Chapter 16 - Forced And Pained

Selena's POV:

A phone ringing in desperation pulls me out from my sleep. I’ve been dreaming of a man forcing himself on me. I couldn’t escape. I was trapped. I didn’t see his face, but he was big and muscular. The fear of the events that happened in that nightmare is still in my bones. I open my eyes with a dry mouth and a racing heart. It’s dark outside. I look around, not knowing where I am. It takes me a few moments to realize that I’m in my company’s office, on the couch. The phone is ringing again.

I now sit on the couch, having my head on my hands. Dizziness strikes me again. I shake my head and close my eyes, squeezing them. The ringing of my phone on my desk is adding to my tormented mind. I try standing up, but I feel very weak, and fall back on the couch.

“Jesus! Who the fuck is calling? Just stop it already!” Of course, it doesn’t stop. Nothing, ever, goes per my wants. Fucking life.

“I’m coming!” I start speaking like old women do, thinking out loud. Peaches! I must be getting old…

This time, I manage to stand up and walk to my office, dressing up with my jacket. I get shivers down my spine. My eyes go on the phone’s screen.

Dad?

Eight missed phone calls from him. It’s 8 pm.

Hope nothing happened with mom or something.

I call him back as I’ve missed the last call. After one ring, he takes the call. That can’t be good.

“Dad? What happened?”

“Where are you?!” He yells at me. Something he hasn’t done in years.

“In my office. Why?” I’m taken aback by his attitude.

“There is someone here.” He lowers his voice.

“Who?”

I really don’t understand what’s happening…

“A man that is waiting for you. He said something about racing?! Are you out of your mind?! Do you want me to die of a heart attack? I thought we were over drifting races! I don’t want that money, Selena! I want you as safe and sound as you can be, not to come and identify your corpse over the morgue! You kill me! You kill me! It’s all my fault! I know! But you can’t do this to me! Come home! Now!” He doesn’t wait for me to say anything else and hangs up the call.

That fucking Don! You sang on me! Wait till I’ll come home! I’ll smash you!

I call dad back. He answers.

“Dad?”

“Say.” He’s pissed.

“Is that man Don?” I have a submissive voice. It’s dad I’m speaking to.

Whatever he did to us, he’s still my dad and I love him with my life. I would sacrifice all the way for my parents. I would even take a bullet and die in their place. That much I love them. Nothing matters in this world for me more than them. They are my heart, body, and soul. I live for them.

“No.” Straight answer.

“Do we know the man?” I continue asking.

“No.” Straight answer again. “He says he knows you. He has a contract. Me and mom have already read it. Come home. It’s bad.” He sighs.

Contract? What did you do again, dad? The fuck is happening…

“What do you mean? Contract? What contract? What’s its content? What’s his name? From where does he know me? Give me something, dad.” I am panicking inside as I know nothing, and from my father’s voice and attitude, I can feel it’s bad.

“He’s in front of me. You’re on speaker. Before calling you, he said not to tell you his name or the contract’s contents. But he did allow me to tell you he’s the new creditor for our loans and house. He bought everything. He’s waiting for you to come home as soon as possible. He has bodyguards after him. Rings a bell?” I’m all over the place right now. That can’t be happening.

FUCKING FUCK! This day gets shittier by each fucking hour…

“No. I’m not involved with anyone that has bodyguards after him. You know me, dad.” I pause. I can’t think.

I’m so dizzy right now that the entire room is spinning around me. He knows about racing and about me, bought the loans, he’s the new creditor?

Who the fuck is this guy?!

“I know, babes, I know. Just come home. Mom is not feeling good over this.” His voice is dim.

“Dad? Did he do anything to you guys? Tell me.” I start getting adrenaline at this thought as the blood is pumping through my veins.

Say the word and I’ll fucking shoot him when I get home!

“No. He doesn’t seem a bad guy after all.” I trust him on that as I know his voice when something is wrong, even if he doesn’t tell me.

“Give him the phone. I want to speak with him right now.” I get so angry on whoever this man is.

Who the fuck are you?! Man! You’re the last person I needed today!

“Yes.” The man takes the phone. The voice sounds familiar, but not so much.

“Should I call the police?” I say on a dry note, all pissed.

