51 -Life tastes like Uracil Cytocine and Thymine-

—

The demons took Teeth up on his offer to come over to our house for a party. I spent the whole day cooking up everything I could think of. Ammy helped me make sandwiches while Hectorgon used the stove. I mixed up a lot of cookie dough and even synthesized some chocolate pieces. Then I wondered if they could even digest chocolate?

Wouldn't want to poison them. Just to be safe I asked PaciFire for any allergies and other dietary needs his people tended to have. I have found that aside from the basic Carnivore, Herbivore and Omnivore diets I was familiar with, a lot of aliens had specific dietary needs unique to their species. Teeth is a true Omnivore and can eat practically anything that's biodegradable. Ammy's digestive system was similar to my own in that he dissolves the bonds between chemical chains. The difference is that he doesn't actually need to eat food. He mainly feeds on pure energy, which he can get from my flame (though I once found him sticking his hand into a ship's engine core while we were raiding a pirate ship to free some captured slaves).

Pyronica is obviously carnivorous. She doesn't like eating plants and for the most part she can eat them without any harm but she doesn't get much nutrients from them. Xanthar just feeds on liquids. Any kind of liquid. Water, fruit juice, beef stew, acids, liquidated solids and etc. Hectorgon was much like Teeth as an omnivore but he fell more on the plant eating side, his jaw built more for grinding than tearing, whereas Teeth's large mouth ensures he can swallow things without chewing. He and Pyronica sometimes have swallowing contests. I had to prevent them from choking to death quite a few times (and ignore Keyhole for getting too into watching it).

Keyhole can eat rocks alongside 'normal' food. His species can break them down to extract any iron or other metals. The metal is secreted out from their 'holes' into personalized keys. The process can take months. Their people originally traded these keys as an IOU for exchanges of favors. Like a farmer will trade some crops for someone's Key and use it as a promise to get something in return from them in the future, at which point they return the Key to the one who produced it. Since Keys were all personalized, they can easily verify who owed who a favor by seeing who's keys you had. Over time the Keys themselves became currency, with families saving the Keys of their ancestors and amassing wealth.

Kryptos was a strange case. He didn't eat like I did, despite our similar looking body shapes, instead all the food inside him is crushed flat by his unusually strong esophagus as he swallows. His stomach is nearly flat but it digests things quickly. Kryptos can't eat a lot of food at once (there's just not enough room) and prefers meals with softer foods for easier flattening. Also soups or stews.

I learned their preferences slowly over the years I've known them, changing out my meals to all sorts of things so they can try something new and discover different flavors. I've even started making each of their meals specialized to their nutritional necessities.

Basically I'm bored and have way too much time on my hands.

PaciFire listed off the things he liked. He appeared surprised to see how seriously I was planning this party. "Well if we're gonna have a party, I want it to be a good one." I shrug. "Now let's talk dairy."

---

"Bill...are you...alright?" Teeth asks worriedly as I rearranged the furniture in the main room again. "I'm absolutely fine. Now do you think I should clear more room for the dance floor or have more space between the couches so people can sit to eat?"

"I think you should sit down and let us handle the rest of this." Teeth gently steered me away from the couches. "I know this party is gonna have more guests than you're used to but you don't have to work so hard." I was still staring at the couches. What if I moved the dance floor to the ceiling?

"Come on Bill. I'm the one who asked for this party so at least let me do some of the work. You've already done enough." Teeth drags me to Kryptos's room and pushes me in. "Here. You two can nerd talk. Me and Pyronica can handle the decorations."

He closed the door and I sighed. "Have I really been working too hard on this party?" I turn to Kryptos. The compass shrugged. I can see the college application forms spread around his desk. University of Sigma-6? That's a pretty high end place. I had a brief thought of infiltrating the teaching staff there as well. No, probably shouldn't.

I spotted something that made me freeze. "Are those...dormitory applications? Are you moving out?" I may have stared at him rather...intensely. Kryptos hurriedly shook his head.

"No! Well, yes. But it's not like that! A few of these places require me to dorm for my first year. It's only for the first year. I can commute to school after that!" He assured me. My stare relaxed its intensity. He babbled quickly, trying to explain himself. "A few schools like to observe the students to judge their character and want them to live on campus at least for freshman year." He sighs "So I'm not moving out." He glances at me with a soft expression "I'm not leaving you."

"I-it's not...." I sputter, feeling horribly selfish. I really didn't want Kryptos to leave me. I don't want any of them to leave me (I never got this possessivly clingy as a human what the fuck?!). They're my friends. Mine. We had a Deal. They belong to me. I shake my head. No. I can't...I can't think like that. They belong to themselves. I shouldn't be this upset by Kryptos wanting to move out...or get some space away from me...or not needing me anymore...

"Bill!?" Kryptos panics when I start crying. "No. Bill. It's okay. It's okay..." He takes my hand and pats me awkwardly. I let out a whining sound. Kryptos sighs. "You really are an emotional mess." He gently pulls me down for a hug. I flinch but allow it. He continues making soothing sounds as he rubs a hand on my back comfortingly. "Ssh~ssh~it's okay. Everything's going to be okay...I'm not going to leave you. You're my friend. I agreed to that myself and that's never going to change."

