggested.

"O-of course!"

"Mm?" hearing me answer in a rush, Julian's eyes frowned and he stared intently at me.

"You look pale... is everything alright?"

"Do I?" As if it was by instinct, I went and touched my cheeks.

"You don't look okay... is anything bothering you?"

"Ah... no, I was just thinking..."

I stopped and swallowed my words. Then my eyes stumbled at the burnt crater the wyvern's fireball created earlier.

"I was just thinking that I shouldn't have let my guard down when we fought that monster... I didn't notice it fire and that killed those people."

Even before that, I should have went together with the adventurers and attacked the enemy right away. If I did, it would have not been able to defeat them so easily and it wouldn't fire that fireball in the first place.

"Is that so? Well, you don't have to think about it that much. It's normal for campaigns like this to have several casualties."

"I see... but it's still something that I could've prevented. I can't help but blame myself for not taking action."

"It's not your fault. I let my guard down too and I miscalculated, but it's also isn't my fault those men died," Julian's tone was indifferent as always.

Just how can he say that when they're deaths is his responsibility as their leader? I know he's selfish, but this goes even farther than that.

"Do you know why they died? It's because they were weak and they weren't able to defend themselves... not even that, they weren't even able to run away in time before they were hit."

"Don't you feel even the tiniest amount of guilt saying that?"

"Look, everyone was unprepared. No one expected that the enemy would be that strong. The information we had of that monster also turned out to be unreliable. If that's the case, no one can be blamed for anything that happened since it was unexpected."

I continued to listen to his words with a frown.

"No, that's not it... if there was anyone to blame, it would be those dead people themselves. The information I got as the leader was wrong, the adventurers failed their role, you didn't act in time, so all that's left for them to rely on was themselves... they failed to do that, now they're dead."

"Your logic doesn't make sense."

"It might be, but it's better than blaming yourself."

So, did he say those things so I'd stop blaming myself? The next words that escape his mouth proved that thought.

"You don't look good with such a sad look on your face. You should keep awkwardly smiling like you always do. You know, like when you get caught talking bad behind my back."

Was that an attempt for a joke? If so, it was hilariously bad... its timing was also the worst. You don't follow such a grim speech with a bad joke.

"If you were just trying to cheer me up, then you failed. You only made yourself look worse."

"Fufu..." he chuckled and walked away.

"Where are you going?"

"To change clothes. I look like a servant in this shirt."

That shirt was what he was wearing under the suit I'm borrowing right now. Just like he said, it looks similar to what a waiter or a male servant would wear... no, in this case, it's one of those clothes pretty boys would wear in a shoujo anime.

"I will let you borrow that for now, but you should change too. You're making the men excited..."

Looking around, I can see everyone around me taking secretive glances at my body.

"Ugh..."

"Later."

With that, he finally left.

We came back to the city with the same formation as when we left, but this time, the wyvern's head is being paraded on an open wagon behind Julian.

Although we left and came back unannounced, so many people still gathered to welcome us in the city. Everyone of them sang Julian's name, as if he was a hero coming back from a long adventure. They praised and congratulated him, and he smiled and waved back at them. Those who knew what Julian really was like knows that smile was fake.

So this is what a pro at faking smiles can do? I knitted my brows, looking at the girls yelling and screaming for his attention.