“You can do whatever you want. I’m clean and legal. Not hurting anyone. Just want you to come here and speak. You need to sign a contract. If you know what’s best for you, your parents and your home, you’ll come. If not, I’ll take back the contract, seize the house now, and you can do whatever you want. It’s all on you to decide. Other questions?” He is so calm and domineering.

I’m screwed. Where the fuck should I go and get three million dollars at this hour? If I take the loan from Don, he’ll want me to sleep with him. I can’t do that. I really can’t. FUCK TO THE FUCK! MY FUCKING LIFE!

“From where do you know about me racing?” I have to ask…

“A bird told me.” He chuckles. “Come home. We’ll speak more then. No one is touching your parents. I’m not a bad guy. Just come and we will deal with the contract and all. Drive safe.” He hangs up the call.

WHAT?!

“Who the fuck is this guy?!” I grab my purse and keys and walk out of the office, more like running, as this is some heavy shit, and whatever happens at night is always among the bad stuff out there. In a few minutes, I’m in my car.

This is so bad… I can feel it’s evil stuff… I know I have lots of enemies… But who the fuck is he? I can’t put my finger on it… SHIT!

I don’t know how long it takes to get home, but I know for sure it takes way faster than usual. I fucking drive like I’m on a fucking race. I break in front of my house where there are three cars parked in front of it, with bodyguards alongside. I get down the car, not taking anything from it but my keys. The bodyguards at the gate make room for me to get in.

YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! OH! I’M SO PUMPED ON ADRENALINE RIGHT NOW!

“Is this a murdering case or something that needs so many forces?” I growl at them and storm inside.

I get past Tommy who is meowing at me and I’m finally in the house. I’m so inflamed that I could kill someone.

When I reach the living room area, I see mom and dad on the couch sitting, two other gorillas standing behind one of the armchairs, bodyguards, and when I land my eyes on the towering guy, sitting on it like a lion in its own jungle, I recognize…

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” He smirks at me.

WHAT THE FUCK?!

“Selena! Watch your language!” That’s dad.

I move my stare at him, breathing like a fucking raged bull. He’s worn out. Mom is pale and not looking so good.

Watch my language?!

“Sit down, Selena. Please.” Eric fucker motions at me with his left hand to take a sit on the other armchair.

I already have the iron smell in my nostrils. This means my blood sugar levels are insane.

SIT DOWN?!

“What are you doing here? What’s the meaning of this? What are YOU doing to my parents? At this hour?! Are you out of your mind?!” I motion my hand at him like crazy. “Get out! Now! And take all the gorillas back with you! Now! Don’t look at me like that! It’s my property! I’ll sue the fucking bank for not respecting the notice they’ve just sent! Don’t fuck with me! I don’t care who the fuck you are! I won’t allow you to play with me or my parents! Out!”

I think I have a screaming face that suits my words, but he just sits there, smiling. Unaffected.

Oh! I want to hit that face until you have nothing else to smile with! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!

“Sit and read the contract. Speak afterwards. You have Law school. You’re smart and all. See if it’s legal or not. Then decide.” He doesn’t change his position. Same calmness, same smile.

You have checked my life?! What the fuck do you want from me?!

“Selena, baby, read the contract. I can’t take this anymore.” That’s my mom speaking.

I move my eyes at her. She’s greenish. Shit! Fucking shit! I’m so fucked! Fucking fuck! If my mom dies right now, I so kill him.

I shoot Eric a glare that is like a bazooka, grab the damn contract and read it standing. I can’t sit. If I sit, I might not stand up again.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! WHAT?! WHAT?! HE’S SCREWED IN THE BRAINS!

“Marriage contract?! Are you insane?!”

I continue reading it, having my body in lava, waiting to erupt.

“Go with you right now?! Can’t ever divorce? I don’t care you can’t ever divorce, too, but I would in an instant!”

I don’t take my eyes off the contract and read it further.

“Give me all rights to your wealth as wife? Be a wife in all rights and needs in privacy and public? It is immediately effective after signing?!”

I stop reading it. It’s too much to take for someone like me. I throw it into his direction.

GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

“Why did you stop reading? If you don’t sign it, pack your bags. Everything is mine.” Same calmness. He acts as if the entire Universe is his.

“What did you say?! Pack what?!” I have the urge to make a step towards him and grab him, to beat him up till he passes out. Maybe kill him. I’ll see what I’ll decide. I think I’ve made the step when I hear my dad screaming at me.