I slowly relax into his embrace, sniffling softly. His emotions were that of worry and comfort but there was a hint of self satisfaction. A sense of pride at how important I found his company. He knew that I valued him greatly and didn't want to lose him. Or any of my friends. He knew that my emotional attachment to him gave him power over me. It tickled his pride. It made him feel powerful, knowing he had so much sway and control over my emotional state. He craved power, always had. From his childhood as the overlooked and bullied child, to his months as Jorgio's prisoner...Kryptos loved this sense of control he had over me.

I was thrilled to discover this. It meant he would never leave me. He was addicted to the sway he had over me. Over Bill Cipher, one of the most powerful creatures in the multiverse. A demon capable of destroying entire planets...and here I was, nuzzling into his arms for comfort. He loved this feeling. It made him feel superior and it was how I was reassured that he would never leave me. It gave him too much satisfaction.

It was also incredibly fucked up.

But if it meant he would stay with me then I don't care. I'm fucked up too.

I slowly calmed down. This was nice. Hugs were...sort of nice...Kryptos and I were similar in size so I didn't feel suffocated or restrained by his hugs. As much as I loved Pyronica, her hugs were a little too intense for my comfort. I'm just so small. So very small. I felt uncomfortable when being hugged by someone larger than me. I felt restrained, confined and claustrophobic.

The only huge creatures I felt comfortable being hugged by were Xanthar and Ax because I trusted them wholeheartedly. I know they would never hurt me. I relaxed into Kryptos's arms. He was still rubbing my back soothingly. The glove sort of detracted from the comfort though.

"Are you feeling better?" Kryptos asks. I nod, straightening up and wiping my tears. "Yeah. Sorry about that."

"Is your emotional instability caused by your eons alone or is it a racial thing?" The compass wonders. I shrug. "Probably both." My existence is a mass of thoughts and emotions. I can't NOT feel, though what exactly emotions feel like was slightly different than I remember from my first life. If my consciousness was made up of thoughts (and thus, emotions), I wonder if that meant I feel everything more strongly? While a human felt emotions via different chemical signals, I feel emotions by BECOMING those emotions, my bricks changing colors like a mood ring.

Yellow being my default with a healthy glowing indicating contentment and happiness. Red for anger. Orange for embarrassment or other highly emotional state falling between pleasant and not. When I was sad my bricks dulled into a paler yellow, my glow dimming with my mood. Those were just the ones I've noticed often enough to understand. For me, emotions were a full body experience and sometimes it took outside help to snap me out of it.

"So." Kryptos says once he's sure I've calmed fully back to my default color. "Teeth is kicking you off party planning?"

I laugh awkwardly. "I might have gotten a little over board."

"I think you've made enough food to last us a month." Kryptos rolls his eye at me. I giggle. "Well they're all under a preservation Curse so they won't lose any freshness before we eat them."

"How exactly does that work? Do you halt the progression of time around the food or do you repel bacteria and oxygen from breaking them down?"

"It's actually a bit of both. You see if I just halt time it would preserve the temperature and shape of the food but that doesn't stop the microbes from getting in and eating it so I also have to make a shield to keep them out. Then I have to tweak the curse to drop the shield when someone tries to eat it. And then tweak it again so that the ingested part will be freed from the preserving effect so that whoever eats it can actually digest it while leaving the non-eaten parts still under preservation..."

I rambled for a very long time. It was a good distraction while the others finished setting up decorations.

---

"Shit this place is dope!" HighChair gasps as I Blinked them all into the Death Star. I admit, Pyronica and Teeth did well on the decorations. I don't know how he got that wrestling ring into the house without me noticing. Granted I wasn't paying attention but still.

They arranged the couches into a sort of audience seating area and moved my little side tables over to give people a place to set down their plates beside the seats. The larger tables were against the wall and covered in all the food I made. There were multiple plates piled high with cookies of all kinds. Butter cookies. Shortbread. Chocolate chip. Gingerine snaps. Milky way cream crackers. I tried to make Geckonut butter since there were no peanuts here and I think it worked.

I may have gone over board.

They certainly seemed thrilled at the food. Teeth pulled out his laptop to play some music. I looked around. "Huh. You made the place look pretty nice."

"Yup! Now go and enjoy the party Bill, I can be the host this time since I'm the one who invited people."

"Alright." I floated off to check on the food tables, make sure everything looked alright. I'm actually unsure what to do with my time right now. I guess I could just go dance. I spot Pyronica playing around in the ring and went to join her.

"Hey Bill. Wanna bounce on these ropes?" Pyronica leans against the side of the ring and springs off to rocket herself to the other side. She tumbles around with a laugh. It looked fun. I float up and push myself back on the ropes like a slingshot. Of course I end up being flung out of the ring and into a wall. "Uwu~"

"Shit! Are you okay?!" Pyronica rushes up to me as I slide down the wall and flop onto the ground. "Uwu~" I moan. The demons laughed uproariously. "You got some distance! Awesome!" I shake my head. "Ok...not doing that again..." I get up to grab Pyronica's hand. "Wanna just dance instead?" I asked. She grins. "That might be safer for everyone involved."

