39 Too Much

The lunch bell rang, and I refused to look behind me as I sat still.

Ryuu came in today, after all.

"You doing anything new today?" Akira asked a little after the bell rang. "You gonna try lunch with the Dragon again?"

"Uh, well, he said he didn't want to, so..." I awkwardly looked out the window.

He did say he was done with my plan, so I'm not wrong, I think.

"So, we having lunch here as usual?"

"Yeah." I nodded.

As I pulled out my lunch, the classroom chatter hushed, and next thing I know, a shadow was looming over me.

Oh, I guess not.

"Let's go." The familiar deep voice, once attractive to me, now gives my heart palpatations.

"O-Okay." I couldn't stop the tremble in my voice.

I bit my cheek.

Calm down. You needed to confront him one day. That one day just happened to be today.

"We're going out again?" I looked up at Akira when he asked. He met my eyes and nodded. I almost teared up.

Akira! My boy!

"..." Ryuu's silence was a resounding show of his displeasure. His glare at Akira also promised pain.

"O-Or maybe not?" Akira was sweating as he worked hard to keep up a polite smile.

Now, I wanted to tear up for a different reason.

Akira! No! Don't abandon me!!

Ryuu's glare lightened up before he turned to me.

"Ready?" He asked, any trace of anger gone.

"Uh, yeah. L-Let's go." I mentally braced myself and stood up.

"Woah, what happened?"

"Suzuki-kun doesn't look alright."

"Didn't he invite the Dragon last time? Why's he scared now?"

"I can't believe the Raging Dragon asked someone to have lunch together!"

"I don't think that counts as asking..."

"Did you see the way he glared at Akira-kun when he butted in?"

"Aki-kun! Don't get hurt!"

"Just what is their relationship?"

"Told you he's the Dragon's bitch."

AHHHH! Shut up, you gossipers!!!

My fear of Ryuu subsided a little and was replaced with irritation at the onlookers instead. I wanted to slam the door shut, but Ryuu was behind me.

*BAM*

...

Oh, he slammed the door.

I had to look back to see if he managed to crack the door or wall.

Nope, still in tact, surprisingly.

"Come on." Ryuu said as he grabbed my wrist and started dragging me.

"Woah! C-Could you slow down?" I asked as I tried my best to not trip behind his rapid, long strides.

Please consider our height and stamina differences, thank you!

"Oh, sorry." Ryuu immediately apologized and slowed down.

"It's okay." I avoided meeting his eyes.

Gah, so awkward.

After a few minutes, we arrived.

I blinked, forgetting who I was with.

"Isn't this place off limits?" I asked as I looked around.

"Probably." Ryuu vaguely answered from somewhere behind me.

I ignored him for the moment as I walked to the guard railing to get a better view.

We were on the rooftop! The cliche place a high school manga or anime always has! This was never in the game!

"Wowwww~" I was in awe at the view.

The whole school grounds were visible! In the distance, I could even see central Tokyo! As someone who was never experience a view like this, this was mind blowing!

No wonder the rooftop was always used. The atmosphere is just amazing!

"Is it really that great?" I jumped when I heard his voice from above.

Uhm, when did you get so close? You're basically pressing your chest against my back?! How did I not notice your arms on either side of me, trapping me between you and the railing?! This is almost like a back hug!

"U-Uh, yeah. I-I've never seen s-something like this." I quietly answered while my heart pounded loudly.

I gripped the railing hard.

I can't tell if it's beating from fear or something else.

"Mm, then we should come here often." I could basically feel the vibrations from his chest as he spoke.

Dammit! Why am I getting so flustered?! This dude already flipped out on me before! Stop racing you janky heart! Shouldn't you be scared!?

My janky heart then almost yeeted itself out of my chest when Ryuu decided to lean down far enough to rest his chin on top of my head.

WAHHH-

"H-Hey, Ryuu-kun, I need to s-speak with you." I forced myself to say with a smile that hid my chaotic state of mind.

"Okay." Ryuu plainly answered, not moving.

My eye twitched.

"Can we talk face to face? It's important." I clarified with my patience running out.

