Chapter 19 - Shivers...

Selena's POV:

My senses pick up motioning. I’m in a car. I don’t know what happened.

I had a nightmare. The Eric guy from this morning’s meeting forced me to marry him… Bank… Yeah… Bank sent notice to seize the house… Racing… Someone followed me… My mouth is so dry, I can’t open my eyes yet. Why am I in a car? Am I driving? Still dreaming?

“Justin? Call the nearest hospital! Sent you coordinates of my route! Send Selena’s medical files there! She fainted and I think it’s because of her medical condition!” I hear this strong voice that has my chest clenching and blood boiling. I begin coming back to my senses and trying to open my eyes. At least one I’m trying. I can’t move. I can’t feel my body to control it.

A big, male hand is feeling my face. It’s so warm. I’m cold. My breath begins regulating itself a bit.

“Selena? Baby? Are you OK? Please. Open your eyes. Don’t make me like this…”

This is… This is… Eric?! Not dreaming?!

Everything comes back to me. I remember everything. It wasn’t a nightmare. I fainted after this fucker forced himself on me as if I were a whore! My eyes fly wide open, but the clench on my chest is tightening. I place my hand on it and press it with a labored breathing. My mouth is filling with water.

“Eric! Stop the car! Now!”

I can’t… I can’t...

“Baby? I’m taking you to the hospital.” He seems sincere, worrying, but I don’t have time for that.

“Pull over! Stop the fucking car! Now! Listen to me! Please! Stop the car!” I’m hyperventilating and trying to hold it in. He listens and stops it, with a squealing break on the side of the road.

I fight the fucking seatbelt to take it off me, open the door and get down. My knees break when I’m at about five feet away from the car and fall on all fours, throwing up.

I don’t have much to throw up. I only had a medium length banana and a small green apple for breakfast, coffee at the coffee shop in New York, the bread from lunch and the coffee from the afternoon. That’s about all. I still have the vomiting wave, but nothing comes out, just saliva. I hate my life. Eric has come in a hurry after me and is keeping my forehead tight and my hair out of my face, kneeling beside me.

My body is shaken. My spine is crawled with icy shivers, my hands are cold as if I’m having them in a bucket of ice. I feel like shit. Eric gives me a handkerchief. I take it and wipe my mouth with it. I’m not able to stand up. I don’t need motion anyway. I need to sit like this for a few moments. I’ve taken in too much lately. The stress is hitting me and damages my diabetes.

“Eric?” I can’t speak long. My lips are trembling.

“Yes, Angel? Are you feeling better now?” He’s rubbing my back.

“Not really. But I’m used to it. Please. Go in the car and bring me Pepsi. Purse. Now. Please.” Tears snake down my cheeks, but in silence.

“I’ll take you back to the car, baby. It’s cold on the ground.” He wants to take me from the ground in his arms, but if he does that, I’ll be sick. I don’t want to move yet.

“Go. Do. What. I. Said. Please. Don’t. Move. Me.” I can’t speak.

“OK. I’ll be fast.” He takes off his suit jacket and places it on my back and shoulders and goes to the car. He took mine. I suppose he didn’t waste time to help me.

“Here, baby.” He gives me the Pepsi I had in the car. I take a sip, trembling, clean my mouth and then spit it. I have an iron taste in my mouth. I drink some in small doses. He gives me my purse. My hands are shaking. I’m now sitting on the ground, on my knees. He rubs my back and my arms to give me warmth. My fucking head is spinning…

“Eric? Stop. Thank you.” I search for my insulin pen. I take it out, roll the dosage and prepare for a shot. I reveal my belly and try to do it, but my hands are shaking too much. “Fuck! I’m so fucked!” I start crying, trying to put the damn needle in my fucking belly, but if I don’t do it right, I might hurt myself.

“Let me do it. Tell me how. Calm down. Please.” Eric has such a hurt expression. I can see it between my tears.

This is the wife you’ve got, stupid. I’m not fucking normal. In any way. Nobody knows my real life. Just me and my parents. The rest just have an idea of it.

“Just keep my hand steady, if you can.” I sob. “I have high blood sugar levels.” I forgot again to take my insulin shot on time. It needed to be done at 8 pm.

“OK, baby. Calm down. Breathe. OK, love?” I nod my head. I’m so hopeless right now. I hate it so much when I have such episodes. And now I have it in front of him. The one I hate and makes me angry, exposing my weaknesses. Great. It doesn’t matter anymore. Let him see it all. Maybe he’ll finally realize he doesn’t want me before it’s too late.

He takes my hand with his, giving me warmth on mine, and I guide him to take the shot. We finally do it. I press the top of the pen and release the insulin, keep it inside for 15 seconds and then take it out. Before making the shot, he has placed himself behind my back, on his knees, to have same position as mine. Now he’s holding me while I’m closing the pen, put it back in its cloth and then in my purse.

“I’m sorry, baby… I put you through too much, today… I’m sorry…” His face is on the side of my neck, on my right shoulder. His body is warming my back. If I weren’t in this state, I would have punched and trashed him on the ground for everything. But I feel comfort and healing from this. It helps me gain some strength. I allow his actions and keep silent with my eyes closed. I tremble visibly.

Three cars packed with his bodyguards arrive and an ambulance. The one he calls Justin arrives with paramedics. He’s flushed when he sees me on the ground. The paramedics ask me the usual questions.

“Don’t worry. I’m fine. I’m a diabetic. It’s normal. I had too much stress lately. I don’t need to go to the hospital. I’ve missed my 8 pm insulin shot. I took it now. I’ll be fine.” I inform the paramedics as I try and finally succeed to get on my feet, helped by Eric, who doesn’t let go of me. They still check my vitals and take a glucose test. It’s 500 mg/dl. My blood sugar levels that is. I knew it is high. They freak out and insist in me going to the hospital.