As I led her into a twirl I felt Keyhole's stare. Grinning to myself, I made us dance closer to him, stretched out my hand to grab the kid and swung him up to replace me. Keyhole's eyes were wide as he found himself holding hands with Pyronica. "Hey, take over for me, I'm gonna get a snack." I chirp before floating away. Keyhole turns brown in a full body blush as Pyronica laughs and pulls him along. Keyhole turns to give me a frantic look. I just give him a double thumbs up. I see him stammering as Pyronica chats with him. Ah, crushes~

I find PaciFire by the snack table. He's chatting with ChubbyCheeks about next week's episode, Chubby's leaving the show since his character was 'exorcised' but he still wanted to know what would happen. I don't want any spoilers so I turn to grab some fruit juice instead. I hear someone call me. I turn to see Giggles. "Hey mister Cipher."

"Bill is fine." I shrug.

"Alright Bill. I was just wondering if there was any sulfuric acid? I'm dihydrogen monoxide intolerant."

"Oh. Sorry 'bout that." I flick my fingers and a punch bowl appears filled with a clear liquid. "I should warn you away from a few of the food here too..."

I chat with her for a while before excusing myself to check on my other guests. I know Teeth wanted to be the host but I couldn't help playing the part of a hostess as well. If the party was just my personal friends I can go wild but with these other people here I felt a need to be the responsible one.

I hate being the responsible one but I still neurotically did it. I checked on all the demons and chatted with them. I made sure they were all having a good time. A few requested other songs. Diaper Rash had awful taste in music. The band Relith d'Art only had fan songs. What I mean by that is that their 'musical instruments' were high powered spinning fans of different sizes. I personally cannot understand why the sound of whirling fans counts as music.

Maybe I'm being unfair due to bias but I think making all your songs out of metal fans distorting air is objectively terrible.

A couple of Jan's songs came up. Teeth asks if I know what language the songs are in and what they mean. Since the Earth hasn't come to be, human languages like Japanese and English weren't widely known.

"Yeah I know what the words mean." The song ECHO was currently playing so I sang along. "The clock stopped ticking~forever ago~how long have I been up? I don't know~I can't get a grip but I can't let go~there wasn't anything to hold on to though~"

I sang and had my 'translation' effect allow everyone to understand the meaning of the words. I purposely don't do that during a concert because some of the lyrics are...weird. I don't want people realizing some of my songs were about heart break, insanity and cannibalism. Like the song I'm Sorry I'm Sorry.

Or in the case of the song Happiness and Peace of Mind Committee, government enforced happiness and horrid punishment to anyone who isn't conforming.

I like a lot of fucked up songs.

"Why can't I see? Why can't I see? All the colors that you see? Please can I be? Please can I be? Colorful and free?" I continued singing along with the music.

"What the hell's going on can someone tell me please? Why I'm switching faster than the channels on TV? I'm black then I'm white~no something isn't right~my enemy's invisible I don't know how to fight~" I even did my dance. It was fun.

Bill's voice isn't the best for singing but it was fun to let loose and go with the music. "The trembling fear~is more than I can take~when I'm up against~the echo in the mirror~" I gestured for PaciFire to dance with me. I could tell he liked this song. We were getting into the instrumental parts anyway. He grinned and came to dance with me.

"I'm gonna burn my house down into an ugly black~I'm gonna run away now and never look back~"

Pyronica frowned a little.

"I'm gonna burn my house down into an ugly black~I'm gonna run away now and never look back~"

Hectorgon winced as he got the meaning as well.

"I'm gonna burn my house down and never look back~and never look back~and never look back~"

My friends were now looking a little uncomfortable. The demons who didn't know my tragic backstory were still cheering and dancing to the music. Kryptos comes up to lead me off the dance floor. "Bill, you should come and get some food..." He says. PaciFire picks up that something was wrong and follows us.

"Bill? Are you alright? Do you...want us to change the song?" Pyronica asks as I'm led over to the little group huddle my friends were in. I'm touched that they were worried about me but...

"It's fine. It's just a song. I like this song." I assured them. "I'm fine really." They still looked worried. "I never realized that song was so dark..." Keyhole mutters.

"Some of Jan's songs are dark. A few are hilariously weird. A couple are incredibly sexual. There are plenty of super cute, happy ones and then there's the story songs." I shrug.

"Story songs?" Ammy asks.

"In which the entire song just tells a short story. Stomach Book is a story about a girl who loved reading so much she cut people open when she learned they had a book inside them."

My friends now looked rather disturbed. "Jan-Jan sings about stuff like that?" Kryptos gasps.

"W-well they're not songs written by him...he picks up songs from other places and sings Covers..." I flush and try to see if we could steer this conversation to something else. I was waaaay too embarrassed to let them know Jan was me. "They're good songs! Nice tune, nice beat..."

"Maybe Jan-Jan doesn't realize what he's saying?" Ammy wonders. I decide to make my way out of there before they ask anymore questions. This was so embarrassing. As I leave I can hear PaciFire ask what the problem was.

"Well Bill accidentally burned his dimension to the ground...so..."

"Oh. Yes. I can see why this song might have made you worry. He seems to be doing alright though?"

"Surprisingly yes. I'm glad Bill's in one of his good moods today..."

I go back to the dance floor and eventually the others joined me. They didn't ask for me to translate any more songs but I did a few of the happy ones that popped up. I might have slipped Electric Angel into Teeth's playlist and felt PaciFire give me a subtle thankful look.

