-Grasp the unknowable-

—

Most of my meetings with sentient life didn't go well. No matter how I approached them, they would be frightened or wary. I even tried invisibly helping them with stuff like finding food or keeping them safe from danger to try and build a friendly relationship. Sometimes it worked...until I finally revealed myself to them.

Why does everyone hate me? I haven't killed anyone past that first one. Was I THAT scary looking?

I gazed at my reflection in a pool of water. A shining golden triangle with a single eye, bowtie and top hat. I looked adorable right? Why are they all so scared of me? Do I really have to use a different form to interact with people?

I shifted the particles around myself as I made some alterations. It was no longer my triangle form but something…different. My human form. My true human form.

I looked at my reflection. Where there was once a yellow triangle now floated a small human girl. I kept my clothes yellow, a fluffy sweater poncho long enough to cover my body. Long, straight black hair and eyes. A wide forehead partially hidden behind bangs framing a round face.

I stared for a bit. It's been so long since I've been...myself. The girl I saw in the reflection looked weird. There was a disconnect, like the feeling of ' that can't be me' but it was...that was the real me.

It was a good thing I was alone. I'm sure my newfound instincts would have forced me to kill anyone who saw me break down and cry.

---

The reception I got for my human form helped restore a bit of my faith in the world. The people were kinder. They still found me strange looking but many of them thought I was harmless. My discrete scans of their minds was able to provide me with their language and I heard them say things like "Must have been abandoned for its hideous mutation.", "That child is so small, which tribe do you think it's from?" and "Poor thing has such fragile skin! No scales at all."

It was kind of patronizing but anything was better than abject terror.

I was able to live among the tribe I found for a few days before I decided to leave. Some of their elders were starting to get suspicious of me and I wanted to go before a confrontation occurred.

Blinking back into space I found myself in my triangle form. For a moment, just one moment, I wanted to cry. It passed and I flew off in search of another planet.

---

Sometimes I stare at my own flames and cry.

Sometimes I think about Will and try to vomit.

Sometimes I wished I could.

---

It never changed. No matter how much I tried to be nice and patient, people just…hated me. I gave them rain for their crops and they gave their thanks to another god they believed in. I healed their sick and injured and they simply shunned the ones I healed and called them 'cursed'. I tried granting them knowledge about farming tools and crop rotation. They refused to listen to me and I had to watch as their crops failed under poor management, listen to them curse my name as their people starved.

It wasn't my fault. I was just trying to help. Why won't they just…listen to me? Why won't anyone just…let me help them? It was frustrating. It was infuriating. I raged angrily in an empty corner of the multiverse, setting fires and screaming about how unfair everything was. Then I go to Ax and cry into his side. I don't know how much of this I can take.

Ok, it's fine. I can fix this…somehow. If people are intimidated by me just showing up before them, maybe I can just give out the knowledge for my summoning. Then only the people who WANT to see me can call me up. That way at least I know they're more willing to listen to me, since they're seeking me out.

I scribble down a summoning circle, Bill's circle. I don't really remember what order the symbols came in but it didn't matter, it's all about intent after all. It felt nice to have the Zodiac made. It made me feel…complete in some way. It was strange but I tried to hold onto the hope that I can finally help SOMEONE.

What's the point of having my powers if I can't do something good with them?

—

It was time. I couldn't keep putting this off. I had to go to the Nightmare Realm. It was 'my' territory. I should at least go check it out.

Sliding through time and space, my flat metaphysical form cleaving right between the dimensions, I opened my eye to see a colorful whirl of void. How a void can have color I don't think I can understand right now but regardless.

I floated there, just watching. Well this was a let down. I was expecting something more...intense. I reached out to touch the swirling colors. 'fear' 'joy' 'exhaustion' 'worry' 'bashfulness'

Oh. They were emotions.

As I inspected these swirling emotions around me I almost didn't notice when they began seeping into me.

"Ack! What the fuck!?!" I backed away, slapping at my bricks, but just managed to get caught in another haze of color. The emotions were gravitating towards me. I frantically waved my arms but my fingers slide right through the mists of color and they continued to slide inside me. They seeped through the seams in my bricks and I giggled.

It tickled. No seriously, it did. I giggled and tried to back away. Please stop! I hate being tickled. The colors continued to slide between my seams, wriggling inside me maddeningly. "Ah haha-stop! Ha haha hahaha!!"

I flew around trying to escape the mist. "I SAID STOP!!" I screeched and blasted the area with flame. That got it to back off. The mist swirled around and settled.

As my flames touched them, they started to change. The clouds of color solidifying under the heat, compressing together and forming...land mass? I blinked in surprise at the floating patches of rock and dirt that were forming as my fire seared through the colors.

