Final Test and Captains Meeting

(Dun Scaith, base of the Mountain)

It was the next day and Ichigo was bathing in a lake, washing away the sweat and grime as he waited for Scathach's signal to begin his climb up the mountain for the third and final time. What he seemed to be unaware of was the predator stalking him from above, moving through the forest canopy with the grace of a jungle cat waiting to pounce on the unsuspecting prey. The hunter wasn't foolish and could sense that the intended quarry was on guard, using his other senses to keep watch. He also seemed to be lacking his spear, but the hunter knew better than to underestimate this prey after having seen what he was capable of. The stalking predator held out a tablet with the Isa(ᛁ) rune and tossed it into the water. The moment the tablet touched the water the entire lake froze solid, shocking the hybrid as the hunter made the move.

"You dropped your guard you fool!" Scathach roared as she shot down, thrusting with her spear at her student. Ichigo's response was to manipulate his Reiryouku and the Reishi in the air to form a bident and catch Scathach's spear to deflect it, shattering the ice and freeing him. Taking this chance, Ichigo flashed over to his spear on the lake bed and quickly drew an Othala(ᛟ) rune on the shaft. Scathach summoned a dozen more spears and poised them to skewer the hybrid, holding off due to knowing his speed and waited for the chance to strike. This was their stalemate, standing among broken ice chunks and naked as the day they were born just waiting for the chance to strike. That was when Scathach noticed one crucial detail. "Okay, what the hell Ichigo?"

"What?" The hybrid responded, confused by Scathach's sudden annoyance.

"Here I am, standing bare ass naked, tits on full display, and not once have you actually paid them any attention." She complained, giving Ichigo an odd sense of déjà vu. Like this wasn't the first time that not being a pervert aggravated his teacher.

"Master Scathach, I'm not stupid or naïve enough to get distracted when fighting someone of your caliber. The moment I look away, I could die." He tried explaining in the hope that it would sooth her anger. While she did nod approvingly, Ichigo also noticed her grip on her spear tightening.

"As a warrior, I thank you for your respect of my ability." She said, closing her eyes as more spears appeared and glowed with magical power. "As a teacher, I'm proud of your willpower over your sexual desire. As a woman, I'm a little irritated." She finished before flicking her wrist and shooting five spears at Ichigo that exploded on impact, forcing the hybrid to narrowly dodge but still feel the pressure and power of the attack's aftermath.

'How is not being a horny pervert this insulting?!' He mentally roared to himself as he channeled a Getsuga and drew Haglaz(ᚺ). "Getsuga Tensho!" He roared, firing the enhanced energy wave at Scathach. She easily stopped it with another Isa(ᛁ) and turned in time to block a attack from behind, Ichigo using one of his Zanpakuto which was the main thing she forbade him from using.

"Ichigo." She growled, as more and more spears appeared. "What did I-"

"Shatter, Kyoka Suigetsu." The hybrid interrupted as the blade pulsed in his hand, making Scathach realize the real aim of him using the sword. She was given the basics of Ichigo's abilities during the Quincy War and was aware of how dangerous Kyoka Suigetsu could be in the hands of a master. While him using the Zanpakuto itself was against the rules she gave him she wouldn't punish him for understanding that in a true fight, whether for survival or just plain combat, the only rules are the ones people impose on themselves. If it gave him an advantage in fighting her, he should and has used it.

"I'm going to make you pay for that Ich-" She started but stopped when she noticed that she was surrounded by copies of the hybrid. "Entertain me and I might forgive this." She said with a savage grin before the others attacked her, each one fighting with the same strength and speed as the real Ichigo. Her mastery of the weapon and her instincts from endless fights still gave her an edge in the storm of thrusts and slashes the doppelgangers sent her way. She was so lost in the dance of death she was involved with that she failed to notice that not one of the copies were using anything other than the weapons in their hands, at least until she felt the heat from above. The many Ichigo's faded away, revealing Reishi construct spears in the form of the Gae Bolg Ichigo was using held by hundreds of spirit threads before they disappeared as well, leaving Scathach directly underneath the intense burning of the fireball Ichigo threw at her from above.

"Jokaku Enjo." Ichigo said, ending the power of Kagutsuchi that burned through the spear and engulfed Scathach in hollow ball of fire. "That should hold you." The hybrid continued as he landed some distance away from the fire, the ice of the lake melting and evaporating from the heat. "At least until I'm halfway up the mountain anyway." He turned to leave when Scathach made an announcement.

"It's open season on the strawberry! Anyone that kills him is permitted to escape the Shadowlands!" She shouted with a magically enhanced voice that reverberated throughout the realm. Ichigo could sense the coming horde of beasts and monsters, all thirsting for his blood.

"Shit."