“Selena! Sign the contract already!”

In this moment, the house collapses on me. In this moment, my heart stops. In this moment, I get weak knees. Everything stops around me.

What? You’re selling me to him? What? You? My own dad? Why?

I turn my head at him to gasp his being as my being has just been turned upside-down. He’s standing with a mad look at me. He’s selling my ass for money. I put up with everything he's ever done, I covered for him, I worked against everything, I protected him, and he sells me.

Tears cover my cheeks at his sight. The betrayal is so heartbreaking. He did the same to me when we contracted the loans, and with every bad deed he did that I had to correct and put everything back in order. Same expression, same attitude, same words and threatening me he’d divorce mom if I didn’t sign it, and would leave us behind. The history is repeating itself, but now it’s different. He’s selling me as a person.

“What did you say?” I sob, but my voice is booming. “Let me hear it, dad! Say it! Fucking say it!” I can’t see clearly anymore as I have tears flooding my eyes.

“Selena, babes, please.” His voice lowers, but I’m done with him. A father shouldn’t do that to his child. Especially to one that has never done anything to stain his pride, honor, and anything else.

“Dad! You’re saying that I should sell myself to him?! For the house and for the loans? To let him fuck me and do whatever he wants with me?! This is what you are saying?! For once in your life!”

I sob and break into tears…

“Think about my soul, too! How much do you want to take from me?! How much, dad?!”

I scream at him, crying my eyes out.

“I would die for you! I went to fucking New York to work my ass off to contribute to our debts! Do you know I have nights when I collapse on the floor? Do you know how it is to work 72 hours without sleeping?! Do you know how it is when I fucking have this illness on me and still fight it and work so that I can protect you?! And what do you do as a father?! Huh?! Fuck the house! Fuck everything! I’m done! We! Are done! Want to save the house? Fine!”

I go and grab the contract that is now in Eric’s hands. I don’t even look at the bastard, he’s not important anymore.

“Here! You sign it! And you go and fuck him! I’m out!”

And I start to the exit, sobbing and trembling. My heart is in my throat.

I can’t take this shit anymore… I’m so done!

“Selena! You want to be the death of me?” My mom’s weak voice stops my legs from going.

I close my eyes. She’s innocent in all this. She’s a victim too.

God! Why are you doing this to me?! Why?! Why didn’t you take me five years ago?! You let me live for this?!

She starts crying with a decreasing breathing. I can’t take it anymore. I really can’t. It’s too fucking much. The door is in front of me. That door is to make it or break it. My head is spinning. My tears are silently pouring. I have to decide. Either go or go back and sign it. Behind me there’s a death silence, only my mom sobbing that hammers my body into pieces.

I hold my head with both my hands. I try breathing. My chest is crushed like a mountain was thrown on me, a feeling like never before. I don’t even want to know my blood sugar levels. They’ve skyrocketed. That’s clear. The vein on the left side of my neck is clenching and palpitating and my head is squeezing. My hands are cold as if death embraces me and I have shivers down my spine. My heart is drumming heavy metal.

I have nothing against dying right now… The fuck I care… It would fucking finish…

I turn around and look at her. She’s a mess. Another heartbreak on me.

“Mom? Calm down. Please. Your blood pressure will go up. Take a seat. Please.”

Oh! Man! Please, God… Take me and not mom… Fucking fuck…

“Do you want me to leave the house, Selena? I will. I will let everything behind that I worked so damn hard for. I lost everything. It doesn’t matter if I lose this, too. Just tell me what you decide, and I’ll go with you. Just say it! Don’t show me your back! I didn’t almost die to give birth to you and raise you and have all that, to just see your back! Don’t you do this to me! Do you hear me?” She’s crying, her face taking darker shades of green. Those tears are icebergs, crashing into my soul.

My eyes go to where Eric sits. He’s now serious, watching mom. My dad is not looking better than mom, with his head down, staring at the floor, with the contract in his hand. And I feel guilty for all of this. For my parents’ state that is. Not for Eric. I hate him.

“Sit down, mom. You’re not losing anything anymore. I just wish I died five years ago.” I grab the contract from my dad and sit on the armchair, reading it again.

Eric is ignored from my part. He’s non existing to me. I read attentively each line. I can feel Eric’s stare on me. I see with the corner of my right eye that mom is now seated. I finish reading it.