“Baby, please, let’s go to the hospital. Please. Don’t break me.” I look into his eyes and see such sadness.

Are you happy now, bastard? Didn’t I tell you that what you want with what you’ll have, don’t match? Why didn’t you listen to me and listened to your fucking dick?

I take myself from his arms. The insulin is doing its job to decrease my blood sugar levels.

“I’m fine. Give me the papers to sign my refusal for going to the hospital. I had a stressful period. I haven’t slept at night. It’s normal I have this state. I’ve pushed my body over its limits. I just need rest.” Eric is shocked, Justin guy wants to say something but keeps silent, the paramedics have a failed attempt to persuade me, and then I sign the papers.

“Selena? Why? You’re not feeling well. Please, baby, please.” Eric continues to make me go.

“Shut it. I’m my own owner. I get to decide what I do with my life. You have no right. I’m not mentally unstable to need a guardian. I’m in full mental capacities.” I leave him with a why-do-you-torture-me expression, thank the paramedics, and go to my car. I sit on the passenger’s seat. I’m clearly not able to drive. So, I’ll have to accept the bastard to do it. I’ve gained my strength at some degree, yet I continue to tremble. I tighten his suit jacket around me to lessen the cold and shivers I have.

Oh, I’m so perfect… Yeah… It gets better and better… Fucking fuck…

Eric comes in the car. I think he stares at me for a few good moments and then starts the car. I’m preoccupied with getting control over my body and my glare is on the floor.

I don’t know how long it has taken to reach his house. When he stops the engine, he puts the back of his fingers on my left cheek. I draw back, though they are warm.

“Baby… Stop rejecting me. I’m honest with you. I’m not playing. Why don’t you want to understand that?” He has a soft voice.

Get the fuck out of here…

I turn my eyes at him.

“In one day? Do you want me to believe your sincerity in one day? I don’t believe in Don’s whom I know for the last 20 years. There is nothing I don’t know about him. I don’t trust you. No sane person, woman, would trust in someone after one day. Considering all you did you can’t be trusted. I’m no stupid person, and definitely not one guided by instincts to be fooled. I thank you for the last part. Honestly. Thank you. But for the rest, don’t expect anything.” I open the door and get down, shaking. You have no idea how it is for someone like me to be able to feel the ground under my feet. It means you are controlling over your body. I walk to the entrance. I hear the cars arriving and parking.

Before reaching the door, I’m lifted into air and see myself in Eric’s arms. My heart stops for a second due to scare, not because I am impressed. Don’t judge me! I don’t want to fall for anyone! Especially for him! That’s final!

“Eric! Put me down! Now!” I start fidgeting into his arms.

“Shut it. I’m my own owner. I get to decide what I do with my life. You have no right. I’m not mentally unstable to need a guardian. I’m in full mental capacities. So, you have no say in this.” He smirks and winks at me, leaving me with my jaw dropped.

No, he didn’t! He’s just used my line to get back at me with this? Oh! I’ll kill him! You mock me now?! Son of a bitch!

“Put me down, Eric! I’ll smash your face!” He puts me on the bed. Don’t know when we’ve reached the bedroom.

“As per my Queen’s orders.” He smirks again.

“Satan!” I fire him with my glare.

“I bought you clothes and everything you would need. You can change if you want.” He has that lustful look on his face.

I hate him!

“I don’t want to change into anything! Just get out! Now!” I’m hysterical.

“You don’t want to change? Fine by me.” He starts unbuttoning his shirt.

“What are you doing? I said get out!”

Are you insane?!

“Stripping.” He chuckles.

“What for?” I’m shocked at his action.

Don’t you fucking joke with me!

“To go in bed.”

I swear to God! He’s the Devil!

“Which bed?”

I’ll kill him if he says on this one!

“In the one my beautiful wife is.” He winks at me. I grab something from the nightstand, something heavy, I don’t know what that is, and throw it at him. He starts crazy laughing. He has ducked it. Of course, he did.

Bastard!

“Get the fuck out! Now! I can’t stand you! Out!” I take his jacket off me and throw it into his direction. He just laughs with watery eyes. He’s so amused. I’m shaking because of my state and now because of anger, too.

“We’re married, baby. I’m your owner. I get to do what I want with you.”

Owner? Owner?! The fuck you said that! Demon!

“GET OUT! RIGHT NOW! I’LL LIVE ONE SECOND AFTER YOU, BUT I’LL STILL KILL YOU FIRST! OUT!” I’m a screaming monster.

“Baby. Chill. You’re in no state to get angry. Please.” He must see a change on my face as he becomes serious.

“And who’s responsible for my reactions?! You just stay there and rock my nerves! I fucking worked on your project for one week straight! Sleeping in seven days only five hours gathered! You throw yourself with your feet in my life and in one day you almost sent me to the emergency room! And I don’t get to be angry?! You son of a bitch! OUT! No man has ever shared a bed with me! And never will! All this? IS MINE! GET OUT!” I motion furiously at the bed and to all I say. I’ve become a devil too. He’s responsible for it!

His jawline gets contracted and he chews from the inner of his left cheek. He has a crazy look at me.

“Fine! I’ll go!” And he goes for the door and slams it shut.

“Finally! Thank you, Satan! And never come back!” I’ve had a nervous breakdown.

He has made me get so angry as I have never been before. He gets that from me without being able to control it. I’m shaking bad right now. My teeth are jiggling, my lips are singing, too, in shivers.

I lay down on the bed and grab, with a trembling hand, the sheets, blanket. I cover myself and curl under them for warmth. I’m unhappy I have no strength to take a shower and change to feel comfortable. I close my eyes and pray that when I’ll open them again, all this becomes a nightmare and leave it behind…