(Meanwhile, back in the Soul Society)

"Calling this meeting to order." Head Captain Shunsui Kyoraku said as the head of two lines of men and women in white Haori numbering from his one to fourteen and three more monitors showing three more faces. "First of all, Juushiro Ukitake has announced his intention to fully cede command of Squad 13 to Rukia Kurosaki in the next two to three years as he trains her to be his successor. After which he'll move on to the diplomacy of the civilian sector." The assembled captains gave a polite applause to the long white haired and frail looking man, now needing a cane to walk around since his body was originally a vessel for the Soul King's right hand, something was otherwise lethal had no one gotten to him in time.

"It would probably be sooner, but considering her current pregnancy I think that should be extended a little further." Ukitake amended. "More like five years."

"To give her time to be a mother or because you think you'll end up spoiling the kid at every possible moment?" Shunsui added, knowing his friend's fondness for children. Juushiro let out a small laugh, knowing he'd been caught. "Speaking of future mothers, Yoruichi Shihouin intends to have her lieutenant Marechiyo Omaeda take over most of the official duties of her squad while she trains her brother Yuushiro to become the next captain and goes on her own maternity leave."

"He's already a very skilled combatant, but quite undisciplined." Yoruichi told them. "I'm gonna need that time to drill responsibility into his head."

"Hope he's not a masochist cause he'll probably spend most of that time trying to cling onto you." The Captain Commander joked, earning some snickers from the less disciplined captains. "On less pleasant news, with Sajin Komamura still recovering from using that 'humanization' technique of his, Tetsuzaemon Iba will be taking over as captain of Squad 7. Whether this is permanent or temporary will be decided by Komamura's condition when and if he regains his original form."

"I will not disappoint my captain or my station!" Iba declared. The man himself had his hair in the early stages of a pompadour with a rather full mustache coating his upper lip, wearing sunglasses with a scar over his left eye and his Zanpakuto as a small dagger in the front of his Hakama pants. The man looked more like he belonged in a Yakuza group rather than a military organization in all honesty.

"Tone it down a bit Tetsuzaemon." Kyoraku told him, a sentiment felt by the rest of the Gotei as they found his passion rather grating. "Speaking of placeholders, Lisa Yadomaru. Do you have any complaints about your duties?"

"No sir." A woman with a somewhat plain look on her near constant stoic expression, wearing red oval glasses and an altered Shihakusho that showed off her midriff and switched out the Hakama pants for a mini skirt. Her long black hair involved chin length framing bangs and a shoulder length ponytail, almost as if she was going for the sexy secretary or librarian look. "I'm alright with serving as the captain of Squad 8 until Ichigo's return to claim the position as practice for when he eventually takes over as the new head of the Gotei."

"I also want you to join him in Squad 1 when that happens. How old man Yama survived this job for so long almost baffles me. I'd definitely be sunk if it wasn't for Nanao."

"That'd leave the 8th without a captain, unless you already planned for that." Said Love Aikawa, captain of the 14th Squad that served as the police force for the 320 districts of the Rukongai or the civilian sector of Soul Society. He wore a sleeveless Haori and sunglasses over his standard uniform and had a thin goatee, short sideburns, and his hair in a spiked afro.

"That depends on whether or not you think you can make Renji Abarai ready to be one, captain Kuchiki." Kyoraku said to the captain of the 6th division. A man with shoulder length black hair with a white hair clip across the back of his head and wearing a high white collar on his Haori with gold trim. He wore the standard uniform with a white scarf and fingerless tekko gloves, but he carried with him an unmistakable sense of noble dignity.

"I'd prefer it if you didn't doubt my ability sir. It shall be done."

"Confident as ever I see. Now then, onto the next crucial matter. Uryu, Kisuke, how's progress with the Wing Bind agency and our own dragon sanctuary?"

"They continue to stonewall us on Cinderella but they have agreed to send us at least two 'experts' from each division of Wing Bind to help teach us about what we might need." Uryu told them from the monitor. "And I use experts somewhat loosely because the ones selected from the Pipers division seem to just want to join because of their crush on me."

"And we're still analyzing everything we can to get a full grasp on the different technological basis that they operate on." Urahara informed the group. "I've had to split the SRDI team into dedicated groups to focus on all the projects. Modernizing Soul Society, researching the dragons and all that from London before we can even think to build even one sanctuary, all our normal projects may end up suffering if it wasn't for the Stylish AI Mayuri made."

"Speaking of people from that world Ichigo went to before the Quincy War," Kyoraku started, "time to select what squads to put them in. I trust you've read the files concerning them?" Urahara took out a small device with a button and brought up a projection that had seven mugshots of the different people brought in from the other world. "Let's start with Esdeath, get the troublesome one out of the way first."