You fucking son of a bitch…

“Is this negotiable?” I ask the bastard, without looking at him. I can’t stand him. I have an arrogant attitude.

“It depends on what you want to negotiate.” He answers after a small delay.

If there were other circumstances, you would have been dead by now… You don’t know the entire me… Oh! I would fucking kill him, if it weren’t for my current state, money problems and mom and dad around…

“Separate rooms. You don’t touch me before a proper wedding. I don’t accept perversions. I’m not a whore.”

I raise my fiery, now read eyes, at him.

“You want me? You don’t know what you want and what you’ll have.” I say between my teeth, all words stressed.

“I’m domineering, I have a bad temper, I don’t like to be touched. I react harsh to orders and rules. I’m a crazy person. All flaws in every woman, are in me. But not the kind men want, the ones they don’t. I can’t have children. I don’t want children. Especially with you. If you ever cheat on me, I’ll cut your balls, then your throat, while you sleep. Your frame does not impress me. I don’t want you. I don’t like you. I’ll never love you. I hate you. You are the death of me. I’m sick all the time. Now, I’ll be sicker because of what you’re doing with this.”

His jawline is contracted and looks at me intently.

“Don’t worry. There’s some good news, too. I won’t live long. I can feel that. Maybe my life will end just in time when you’ll get bored of your insane game and get it over with me.” Silence.

His eyes are locked with mine. I can’t describe his look. It’s a mix of storm, sadness, sparkle and something else that I don’t know or care about. My parents don’t express a word.

We don’t break visual contact for a good few moments, when he speaks.

“Fine. What I agree upon. I don’t touch you until a proper wedding. I had no intention in cheating on you, so that is on as accepted. No perversions. I can deal with your temper and you’ll not die on me. Don’t worry about that. This isn’t a game and I’ll not get bored on being with you. What I don’t agree upon. No separate rooms. You’re going with me right after signing the contract. The contract states that all belongings I own, as creditor, will come back on your name and your parents’ names. I also provide security and all that is needed for my now extended family. All that is mine is yours as well. No questions asked. You have permission to do anything you want with what is mine.” He speaks like a businessman. Not breaking eye contact.

Oh… I’m getting so fucking dizzy… You motherfucker…

“What if I damage your financial situation or something else? I’m on bad things when it comes to you. I don’t even know what I might do to get revenge on you.” I have adrenaline pumping my veins at the ‘revenge’ word.

Don’t worry… It’s a matter of time till I’ll either die, or kill your ass…

“As I said. No questions asked. You’re my wife. You have rights. If it becomes a mess, I’ll clean after you and make things work again. No problem. I possess that capacity.” His attitude airs such confidence that wrecks my nerves. I can’t stand him. “Do we have ourselves a deal now?” He keeps those damned eyes on me, and I feel like I’m signing a blood pact with the Devil.

The nightmare I had earlier, was a premonition for this. He’s the man I dreamed of.

I get a glimpse at my parents. They seem lost and helpless. I turn back to the contract in front of me.

“Not willingly, I have no choice. Never forget that. Give me a fucking pen.” He gets one from his suit jacket.

An expensive piece of art. Who knows the value of the pen I’m holding in my right hand? I don’t care though. I add on the contract the conditions he agrees upon. I put my signature there, and then on every single page of the contracts, alongside his.

“Sign for the additions!”

I throw the pen at him and push both contracts on the table.

He catches the pen with ease, smirking and starts signing.

I would fucking kill you right now! And smash your smirk! God!

“Perfect. You’re mine now.” His eyes are sparkling at me.

He’s the fucking Devil! Satan! Help me, God, not to kill him from his first sleep in same building with me!

I give my piece of contract to dad.

“Here. You keep it.” I’m still upset on him.

I go to my mom and hug her, then kiss her forehead.

“I love you. Never forget that.” A string of crying crawls, but I push it back.

She tightens the grip around me yet has no power to say anything else. I break the embrace in slow movements, brushing her hair with my hand. I want to take her image with me. I love her so much… All this, I’m doing it for her. I know how much she has suffered in her life. This is the last thing I can do for her. I’ll do it for her. I’ve done it for her.

“Let’s go, lunatic! Get your ass out of my armchair and let’s go to your fucking house! You piece of shit!” I say this with my back at him, going to the exit…

I’m so fucking cursed…