Pessimistic

"So, you will have consultancies from now on?" Jack questioned as he put a piece of food in his mouth. "And when will you stop having them?"

"Until I have a passing grade," the black-haired boy answered as he chopped his friend's food with a fork.

Actually, he didn't really like the idea of ​​having extra classes. His knowledge was not scarce and he felt good about the grades he had obtained, but guilt gnawed at him at the thought that his father was right in saying he was a loser. Although he had not directly said that, he had implied it. And he understood that, because who would want to be the father of a loser like him? If he didn't do things perfectly, then they weren't worth doing at all.

At least that was what his father had told him all his life.

But still, he didn't want to see the same person after class every day. It was too annoying to have to see so many people at school. He just disliked the idea of ​​someone helping him on things he did understand. It would be like wasting time trying to fix something that didn't need a solution.

"I envy you, dude. I'd like to have the same grades as you." The blond smiled, but, when he noticed the seriousness and slight anger on Sebastian's face, he tilted his head in confusion. "Something happens?"

He blinked a few times to put his thoughts aside. He hadn't realized that he had started to rip the wooden table with his nails. He quickly lowered his hand, placing it on his lap and holding it with his other hand. He looked at the boy, hoping he hadn't seen that little action he had done.

How many times had he already heard those words? Of course, there were a lot of things going on in Sebastian's world, and a lot of them were harmful to him. Not necessarily because they really were, but it seemed that his mind liked to dramatize everything that happened, causing it to self-destruct in a matter of seconds. Which he hated about himself, but which he could not change. Unless he attended all the therapies that were recommended and took the medication that was prescribed months before and, by the way, he had put aside.

Again, the answer was the same.

"Nothing at all." He tried to smile, but it turned out to be a grimace. "How is graduation going?" He asked, changing the subject.

"Jade has everything under control," replied the blond, leaning even more on the chair he was sitting on. "She already got together with the music club to take care of the show at the event." Sebastian widened his eyes in surprise.

"Are you serious?" The other nodded. "I did not know it. It looks like she's doing a great job."

"Of course! We already know how she is: she likes to have everything prepared since the beginning."

"I should be the one who takes care of that. Sorry for being a terrible leader." Jack raised his folk, pointing him.

"Don't even think about saying that in front of Jade. She won't like to know that you think that. You are a good leader and all the members think the same. Even if you haven't been there lately, that idea hasn't changed. We all love you and we need you in the council. Things wouldn't be the same without you."

"But I have neglected you." With his hand he pushed the fork away from his face. "A good leader doesn't do that."

"Leaders go through bad times too," Jack sighed before continuing. "I know you're not okay, and I'm not the only one noticing it. Sebas, when are you going to accept it?"

"I've said it a lot of times. I'm fine. Everyone goes through bad times, you said it yourself. So, you don't have to give it too much importance. It is common."

"I don't know what worries me more, Sebas: the fact that you don't want help or that you take it so carelessly."

He was going to answer, but was distracted when he saw six boys pass in front of the table that both Jack and Sebastian were occupying. The redhead looked at him, but quickly continued on his way, as if trying not to show any interest. The older one did not know what Hirsch's gaze was conveying, as he did not have time to analyze it. The next to pass was Milo Redelfs, the blonde eleventh grade class president, who greeted them with a smile, closing his eyes and showing his teeth. Both boys nodded, reciprocating the greeting. Tiger Loveall and Kwan Youngblood, eleventh and tenth graders respectively, mimicked the other boy's action to keep moving forward. When it was Yoram's turn, he ignored his presence, walking past the table. The black-haired boy did not know if it was on purpose or did not really notice them. Although he thought the first option was more credible. What had he done to receive such treatment from him?

Instead, Nathaniel, like the three minors, also greeted them. Sebastian waved his hand for him to continue on his way. The boy nodded, hurrying his step to catch up with the others. He had barely noticed that he was carrying a couple of papers in his hands, probably documents from his club. As far as he knew –because it was something he was not interested in knowing– the silver-haired guy was part of the group that was in charge of consultancies at school.

With his eyes, he followed the boys' path. They took place a couple of tables from them. Sebastian smiled slightly. It was not a happy smile, but one to hide the sadness he felt at that moment. "And to think that not long ago I was part of them, too", he thought, looking back at his table. Although, in reality, his nostalgia is not due to all the boys in that group, but to the one who had previously been his best friend.

Still, it was nice to know that Hirsch was fine, but at the same time, it hurt to realize that he wasn't hurt at all. Maybe it hadn't been as special to him as he was to Sebastian.