"She'll be joining my division." A tall and lean looking teenager with spiky white hair and turquoise eyes stated, wearing a long turquoise scarf on his standard uniform with his Zanpakuto on his back. "She'll become my new lieutenant." This came to a surprise to many of the captains as they learned that Esdeath was practically a monster in human skin, lacking any sense of empathy or mercy for those she considered weak. Course that was still before fighting Ichigo and being humbled by a far greater power than her own and being put on a leash of his own design. "Our abilities are similar and she wishes to train with me. I already agreed to take her under my wing and besides, it'll be nice to have a lieutenant that'll actually do the paperwork." Despite the joke, the room had an uncomfortable silence to remember the losses they suffered. Rangiku may have been lazy and a slacker, she was still a beloved member of the Gotei.

"Then that leads us to the others." The head captain looked to the pictures and selected one with a thick black heart shaped pompadour, blue eyes, and a rather big muscular frame judging from the thick and broad shoulders. "Bulat, known as the 100 man-slayer. Former assassin of 'Night Raid' and spear master."

"I'll take him." Tetsuzaemon stated. "We spoke a few times. He seems like a man's man, I like that. He seems like lieutenant material." They waited to see if anyone wanted to challenge but no one did.

"Very well. Next, Daidara." Another muscular man, this time with long spiky blonde hair and beard like a lion's mane but far thinner on the bottom with pupil-less white eyes. "Ax master and-

"Don't bother, he's intent on joining my squad." Said Kenpachi Zaraki, a muscular man with long spiky black hair, ragged clothes, and a scar over his left eye with an eyepatch over his left. "That idiot showed up in at my barracks after everyone recovered and demanded to fight anyone to build up his 'experience points'. Then the dumbass insulted Yumichika to try and get a rise out of Ikkaku and that didn't end well for him."

"I can confirm that." Unohana spoke up, remembering the file that cited multiple gashes and broken bones.

"So that's what that screaming was." Kyoraku said before moving to the next picture, a woman with tanned skin, green eyes, and blonde hair styled in pigtails. "One of the two Rakshasa Demons, Mez. I think they'd both be fight for-"

"Dibs." Lisa interrupted. "Both her and Suzuka." She said, causing Urahara to bring up the picture of another girl, this one with a scar over her nose and black hair in a mix of a hime cut up front and a messy ponytail in the back.

"Really? But they're martial arts experts and assassins, they'd be natural for squad-"

"Nope. I read those files." Yoruichi immediately stated. "I'd be willing to fight for Mez, but she can have Suzuka."

"O...kay then. Moving on, Izou. Swordsman that immediately defected to Ichigo's side when he had the chance, seeking to feed his blade with blood." The next picture showed a man with black and red eyes and had a topknot ponytail while he had a twig in his mouth.

"I'll take him." Love said pretty quickly. "I have a good job for someone like him." When no one objected the final picture was shown, a woman with long purple hair and eyes wearing glasses and had a small scar under her left eye.

"Sheele... who wants her?" The file on her made it clear that she was airheaded and clumsy but a natural fighter. Outside of battle she'd probably cause trouble for whatever squad she'd be in.

"I will." Byakuya announced. "If I can make Renji into a proper lieutenant and captain, I can turn her into a capable Shinigami."

"Guess we'll leave that to you then. Very well, this meeting is adjourned."

(Back in the Shadowlands)

The realm was never all that silent, being home to giant demonic beasts, shadow monsters, goblins, and the race of giants called Formorians that battled the Celtic gods known as the Tuatha de Danann in ancient times after the worlds were split apart. Eventually, when the fighting ended, they were sealed away in the Shadowlands to keep their destructive wrath away from the fledgling mortals that lived in the Celtic region with few escaping. When Scathach came to the realm in search of strong opponents, eventually ruling over the realm as the gatekeeper, she rose above all of them as the strongest and most dangerous killer, quelling their threat with the aid of her few students. As such, the Formorians want nothing more than to escape and try to get their revenge on the Tuatha de Danann. So when Scathach offered their freedom in exchange for Ichigo's head, they were desperate enough to go for it in force. The end result left Scathach's mountain on fire.

"Taimatsu!" The hybrid roared out as he swung his spear, sending a wall of flames toward a group of armored giants and demonic beast. The intense flames quickly reduced them to charred skeletons and ash as the mountain continued to burn, but Ichigo had no time to stop as he turned and dragged his hand along the spear's blade. "Gran Rey Cero-Getsuga Jujisho!" He swung in two quick slashes, making a cross, as the blast of energy tore a massive trench down the mountain side and obliterating all in their wake.

