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I woke up as an Ancient Slab, what is the Meaning of This!?

Evan Myers was an ordinary, everyday college student, he was boring as hell, but one day while he was power napping, instead of waking up on his apartment couch, he woke up in a pure white room with a spin wheel like in those game shows, [ what the hell ] he thought, but he spun the wheel anyways, he got option 7, [ hell yeah my lucky number is 7! ] , little does he knows that option 7 means he will reincarnate as a Slab. Follow his stupid adventure as he tries to gain a mortal human body and maybe slay the Demon King? Nah, he probably won't slay the Demon King.. Fair warning : This story does not take itself seriously. If you like a more serious, intense storyline, then this might NOT be your cup of tea. It's like the difference between an epic waterslide and a lazy river. This story being categorized as the latter. Also, this is positively isekai T R A S H. Also also, the whole thing is a m e s s, but do I care about it? Of course! It keeps me up at night :)

Dheafarccane · Fantasy
Not enough ratings
31 Chs

Intermission [ Luke's POV ]

[ This was right after Luke regained consciousness. ]

⟨ Uughh... What happened to me..? Where am I? ⟩.

I wondered that as I regained consciousness, when I came to, I was already resting on a tree, I remembered clearly being chased by the Gargoyle.. And then I tripped over something, and then.. Oh yeah.. I was saved wasn't I? Wait.. Does that mean that whoever saved me was 'that'? That weird black rectangle I saw? No, that couldn't be it.. I must be hallucinating or something from my fatigue, there's NO WAY a rectangle saved me, yup, no way whatsoever. As I pondered about that, I hear footsteps of someone walking towards me..

⟨ Who is it? It's certainly not a monster's footstep, is it the one who saved me? ⟩.

At that time, a voice called out to me, saying.

" Hey, How is your body? Does it hurt anywhere? "

The voice sounded clear and beautiful, to the point I couldn't determine the gender of the person who said that, although, there is this distinct lack of articulation in the voice. But now is not the time to think about such things because the owner of the voice was probably my saviour, so I replied.

" U-umm.. Thank you for saving me.. U-uhh.. N-no.. It doesn't hurt anywhere.. ".

I strangely stuttered, that never happened before.. The figure that I saw before me, my saviour, looked exactly like what an angel should look, with beautiful silky deep black hair and a mesmerizing shade of purple which colours their eyes.. With a face so gorgeous, even the goddess of love would be jealous, and skin so fair and white, noble women will fight over each other in order to obtain such skin. In other words, I am completely heads over heels for this person.

" Well then that's good to hear, now, wait here for a while, I'm going to cook you something "

The Personage said again, they even went as far as to make me food.. This Personage truly is an angel.. but, they seem to be troubled over starting a fire, oh no.. I shouldn't let her Honourable Hand be dirtied by starting a fire, so I offered my help.

" I can help! umm.. I can cast a simple << Spark >> so, let me start the fire! ".

I stuttered again! What is up with me.. But all of my worries were thrown out the window when the Personage said

" That would be helpful, thank you ". With a smile so soft and beautiful, aahh.. It's pure bliss.. So I hurried up and started the fire, with the fire started, she skewered some fishes and seasoned them with salt, then cooked them over the open fire, The Personage then asked me.

" What happened back there, why were you chased? ".

With that question, I was then suddenly made to remember what happened to me, so I explained everything to The Personage, she was so kind, to even console me by saying kind words such as " Well, I'm glad I saved you at just the right time. ". AAAHH.. This Personage is too pure! I just can't look at her in the eyes! Am I getting flustered?! No, nononononono... Wait a minute, Luke.. You're not the type to prey on underage children! No matter how you look at it, This Personage is clearly a minor, nononono... I am certainly not a creepy uncle!

But then, as if mocking all of my previous retorts, she picked up a cooked fish and said " The fish is done, here's your fill, handsome~".

She is definitely messing with me, *siiighh* I gotta get a hold of myself, or else, this'll turn into a troublesome situation, I don't wanna force myself onto a child after all. I'm not into that.. So I quickly took the fish and ate it facing away from her in order to quell my desire.

But it doesn't stop there, she continued to ask me " Hey, it's kind of awkward to speak to you without knowing your name, can you tell me? Or, do you prefer being called handsome or gorgeous by me? ".

Panicked, I quickly answered " I-It's Luke! M-my name is Luke.. ".

I've never been so flustered ever in my entire life.. If it was a beautiful elven big sister type person who said that, I wouldn't be this troubled, but, the one who is saying such things is not only my saviour, but also looks like she is still 14 years old.. *sigh* Calm down, me, maybe she just looks like a child but is actually a 4000 years old dragon or something.. Well, that kind of make sense, considering her magical prowess, but also, unrealistic, because it's unlikely that a dragon will save a mere little human.