He seemed glad to know the song was just as happily cute as it sounded.

---

I twitched.

Teeth was quick to reassure me that they were all going to clean it up. I still twitched at the mess. "They...spilled sulfuric acid all over my couch..." I hissed.

Xanthar was carefully holding onto my leg and keeping me away from the trembling guests. "We're gonna clean it. Just come back and dance..." Hectorgon tried to distract me. Xanthar slowly tugged me away as my bricks flipped around so my eye faced them to continue staring them down. "They didn't do it on purpose. Besides, the party's almost over so we're all going to be doing clean up right now anyway." Hectorgon said soothingly.

I pouted. "Well they can try to clean it up. I might have to repair the couch from the acid damage..."

"It's not too hard right? Just go dance or...sit and relax?" Hectorgon and Xanthar pulled me away as everyone else frantically cleaned the spill.

I slowly calmed down. I can see everyone watching my bricks change color. I hadn't even realized I was red. Ammy waves at me. "Don't worry. I'll smack them for you."

I snorted. "Alright." I relaxed and floated away to go to the kitchen. I'm gonna let them deal with this. I feel everyone let out a sigh of relief. Is it wrong for me to get so upset? I know I can fix or clean anything. But having food or drink land on the ground or furniture has always bothered me. Even as a human I was inconsolable when I noticed crumbs. If any of my friends were eating in the living room I would start freaking out if I saw anything drop.

I sighed. I need to stop stressing over this. I haven't really been able to enjoy myself tonight. Too many people. Too many people that I didn't know. I decided to go check on the Earth again. It'll take my mind off this and give me enough distance away to cool down.

Hah. Cool down. The Earth was frozen. I have issues.

---

Ok.

The Earth has defrosted. It also had a proper layer of gases surrounding it and protecting the surface from harmful solar radiation. That's good. I went to check on the living creatures and was relieved to find life was thriving again.

The earth has survived its first ice age. Is that what it was? An ice age? I stayed for a while, things were picking up speed. The bacteria and algae were evolving and changing quickly. I fondly watched these creatures breathe, live and grow. I watched a few of them get large enough to envelop each other.

Some ate the other single celled organisms. They digested them and absorbed them for nutrients. General consumption. Then I noticed a few that did something more...weird.

A large cell enveloped the smaller one but didn't kill it. The two creatures went along together, one inside the other. Like a Symbiote? I watched them grow and divide, the newly created organism having the same weird cell within a cell anatomy. The two existed peacefully together, helping each other.

This continued for a while. More and more other small creatures eventually joined this growing community of cells. A single celled organism became a multi-celled creature. For years and years this behavior continued until the cells had all become one creature. A colony of cells coming together to work together, stay alive, grow and replicate itself.

It was so weird and creepy and amazing. Oh my god. Watching evolution first hand was so cool!!!

I stayed for a few more years, trying desperately to make contact with these new creatures. I tried to enter their minds but they weren't developed enough. They didn't sleep or dream.

As undeveloped as these things were, they had souls. Weak, fragile, they couldn't fully grasp onto these bodies. The souls filtered in and out of these early multi celled organisms. Was Ax trying to give these new lives sentience?

They weren't strong enough to hold a soul properly yet. It would take many millions of years more before they would. I decided I've stayed here long enough. I give one wiggly creature a fond pat, my hand going through them due to my lack of a physical form and Blinked back home.

---

"..."

Everyone carefully averted their eyes. I see that the demons had all -gone home- escaped except PaciFire since he kinda lives with us now. He looks apologetic.

"I thought you guys said you would clean this." I say flatly. They all flinch.

"We....tried to..." Teeth whimpered.

"So...how...did THIS happen?!" I hiss as I point to the utter destruction that used to be the living room. All the furniture had been smashed into splinters. There was broken glass everywhere from the plates and bowls being shattered along the ground. I was starting to hyperventilate as I stared at the mess in MY living room.

"Ok so it started when HighChair tripped over his own tail while carrying some plates..."

Teeth didn't get to finish explaining because I started screaming in a sound beyond mortal comprehension.

"▂▂▃▃▄▄▅▅!"

Everything went up in flames.

---

"So...this is what happens when Bill gets mad?" PaciFire comments.

"This is what happens when Bill gets mad but doesn't kill you. Since we're his friends he won't kill us so this is the next best thing." Pyronica groans.

"Less talk, more scrub." I say lightly as I turned the page in the book I was reading. There was a whimpering sound beneath me. I lightly thump my chair with a tiny fist. "Quiet you. I'm trying to relax." I wiggled down into a more comfortable position. My 'chair' whimpered again.

"He's gonna turn us back to normal right? We're not gonna be stuck like this forever right?" TubbyTummy whimpers. I turn the page of my book and grew another arm to grab my cup of strawberry lemonade. TubbyTummy made for quite a soft chair. I wiggled again and giggled at the book. Oh my~plot twist~

"We're very sorry we broke your furniture oh great and powerful lord Cipher. Please forgive us!" My 'cup' wailed.