"Man. Now I'm glad you've been holding back." The voice of Cu Chulainn sounded out, making Ichigo turn to find the hound sitting on a rock in the midst of the inferno and covered in protection runes. "You've got amazing heat tolerance to be in this while naked." He then held out a black bodysuit with blue trim, in a similar fashion to the ones he and Scathach wore. "Teacher said that if you can survive our next fight, you'll get this outfit~." He teased, before running off.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU CU!" He roared before his instincts flared, narrowly dodging a barrage of exploding spears that rained down from above. "YOU FREAKING PSYCOPATHIC WITCH!" He cried out while mixing Shunpo, Hirenkyaku, Sonido, and Bringer Light to try and flash up the mountain but each spear strike was dangerously close to striking him, courtesy of her using Perthro(ᛈ) to intercept him at practically every turn. This was his day; Cu teasing, Scathach trying to blow him up, and all the monsters of Dun Scaith trying to kill him. "Damn it Scathach!" He growled before throwing his hand up and projecting a giant Reishi hand to hover above him.

"Bakudo #39, Enkosen!" He chanted, creating a large spinning disc of Reishi before immediately drawing Algiz(ᛉ), Nauthiz(ᚾ), and Uruz(ᚢ) on the shield. Then he did a small jump to bring his leg in to draw Raidho(ᚱ) on both of his feet before using Hirenkyaku to speed himself away. Scathach increased the bombardment but the shield managed to hold, long enough for him to reach the castle anyway before falling apart. "By the Soul King this woman is-" He was saying as he opened the gate to the castle and then got a gaping hole in his chest.

"Dropped your guard Ichigo! You know better than that!" Scathach called out, dressed in her bodysuit and was next to a giant twenty foot tall red ogre like man with three eyes, bulging muscles, and lumpy flesh. "Good effort, but I doubt there will ever be another that could match Balor." She said as Ichigo coughed out blood and struggled to breath from just one functioning lung. "Looks like you missed the heart too. Gotta work on your aim pal." The giant scoffed and started marching to Ichigo as he dropped to his knees, a hand going to the hole in his chest as if it could stem the gushing blood.

"It matters little." The Formorian said in a distorted growled as he closed in on the hybrid, some of Ichigo's blood getting on his spear. "Soon I will be free and-" Ichigo shot forward and stabbed his Gae Bolg into the monster's chest. As the blade sank into the thick dense muscles, Ichigo charged a Gran Rey Cero and fired a blast that disintegrated the giant... and blew a good sized hole in Scathach's castle.

"Well. Guess he made it." She said approvingly as Ichigo collapsed once again, his chest slowly regenerating. "You did good kid. You start your proper training as soon as you clean this mess up and fix my mountain." Ichigo managed to look at her before turning to the hole in the castle and listen to the still burning fire of the mountain.

"After... I get... some rest?" He panted out in hope.

"No. Right now." She said before kicking him off the summit yet again. "Start with the fire! This isn't a sauna!"

(Illustrated Guide to... the Omake. Why do keep using the Illustrated Guide theme?)

Izou's New Job

"So... you're the police force, but you want me to go around the whole Rukongai, hunting down major criminal figures like serial killers, and then kill them. Like a serial killer whose MO is other killers." The swordsman said, recapping what he was just told.

"Yeah, got the idea from this one manga series I'm reading." The captain answered, holding up a book titled 'Murcielago'. "But, you're clearly better than the protag of this series."

"How so?"

"You probably won't stop in the middle of a mission to try and fuck anything with a pair of nice tits."

'What the hell is he reading?' (That is a question I asked myself way too many times)

Why Lisa wanted Suzuka and Mez

"Oh yeah, that's nice!" Lisa said as she took pictures of Mez in different swimsuits and other cosplay outfits, often in rather erotic poses. "What about you Bitch?" The captain called out to her other recent acquisition, who was tied up with electrified barb wire that dug into her skin with every move as she writhed in pleasurable pain, only wearing that wire as it dug into her breasts and taint with a collar with a tag that read 'Masochist Pig'.

"More mistress! Let me have more!" She pleaded, causing Lisa to smirk before kicking the masochist right in the crotch and causing the barb wire to dig further into her skin.

"My obedient sex toys, good to have you here, I see this being a very 'productive day'." She said before grabbing a flogger. "Very productive." Lisa repeated with a smile before erotic moans began to ring throughout the Soul Society.

How the Soul King is coping with his boredom

Sitting on his crystal throne, the primordial god held out his left hand and twisted the very energies of the Dangai and the Garganta void between the realms. As he did something humanoid was being formed from the shifting Reishi along with a large pendant that had a curved emblem with perfect symmetry, but it quickly faded from existence.

"Tch. Those things really were an evolutionary dead-end." The god sighed before pulling up the 42 copies of the Dragon Ball and DBZ manga. "Maybe this can inspire something." Using the thin nerves extending from his left hand, he opened the many books and instantly read the entire series. "'Hyperbolic Time Chamber' huh? That might be useful."