After hearing my name, she also gave her name, " Nice to meet you, Luke, I am Evan Myers, call me Evan. ".

Aahh.. So her name is Evan.. A beautiful name.. Wait.. Evan? Isn't this guy a dude?! What?!! So all this time I've been flustered at the words of a boy?! hUH?! Whaaaat~?!! I.. I have no words.. I am speechless.. So it's a ' he ' not a ' she '.. I feel like I've been lied to..

She- I mean, He, asked me. " How is the fish? Is it good? ".

Not wanting to sour his mood, I replied " I-it's good! .. it's good.. ". Even though it's SUPER salty

" Hehehe.. I'm glad ". He said, God damnit.. Why is he so cute?! Stay strong me! You're not into boys!

After a few moments of awkward silence, Evan asked something unexpected, " Hey, Luke, you said you were from Vansborough right? Can you tell me where it is? In truth, I am also stranded here. ". He asked.

⟨ Huh? He doesn't know that? He said that he was also stranded, maybe he's from that distant country from the east orient, the merchants say that people there have black hair after all.. ⟩. So I decided to explain the majority of common knowledge about Vansborough City.

After explaining for a moment, Evan seems to be thinking, before asking, " I see.. So, where to go to get to Vansborough? I want to leave this Forest behind.. ".

I myself, am uncertain either, so I replied " To be honest, I'm not sure either, because when I was chased, I simply ran around aimlessly, trying to escape, maybe if I can find a river or a stream, I can track it upstream, because Vansborough is located near a lake, so it has multiple small rivers and streams nearby which all flow towards this Forest.. ".

Then, I realized something, so I asked him. " Wait, where did you catch these fish, Evan? ".

Taken aback, Evan replied " Uuhh.. The river?? ".

" THAT'S IT!! Where is that river!? We probably can get out of this Forest if we tracked the river upstream!! ". Yes! Finally! A breakthrough! I can finally go get back!

Evan still seems to be suspicious, and asked " Are you sure? The river might branch off into different directions you know? ".

" Of course I am! It's common knowledge among Vansborough Adventurers that every river in the Magic Forest is a safe route that always lead back to Vansborough! So let's go immediately!!! ". I said, in order to convince him to lead me to the river, it seems he really is clueless about things like these, he really must've been someone from far away.

And then, Evan finally agreed to lead me to the river. After a few minutes of trekking, we arrived at the river.

" Yes! With this we can surely get back to Vansborough safely! ". I declared, feeling relieved

Evan, meanwhile, seems to be still sceptical, so he asked, " Aren't monsters going to appear frequently to drink? How is this safe? ".

" Huh? Of course it's safe! There are no monsters that approach this river whatsoever, even though the reason is unclear, it is a tried and true fact that following the river upstream will take one safely to Vansborough without encountering even the weakest of monsters! Everyone knows this! ". I said, with a force that I didn't mean to exert.

" U-umm.. I-I'm sorry.. ". He said, with teary eyes

Oh sh*t! What did I just say?! " I-it's okay!! It's okay! I'm the one who should be sorry! That I yelled at you and all.. ". I said, trying to deescalate the situation.

" Actually, it's me who should be thankful! Y-you saved me after all, and cooked food for me and even led me to the river.. I am such a failure to yell at you even though you did all that for me.. So please don't be sad! Because you were very helpful.. So, thank you once again.. ". I said, to assure him.

⟨ Oohh noo... I am such a bastard.. Why did I yell at him.. He looked so depressed now.. I hope he doesn't hate me.. ⟩.

But, contrary to my expectations, Evan then looked at me with a hopeful look in his eyes. And asked, " Was I really helpful? ".

" Y-Yes of course you are! So don't feel down about yourself. ". I hastily replied, while doing my best to give a soft smile.

He then suddenly teared up, and then lunged onto my body for a hug, while sobbing. ⟨ Uhh.. uh oh.. What am I supposed to do? ⟩. Unsure, I just decided to hug him back.

" I'm glad.. I'm so, so glad.. I'm finally worth something.. ". He muttered in my arms, it seems he has a complex for validity or something.. What a shame..

Hugging Evan, I realized ⟨ Isn't his body far colder than normal? I wonder why.. ⟩. But even though his body was cold, it still felt strangely warm to me.. So we stayed like that for a while.

====[ Author's Note ]====

Hello again, I'm sorry for the irregular updates, I had many things to do suddenly, so, here's an intermission, enjoy!

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