I had turned the demons into sofas, plates and other things that had been destroyed (I'm sure Ax would say something like -Forced shapeshifting isn't the answer to all your problems- but he is wrong). My other friends were scrubbing the floors clean. Luckily the ground was easy to clean. There was a reason I don't have carpet here. A good scrubbing is all it needs. Kryptos was working quietly and sighing in relief that he didn't get turned into an inanimate object this time.

"Does Bill get his kicks from turning people into stuff?" PaciFire asks. Pyronica shrugs. "I know he has a kink for slow or gradual shifts but instant things like this are just for his sense of amusement. I asked him once and he mentioned something about Fairy curses and Furniture by some man named Disney?"

I sipped some more of my drink. "Ah~how refreshing~" I leaned back in my chair. My furniture all whined. "Don't worry so much~I'll change you back tomorrow." I faked a yawn. "Imma take a nap now~"

"You're incapable of sleeping Bill." Pyronica deadpans. I wave her off. "Pssh-"

Keyhole shivers. "Keep the house clean...that was one of Bill's few rules..." He looked to be thinking hard about how to avoid triggering my wrath.

I lean back and fall into a meditative state. As promised I changed everyone back to normal afterward. PaciFire settled into the Death Star nicely. He's a lot rougher than my other friends but when I found him (badly) singing Tango Female by Ice-dimension's pop sensation FABBA in his room and looking so very embarrassed to get caught doing so, I felt like he really does belong here with us.

---

I went to my latest summoning without checking first. I was impatient and I wanted to get it done quickly because there was a Jan-Jan concert in a half hour and I didn't want to be late. Being late to my own concert would be so embarrassing. I can't let my fans down like that. I realized something was wrong the instant I materialized inside the summoning circle.

"Oof!" I grunted as I was pulled to the ground. I couldn't float. Everything felt distant and heavy. I looked at the circle and my eye widened in shock. A binding circle.

"It really worked!"

With great effort, I lifted myself higher so I could see my summoner. A large brain in a jar on top a robot body. It had large eyes that were staring at me in wicked delight. He laughed. "Truly, I'm astounded by my own genius!"

My arms tremble under the weight of the binding sigil. Shit. I try to blink out of there but the circle flashes and I scream in pain as it feels like large needles were being driven into me. My summoner laughs harder. "Ah, ah, ah~no escaping mister Cipher~"

"Well...I wasn't aware my presence was so very WELCOME here." I snark as I tried to hide how scared I was. Serene panic don't fail me now. I reached out my power to tug at the binding circle and hid a wince. This damn thing's pretty elaborate. It would take me time to unravel it enough to escape.

"Of course! I can't have you escaping before you give me what I want." The brain says cheerfully. There was a jolt of pain whenever I prodded at the binding. Fuck. I should have realized something like this would happen. Certain images and symbols have power. The power to bend reality. It's how I could See through depictions of me, how people can perform 'magic' and how people can bind entities. I just never thought anyone would figure out how to bind ME.

To make a binding circle you would need runes and symbols for whatever creature you wanted to capture. Just drawing a triangle wouldn't work on me. You would need something way more complex. To bind ME isn't just binding a simple demon or god. I am cosmic energy. The binding would need to account for that. Not a physical creature but a being of pure energy. It'll be like trying to trap a ray of sunlight in a box.

An apt metaphor for this situation I found myself in. Think! How can I get out? I analyzed the runes along the ground. It wasn't plain flooring, there was solid metal around it. It was arranged like a circuit board that looped back on itself. Trapping energy inside a closed circle. No wonder I couldn't leave. This circle directly targets energy based creatures.

I'm not the only energy based life form in the multiverse. There were as many of us as there were stars in the sky. But we were a tricky, ethereal existence that aren't easily trapped. It took very careful planning to bind a creature with no real mass. The idea of trapping me with a circuit loop was...brilliant. Awful but still incredibly clever.

"If you wanted all the knowledge in the universe you COULD have just asked." I say with an offended tone, hiding my distress and frantic mental clawing at the metaphysical chains of this binding. If I could just make it through this pain to tear off a piece I would be able to gain access to more of my power.

With all the triangles drawn around this circle it was clear this man was specifically targeting me. However he didn't account for one tiny detail. I'm not entirely a triangle. It wasn't much but it made a small crack in the binding that I could exploit. But this was going to take weeks.

Fuck.

Might as well see what this asshole wants. I just have to hold out long enough to break free.

"Oh no. I've heard all about you Bill Cipher. The fact that you know what my desires are is proof. But I don't just want all your knowledge...no..." The brain somehow managed a hungry smile. "I want your body."

I barely managed to hide my disgust "Sorry man but you're not my type."

He laughs, a weird snorting sound as bubbles form around the brain. "Oh jokes now? Truly you are a delight Cipher. No. You see my....condition yes?" He gestured to himself.

"Nice hydraulics. I'm sure you'd make for a good dancer." I quip as I carefully poked at the rune jabbed into my arm. There was nothing physically there of course, but if I could just trace this energy back to it's anchor point in the circle...

This hurt so much. Like a hot iron rod being pull out from under my skin. I hold back a whine. This damn circle was HUGE. And I need to unhook every single rune one at a time.

"Yes well, it's not the best body I could have." My summoner actually looked a little sad. "But you! You are a GOD. If I could take your body for my own..." How a brain can stare at me hungrily I won't even begin to know but he was and it made me incredibly uncomfortable.