"Oh." Ryuu sounded reluctant, but he backed off.

I took a deep breath to calm my frantic heart before turning around and looking up to finally meet his eyes for the first since that incident.

Ryuu's gray eyes didn't hold a hint of the insanity I saw last time. They were clear and held soft affection. It was reassuring but also not.

I gulped.

"Ryuu-kun, we're f-friends, right?" I started off simple.

"Of course." Ryuu answered without a second thought.

"That's all, right?" I asked nervously.

Ryuu's eyebrows scrunched together, obviously confused as to why I was asking that, but he nodded nonetheless.

Okay. So, I was right. I can't be certain he doesn't like-like me, but I know, in his brain, I am currently classified as a friend. That's good.

"You remember our talk about love from before." I brought up cautiously.

"Mhm." Ryuu clearly didn't know where I was going but listened intently.

"Well, after last time, I thought I should mention that it applies to friends, too." I awkwardly muttered.

"What?" Ryuu was seriously puzzled.

"So, like, I said something about how you shouldn't hurt your loved one, right? T-That means you shouldn't hurt your friends, too. I-I mean, you love your friends, too! Love isn't just romantic." I messily rambled.

Ah, shit! I'm panicking!

"Then, what's the difference?" Ryuu asked with a frown.

"Oh, uh, well, I said couples like to k-kiss and stuff, right? Well, that's what you would do with a girl you really like. Friends don't want to kiss each other and only like spending time with each other." I could feel my brain malfunctioning as we go on.

"But, what if you want to kiss a guy?"

FUCK! Nonononononononono. No! You can not be having those kind of thoughts! If you do, I can only think it's because of me!!!

"Uhmmm." I sweated as I racked my few remaining brain cells for words. "Doesn't that seem disgusting to you?"

I'm sorry, gays!! I don't mean it!!! 

"Disgusting?" Ryuu seemed taken aback and... hurt?

"Y-Yeah! Most people would hate to kiss someone of the same gender, especially guys." I rubbed the back of my neck anxiously.

"Do you?" Ryuu asked while closing in. I reflexively took a step back, only to run into the railing.

Fuck fuckity fuck fuck! Shit!

"Well, Haruka?" Ryuu once again had me pinned to the railing, but this time we were facing each other. He also did, indeed, press his body against mine.

I think my last brain cell burnt up from the heat of blood rushing to my head.

"U-Uhm, w-well, I-I, I think I-I wouldn't l-like it." I somehow answered, even though I'm overloading.

Other than answering, I was confused on where my hands should go? I kinda put them up when he closed in out of defense, so now I can't put them by my side. I awkwardly have them clenched and pressed against my chest, but since Ryuu was so close, they were currently also pressed against his abs!

They were so hard? Are abs suppose to be that hard? I kinda want to poke them? I wonder what they look like?

There should've been summer CGs!

"You think?" I barely heard Ryuu with all the blood and thoughts rushing through my head.

"Y-Yeah." If I was to be drawn in a manga panel right now, I'd definitely have swirls for eyes and smoke coming from my ears. Of course, my face would also be covered in blush lines and darkened.

"Why is this the only time you can't give me straight answer?" I started shaking when he growled that against my ear.

Haha, "straight," even though you're acting pretty bent. lol

...I'm losing it if that's what my brain took from that.

"I-It's because y-you're using y-your body!" I frantically yelled in panic.

"My body?"

"Yes! I-It's not fair!" I wanted to cover my face with my hands in shame.

What's happening to me!?!?!?!

"Does that mean you're like this because of this?" He pressed against me even harder.

AHHHH!!! YOUR CROTCH, SIR!!! YOUR CROTCH!!!! IT IS TOUCHING MEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

I squeezed my eyes shut and whimpered.

THIS IS TOO MUCH STIMULATION FOR A VIRGIN LIKE ME!!!! STOP!!!!!!!

"Haruka." I opened my eyes when I felt his hand lift my chin up.

My eyes widened when I saw how close his face was. I could feel his breath on my lips.

"Fuck."

That was the last thing I said before passing out.