Everywhere my fire touched would turn into...stuff. The world was being created from my flames, as opposed to being destroyed by it. I watched in awe as the world, MY world spread out around me. A twisted landscape floating in a void. The land grew with no care for how land should look.

A mountain forms facing upside down. A lake with half its water turning into jellyfish that float up and away into a non-existent sky. Trees grew with unnaturally straight, right angles and leaves made of hair. A slimy pus-like substance leaked from some rocks and grew mouths and claws. A twisted tower of steel arching up impossibly high until I loose sight of the top.

This was the foam between dimensions. A weird world being created from my energy. It was...odd. I was unsure how to feel about it. I could also feel how unstable it was. It was nebulous, shifting and rotting away back into the void once my flames no longer fueled it. It could only hold its form so long as I continued to feed myself into it.

Energy to create matter and a quick progression towards entropy as my energy fans out and spreads too far. Spreads too thin. Dispersed in a way that left this world cold and barren once more. Lifeless.

It was upsetting to watch. The trees withered. The jellyfish fell from the skies and splattered upon the rocks. The mountain stayed but all life upon it dried up and crumbled into dust. The dark iron spire groaned as it swayed lightly. The half formed slime creature wheezed its last breath before collapsing and decaying. Aside from the sounds of things falling apart it was eerily quiet.

This was not a good place to be. This...lifeless mess of a world. There's no way anyone or anything would be able to live here without me constantly feeding my own energy into it. I COULD do so, but that would mean I would be stuck here. Unable to leave so long as I wished for this place to live.

I didn't want that. The idea of being trapped in this constantly rotting world made me upset in a way I didn't imagine possible. Was there some way to keep my flame burning? To stop it from dispersing into nothingness once this world devours the energy?

It didn't have to be my fire. I've got more powers right? If I could just make an enclosed area where my power STAYED and didn't just disperse...like a....bubble or something...

I snapped my fingers. Then tried again. Looks like I'm still unable to make the snapping noise. Oh come on! Oh ALL things I had to keep from my first life it was THIS?! I ineffectually flicked my fingers over and over, trying to make that snap sound before giving up and just moving on.

I flicked my fingers and made a colorful orb appear. Well, less appear so much as I mentally grabbed onto some of the swirling emotions around me and wrapped them around my power. I created a thin bubble-like formation. It floated there, empty and hollow. I hadn't really been focused on filling this bubble with anything.

I let go of the bubble and it held. I moved a little further away. It held. I went back up to it and pushed it carefully to the side of the gelatinous lake. The bubble sank into the lake and I watched as the water began to move again. It fluttered and grew into more jellyfish. Ok. This works. I let go and floated away. Still holding.

After waiting a bit to see if this was really working I sighed in relief as the happy little jellyfish floated around without any signs of dying. Ok. So this was one solution. I noticed the bubble slowly shrinking. Oh no. I reached out to feed more of my power into it. It puffed out back to its original size but would slowly deflate over time once I let go.

So it's not a perfect solution. But it disperses much slower than just pure flame. That's good to know. So I can make a large bubble to create a real place to live. As long as I remember to drop by and recharge it every now and then it could actually work. It'll be like recharging my fridge back in the Flatlands. No biggie. I instinctively ignored the twinge of pain at the reminder of my homeland.

Actually. This wasn't all that bad. Sure I probably can't invite anyone to live here but this was MY world. My...home...

I'm unsure how to feel about that thought. I haven't had a home in so long. My Tabibito lifestyle wasn't...bad per say but it would be nice to have somewhere I can actually go home to. A place to relax and unwind. Somewhere I can personalize and store cool knick-knacks I find during my travels. Yeah. I can do this. I can build a place here. Just for me.

A place to call home.

----

A huge bubble stretched as far as the eye can see, well, MY eye anyway. Which is pretty far. I was hoping that making the bubble as large as I can would give me more time to check back in on it. So far it seems to be working. The area inside my bubble was large enough to hold an entire mountain range, a waterfall, a forest and a cosy little wooden house I've been working on for a while.

The outside was just a crude log cabin, looking more like toy bricks than a real house. But the door works and the inside looked like a real house. I can alter the rooms as I want and wasted hours just building rooms and adding furniture. The Sims music started playing at some point and I wasn't sure if I should laugh or curse the fact that my imagination altered reality around here. As I placed another chair and heard a $cha-ching$ noise I realized I had to stop. I've been spending way too much time on this.

If only the universe could see me now. The feared One Eyed Beast picking out wallpaper.

I decided on cherry blossoms like Weeb I am.

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