"If you just want a physical body I can make one. It's not that hard and you didn't need to go through all this trouble for little ol' me." I heave myself into a sitting position. Stupid bindings, I felt one compress around my ankle and hide my wince.

"Oh but you see, I want yours. Your powers, your immortality..." He was practically salivating. "I want YOU!"

It's official. My summoner is insane. More so than me. I make a show of thinking it over. "Hmmmm~nope."

He looks taken aback. "What do you mean nope?"

"I'm not giving you my body. That's just gross man."

"Oh I don't need you to agree to this. For you see..." He turns to flip a lever on the wall. A huge machine descends from a panel in the ceiling. I analyzed it quickly. From what I could see it seemed to be...

"A consciousness transference device?!" I blink incredulously. In other words. It's like that Electron Carpet thing. I stare at the Brain aghast. "Are you serious?"

"Oh I'm very serious." He giggles.

"Oh sure. Zap us, switch us and then you'll be the one stuck in this lovely circle." It was annoying how the circle prevents me from harming him or indirectly harming him. It also makes it so I cannot delve any deeper into his mind than surface thoughts. I can't See properly. It was frustrating.

"Ah, but the circle is tied to your essence. Your soul! Even after we switch, it would be YOU who remains bound. Then you would be forced to do my bidding, you will be a helpless brain in a jar, I will keep you and you will help me with my work. All your knowledge for me to use!"

I admit. It was a pretty good plan. If I were a normal creature, heck, if I were a normal god, this would seal my fate. I would be trapped here. But losing my body is no big deal. It's not my true form anyway, just an empty shell I was inhabiting. This man was smart enough to know to have a circle that bound a creature's energy and soul but that was due to him wanting to take my body for his own, not because he realized I was a being of pure energy.

This misunderstanding is a blessing. It means he doesn't fully understand how to contain me. It'll still take weeks to break free but I won't have to worry about him actually harming me. Also, it seems he doesn't understand how my powers worked if he thought stealing my vessel would give him my powers.

True, most gods have their powers tied into their biology. Some aspect of their species simply granted them vast power. Like how an Absolith's psychic powers from their huge brains granted them near godly abilities. This man seemed to be under the impression that my powers were tied to my body.

But the truth is I don't HAVE a body.

I'm actually curious how this would work. I can just focus on unhooking the runes while the crazy man did his thing. With another hidden shiver I pulled another one loose. Fuck. That hurt.

2 down, 2998 to go.

This guy was pretty paranoid about me escaping.

"Do not worry Cipher." The brain says almost sympathetically as he taps on some buttons and the machine whirls to life. "I will take good care of you. You hold such precious knowledge inside you after all."

"Why couldn't you just make a Deal like all my other clients?"

"Ah, but how do I know you wouldn't overload me with information until my brain exploded? I know about your side effects. Plus I'm sure you've got knowledge of things that I don't care about. This way, if I wanted anything I can simply ask you."

I laughed. "Fair point. Counter point, I don't give side effects to people I like. Unfortunately, trapping me here has already put you firmly in the 'dislike' column." The machine whirls louder. One end was pointed at me and the other end at the brain. He shrugs. "That doesn't matter because now you are under MY power."

Before the beam hit us, I pulled my consciousness together into a tightly packed ball and braced myself. Didn't want to lose any piece of myself during the transfer. Ah...I'm probably going to be late for the concert, that means I'll have to time travel again. How annoying.

---

I blinked slowly. I was suspended in fluid. There were wires connected into me, running down and into the robotic body this brain was attached to. Oh. It worked. For a brief moment I panicked before I felt my powers. Still there. I calmed. Thank god. I wasn't fully sure this would work. I quickly pulled out another rune. Ouch. I flexed the robot arms, quickly getting used to how to move them.

I hear a thud coming from my 'body' on the ground. I watch as the yellow triangle (gosh this was so weird, seeing my body move around and NOT being the one controlling it) wobble to it's feet. He looked confused. He jumped a few times as if he was trying to fly and looking frustrated that nothing was happening.

That form was based on my body back in the Flatlands. My race wasn't one of those who naturally had any godlike abilities. The most we've got was being able to eat ANYTHING for nourishment. I see him frown and turn to glare at me. "Why isn't this working?! What did you do?!" He screeched at me.

"Oh I didn't do anything. You just don't know how to use my powers." I lied easily while only speaking the truth. He didn't know how to use my powers, true, but he also wouldn't be able to use my powers. Not that he knows. I pull out another rune.

"Tell me how to use your powers!" He screeched. I ignored him and began working out how to move around in this new body. Oh, I've got wheel legs. Weeee! I rolled forward and reached out the robot hand to grab him. "Hey! Put me down! Hey!"

I laugh as I held him in the air, his arms and legs wiggling around frantically. How adorable. I looked around for some place to put him where he wouldn't be able to escape. Can't have him messing with the machines here or attempting to draw another binding circle.

The current one I was bound to had several rules.

