19 Feeling

Preview : She looks at herself in the mirror. Convinced that Dana was still with her. Everything will be fine.

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Jani opened her eyes slowly, then stretched her body while yawning. The girl blinked as she looked out the window. Wait, the room? Jani suddenly got up and sat down, remembering what happened last night. Wasn't she last night on the sofa in front of the TV reading a novel? After that she felt sleepy and somehow she seemed to fall asleep. Then, is she sleepwalking? She doesn't think she ever sleepwalked.

Jani decided to get out of bed. She made the bed then headed for the bathroom to take a shower. As was her daily routine, Jani rushed to make breakfast for her and Dana. She was just about to open the door when her phone suddenly rang. An incoming message from Rangga. He said that he offered her a ride to her office which was in the same direction. Jani immediately replied that today she was going to the office with a friend. Jani feels uncomfortable with Rangga lately. She doesn't know why this man made her uncomfortable.

Jani rushed to the kitchen, she found her food last night in the refrigerator and no one ate it. Ah yeah! she even forgot that she didn't eat last night. No wonder she was hungry now. Jani tasted vegetables and fish last night, when she felt it was still very suitable to eat, Jani immediately heated it. She will bring these two servings of vegetables and fish to the office to eat with Rena at lunch. After she finished, she immediately made breakfast. Two egg sandwiches with coffee for Dana and a glass of warm milk for her, Jani sat up quickly and took her cell phone from her bag. She checked the message from Rangga which turned out to be not as stubborn as Jani imagined.

When Jani put in her phone, Dana had already walked out of his room. Jani didn't wake Dana that morning because she was afraid that Dana would yell at her again, Dana had given her a warning. Jani doesn't know why her boyfriend doesn't want her to come into his room. Jani didn't want to imagine things that would make her feel uneasy. Just like this and she gave thanks.

"We can go together, can't we?" asked Jani.

It's natural for a lover to want to be escorted to the office. Moreover, during this time Jani rarely asked to be taken to the office by Dana. However, this time let Jani ask because she was lazy to go alone.

"Eumm… sorry I think I can't to take you with me. You're going by yourself, aren't you?" Dana's answer suddenly made Jani disappointed.

It was a shame that she had asked to go to her office with her lover but was refused like this. "Okay," Jani forced a smile then immediately ate her breakfast.

"Ah, last night I put the food in the refrigerator. Sorry I had dinner last night and forgot to tell you," Dana smiled uncomfortably.

Jani then remembered something, "it's okay. You carried me to the room?"

Dana nodded his head as he chewed on his sandwich.

"Thank you," Jani said sincerely and touched.

Once again Dana nodded his head in response. Jani began to memorize Dana's habit of not speaking when his mouth was still full of food.

***

Jani is annoyed by Arga. Why did the man have to ask for her packed meal when Rena refused because she had brought her own lunch. It was Jani's fault for not telling Rena first. Instead of being stingy, Jani was just lazy because she had to have lunch with Arga like this.

Rena never had a problem with Arga sitting at the table with them. But not with Jani after Arga confessed that he liked her. Several times Arga sent her messages just asking what she was doing or had she eaten yet. Jani responded to the message modestly, considering that after all, Arga was the main director of his company.

Coming home from work, Jani had to bend her face because she have to go home with Arga. After the man forced her of course. If only she didn't have to work overtime until 9 pm and if only it didn't rain heavily.

The employees who worked overtime with her had gone home first. Jani forgets that the cellphone battery hasn't been charged all day. As a result, when she was in the lobby to order a taxi online, her cellphone battery lasted only a few minutes and died before she could press "book now" on the application.

She cursed her fate. She and Arga were both silent. Arga tries to open a conversation with Jani so that the atmosphere in his car is not as awkward as it is now.

"Are you okay with me taking you home? I'm afraid your boyfriend is angry."

Jani is really fed up with the pleasantries of men like Arga.

She said it was very weightless. "It's okay." Silence.

"Would you like to come with me tomorrow at our office anniversary? I'll pick you up, okay?" Arga offers.

"Actually, I didn't know if I would come or not, because there was another event. Maybe if I have time, I'll just go to the office event," Jani answered plainly.

She remembered that it was Dana's birthday.

"Okay, but if you change your mind you can text me," Arga smiled.

Jani just nodded and replied 'okay'. Actually Arga is very kind, maybe if Jani doesn't have Dana she will try to open her heart to Arga. It's just that she's with Dana now and she doesn't like Arga so openly approaching her. Not the type, but for certain conditions it can be tried, Jani thought.

Jani sighed wearily. Dana returned overtime apparently because the apartment was still pitch black. She immediately turned on all the lights and went into her room. Before taking a shower she checked her cellphone. No messages from Dana. In fact, her text was also not answered. The last time Dana texted her was in the morning when she tried to cheer him up and only got a smiley emoticon.

Jani re-typed a message to Dana. She asked if Dana had eaten or not. Then Jani went into the bathroom to clean her sticky body. She looked at herself in the mirror. Convinced that Dana was still with her. Everything will be fine. For some reason, since morning Jani felt uneasy. If she thought it had been two days Dana hadn't let her know about him. Trying to think of positive things seems the same. Because Dana didn't even talk about what time he came home last night. Jani hoped that Dana wasn't hiding something from her.

The assumption that Jani's brain creates makes everything Jani does seem in vain. Maybe Dana was just playing with her, maybe Dana already had other girls and more. Jani's head suddenly felt heavy. She was thinking too much about Dana. She could only guess because Dana would never open up to her. She was reluctant to ask after the incident she was sick and Dana had ignored her for a while.

Tonight, Jani repeated the previous night, cooking and waiting for Dana to fall asleep. Jani didn't have time to eat because her appetite suddenly disappeared when she found a photo that was kept in a novel belonging to Dana.

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