1. I cannot leave without his permission

2. I cannot lie to him (this was easily circumnavigated)

3. I cannot actively harm him directly (this one requires a little more creativity to get around)

4. I cannot actively harm him indirectly (paranoid motherfucker this guy)

5. I cannot call for help

That last one was annoying. But at the same time it could be exploited too. It only said I couldn't call for HELP. It did not stop me from calling people to SOCIALIZE. There were 5 binding rules with 600 runes anchored to each. I pull another rune loose. I should probably focus my attention on getting one particular Rule dismantled first. I've been going for the Cannot directly Harm rule.

I really wanted to hurt him.

Currently I was holding him gently, see? Not hurting him. I rolled around searching for some way to hold him down. I pull another rune out. I grunt quietly at the pain. He was still screaming at me to put him down.

This man was dangerous. Even if he couldn't bind my powers, he still managed to bind ME and that was unacceptable. He needed to be destroyed. This threat to my freedom cannot be allowed to live. I couldn't kill him with the binding in place but I wanted to. Oh how I wanted to...

I pulled another rune out and hissed. Looks like they got more painful as I went. Fuck. Now I'm even angrier. He was trying to kick me now. I rolled around his lab, nice place actually, and continued pulling the runes out one by one. Oh, there's an idea. I found some wire and easily tied up his arms and legs, making sure they didn't hurt him.

"Stop it! Release me! If you don't do what I say you'll never go free!"

I yank out the next rune and doubled over on myself. Fffffffffuck! I gasped in pain as my summoner stares at me in realization. "You're pulling them out!? No! Stop it! You'll damage yourself! The pain's going to escalate until you drive yourself mad!" He struggles in his binding. "I won't let you damage that wonderful knowledge you have!"

"Should have thought of that before trapping me here." I sneer at him before yanking out another one. I cried out and twitched this time. Motherfucker!

I had to rest for a bit. My thoughts getting jumbled by the pain. Ow...fuck...

"Stop it! Stop hurting yourself! If you just do what I tell you, I'll treat you well!" He pleaded.

"Will you set me free?" I asked him seriously. He shook his head. "No! Just do as I say! Please!" My only response was pulling out another rune. I cried in agony and slumped over, shivering. Fuck. Shit. God damn this hurts.

This went on for a while, the time I spent recovering enough to pull out another rune getting longer as I was forced to use more time to bring my thoughts back in order. Eventually the agony caused me to black out for a few seconds. That was actually a relief. I can't go unconscious but blacking out made my thoughts scatter enough that I no longer felt the pain. Though being in HIS body/brain allowed me to enter an almost-sleep state.

Eventually my screams turned to laughter as I yanked out a rune and felt the burning of molten heat in the facsimile of nerves within my consciousness. I laughed hysterically as my summoner pleaded for me to stop. That I was damaging the most precious and valuable parts of myself. I flopped onto the ground in front of him. "Then...set me free..." I slurred as I twitched uncontrollably.

"I...can't..." He says quietly.

"Wha?" I asked, half delirious.

"I can't! I didn't...I didn't make the binding with any way to undo it! It's anchored to my life."

"So..." I blinked, trying to focus, ooh the room is spinning "...you were...never going to free me?"

"Please stop. I promise I will take care of you. I will even let you go home. Please just stop hurting yourself."

"But...I'll still be bound to you?" I asked. He hesitated and nodded.

I yank out another rune.

---

How long has it been? I don't know anymore. The second I'm aware again I just instinctively pull out another rune and black out again as the pain overloads me. What was I doing again?

Oh hey. It hurts. Oh wow. It hurts. How funny. It hurts.

Yank.

Pain.

Darkness.

I 'wake up' laughing so hard I'm crying. Am I crying? I don't know. But I'm definitely laughing. Oh boy! Pain is hilarious! Time to pull out another rune. Yank. Pain. Darkness.

I come back to myself and see someone standing over me. It's me. Oh. Hello me. He looks sad. Why are you sad me? He's got wires around his arms and legs but the ends look like they've been chewed through. Have you been chewing wires me? For shame. Wires don't taste good.

The other me is saying something. Wha? I can't concentrate on what he's saying. Must not be important. I pull out another rune.

---

I laid on the ground weakly. Everything hurts. A dull throbbing that almost feels soothing now. I reach out to grab another rune and blink in surprise when there was none. Huh? What? Where did they go? I felt so empty. Where was the delightful sensation of a hot iron rod being scraped down my mind? I stir and look around.

Where am I? How did I get here?

Everything felt slow. Like I was moving through molasses. I twitch and find that my body had no limbs. Just wires jabbed into me connecting to some mechanical parts. Oh. I'm a brain in a jar.

Why am I a brain in a jar?

I'm not supposed to be a brain in a jar. Of this I am sure. I slide myself out of this vessel easily. The brain withering without my energy keeping it alive. I watch the vessel die without my concern. It's not me after all. I turn to look at the room around me. I felt so empty. So light.

I spot something. My formless consciousness flows closer to inspect it. It was...me? No. It can't be me. I'm yellow. This thing on the ground can't be me.

A white triangle with a top hat and a bowtie. There was a large sharp rod stabbed through it's eye, looks painful. Black blood pooled around it's lifeless body. Odd, from the angle of the rod it looks like this triangle man stabbed himself with it. How silly. Why would he do such a thing? There were some words hastily scrawled on the ground near the body.

Sorry

What does that mean? I tilted my massless self in confusion. Sorry for what? I feel like there was something I should know. Something important. For the life of me I just couldn't remember.

I felt sad for some reason. Why? A sense of pity. For what? For whom? I decided I should think about this until I remember. This was important. I know it was. But it was so hard to focus. I felt so empty.

I slowly built a new body for myself. A happy yellow triangle. Adorable. As I slide inside the body I wonder who that white triangle was. I feel like this was important. There was something else important. I had to be somewhere. What was I doing? I was getting frustrated. I should know this. I know lots of things.

Irritated that the knowledge I wanted wasn't coming to me, I slam my hand against a nearby table and moaned at the stinging pain. It was quite pleasant. I was a little more alert now. I blink away some tears. Right. It was coming back to me now. I'm Bill Cipher. That felt correct but it also felt like I was missing something. I had an itching inside me. There was someone I had to go see. Someone who can help me feel less confused.

A flicker of memory. A large pink salamander. Ax. The AXOLOTL. Yes. I had to go to him. He will help. Of that, I was sure. I gathered up my power and blink away to the space between spaces, leaving behind the lab with the two dead bodies.

---

I was held by large amphibious arms the second I got to the space between spaces. I flinched and struggled for a bit before I felt the low rumbling and relaxed. I stared up into the face of a giant salamander. "Ax..." More memories came back to me. Feelings of safety, comfort...love.

-I was so worried-

The arms around me tightened. I reach out to hug him back. This felt familiar.

"What...happened?" I asked him. I didn't know, maybe he did?

-You broke again- He whispered sadly.

"Was I ever fixed?" I blink in confusion.

-You were healing...you were finally healing...but then this happened-

He sounded so sad. It made me sad too. I reach up a hand to pat his large face. "It's ok. If I could heal before I can heal now." He just holds me closer.

-Stay. At least until you remember-

"Ok." I trusted him wholeheartedly even if I couldn't remember why. I know there was somewhere I had to be but that wasn't as important as Ax's words. If he wants me to stay, then I will stay. I had a brief thought that I wouldn't stay for anyone else. But Ax is special. He never asks me to do stuff for him, remaining neutral no matter what. But now he's asking me to stay. I can finally do something for him.

I absently brush away his tears.

To my surprise, he began singing. Softly, clumsily, as if he's heard the song but has never sung it himself. ~From my side of the world~you were already gone~gradually building up to a farewell song~

A tinge of memory. I knew this. My eye teared up as Ax stumbled through the lyrics. I joined in slowly "I let it last~and gave it everything I had~but tenacity was something you couldn't see in me~"

~"We're sailing towards different seas~and you're faster than I ever could be~you set your sights on something~something so much better than me~"~ We sang together. I relaxed. I knew this. I felt…happy? A sort of bubbly feeling at the thought that Ax knew the words. He listened to my songs and he learned the words for me…

We sang together for a long time.

---

It took me eons to come back to myself. My memories came back like watching a videotape, all out of order. I was quite upset at everything I had to relearn about who and what I was. Who and what I am. 200 billion+ years of memories returning to me after 200 billion+ years. Why did it take so long? Why was it so difficult to pull myself back together?

I was also furious at the man who put me in this situation. At least until I realized he killed himself to free me from the binding. In the end, he valued my mind more than his own life.

How foolish.

How absolutely foolish.

The more I remembered, the angrier I got. I raged and screamed. Ax patiently put up with my terrible mood. He held me when my anger ran out and despair took over. I had been forced to relive everything all over again. My birth, my death, my rebirth, Will's death. I cried for a few centuries straight.

I missed my friends. I wanted to go home. But I can't go back to them like this. Not when I'm such a mess. I cried into Ax's arms and tried to ignore my loneliness. How can I be lonely when Ax was right here? He was helping me and all I wanted was to go back and play with my friends like some sort of ungrateful little bitch. Ax was even preventing any summonings from Time Baby while I was recovering. The Space between Spaces was disconnected from Time so that we could be alone and unbothered.

-You're wrong- he informed me. -You are not being ungrateful. You are being upset. There's nothing wrong with that-

"I still feel like an ass." I mutter as I leaned against his face.

-Once you feel like you are ready to return to them, you can. I will not hold you here any longer-

"Do you think I'm ready?" I whisper. I certainly didn't feel ready. He rumbled and stroked my back with a large finger. I relax into his touch. The good thing about a few billion years of cuddles was it had the side effect of making me enjoy cuddles again. At least from Ax, whom I trusted. Jury's still out on whether I'm fully 'cured'.

-I cannot decide that for you-

I knew he was right but I was still upset. I spent a few more years with him before deeming myself as ready as I'll ever be. I carefully placed myself back into the time stream right before my concert. I needed the stress relief. I needed to reorient myself with my life.

As I walked out on stage in Jan's multi-armed form and heard the delighted cheers of my fans I just wanted to scream. The emotions I was getting off these people, these strangers who loved me just because I made their day better with my music...

I wiped a few tears. "Hey everyone! You ready to have a good time?!" I cried into the mic. They cheered loudly. I grinned wide (easily hiding my doubts and fears) and started forming my music bubbles. I'm gonna enjoy myself. I'm gonna move past my latest in a long line of traumas and be happy. I will be happy.

I refuse to accept that I won't.

—