Unwilling to Accept

"Gah!" the woman screamed. She fell off me, clutching her forehead in pain. 

I may have lost my mana but the physique I built up is still here. Elina's physique is much weaker than mine as she is a pure mage. There was no way she would not be hurt. 

"What was that for? I was trying to have some fun." complained the being who was inhabiting my Elina's body.

Did she really think I wouldn't notice that despite it being similar, her voice was deeper than Elina's? This being also had some sort of magical charm that made my body react strangely. 

If she thought my soul, which has been through countless lives, would not be able to resist my body, she is wrong. My will which has been tempered for so long would never lose that easily. 

"Who are you? Where is Elina?" I asked her. I picked her up by the collar of her dress and slammed her against the wall. 

"Ow!" She let out a small sound of pain. It carries a hint of sarcasm, as if she wasn't hurt at all. 

"Answer me!!" I yelled loudly as I looked at her with anger. My face was contorted with rage in a way it hadn't for a long time. 

"Elina is right here." she said while pointing to her head. " Where else would she be?" 

She chuckled playfully as she grabbed my arms and squeezed. 

"Hmph!" I grunted as I could feel her crushing my arm. This was beyond the strength that Elina should have. It must have to do with whoever was using her body. 

"As for who I am, I will let her explain." She squeezed my hands so hard that I could hear my bones squealing in pain. 

Having just recovered from my recklessness, my bones were still sensitive. My grip was loosed as a result as she took her hands off the collar. 

She felt go of mee after and patted her dress. 

"I was right. You are quite fun. Let's enjoy to our heart's content some other time. If I stay any longer, your little lover will never let me out again." she says with a disappointed tone. 

"Goodbye my new toy...for now." she waved goodbye and then suddenly closed her eyes. 

Elina's body falls limply but I immediately grab onto her before she can hit the ground. 

I take her into my arms and walk to my bed where I place her carefully. 

"Hmm..." she groans lightly as her eyes open slowly. 

My face was right there to greet her. She could probably see how worried I was as she attempted to smile. She didn't do it right as the smile was awfully awkward. 

"I'm sorry," she says. An apology was unlike her but it seemed that whatever just happened might be somewhat her fault.

Her voice was subtly back to normal. It is slightly less deep than the one from earlier. 

Along with the cold shine in her icy blue eyes, I was sure that this was her.

"Who was she?" I don't acknowledge her apology until I know the details. I wanted to know who that was and why she apologized before I accepted it. 

Elina got up and explained. 

...

...

...

Frustrated!

That was so the only word I could use to describe my feelings right. Of course, I was more than just frustrated when I heard her explanation. However, after getting rid of the anger and displeasure I felt after processing, all that is left is frustration. 

I understand why Elina never told me about her trait of being natural born divine vessel. That is her deepest secret. Something she doesn't need to share unless she is ready. 

Heck, even I haven't shared my deepest secret with her yet. 

Even though I understand, it doesn't mean my heart doesn't hurt. Even though I understand, it doesn't mean that I approve. 

I know it isn't quite hypocritical but most humans are like this. It's hard to not be petty when it comes to the ones you love the most. It's hard not to be as protective and know as much as you can about those closest to you. 

"Can she pop up whenever she wants?" I ask her. As much as I didn't want to accept what was happening, it was the reality. 

"Pretty much. Divine vessels, once accepting of their role, don't have much say." Elina replies while looking down. 

She must be bummed about the whole situation. This meant that whenever the 2 were alone or having a moment, that bitch could just pop out and ruin it. 

"Ha!" I hold my head and roar out my frustration. "Did you really not have any other way?" I asked. 

I know the answer but I am still asked. I knew that Elina felt inferior in terms of talent, She had only made it to 3rd their mage because of the excessive amount of magic herbs she had consumed since young. 

I reached 3rd there with any of that and was also close to fourth tier. And this was without me cultivating at all in the last 3 years since I was busy managing a war. 

If I didn't go to the SSS, I would probably 5th tier or even close to 6th tier by now. My talent in mana cultivation was one of the highest in the empire. 

"I didn't. There was no other way for me to fight beside you. If it wasn't for the goddess, I wouldn't have even been able to get past the 5th tier. 

In the future, I had been stuck at that level for 5 years. I cultivated all day but I couldn't make a single drop of progress. That's when I gave up.

With the blessings and reinforcement I got from accepting to be her vessel, my cultivation was sped up and my control over the Ice element increased. 

It was the only way I could stay by your side on the battlefield..."

She poured out her heart to me after so long. I sat there and listened. 

Her words were laced with emotions that she rarely showed. Her tough exterior held such a soft interior. This is what I loved about her. She knew how to handle herself until she didn't. 

That was what I was here for. Once she had finished, I went by her side and gave her a tight hug. I used my hand to wipe her face which was dripping with tears. 

These tears were the feelings she had kept bottled up for so long. Once they flowed from her eyes and released to the world, she had become lighter. 

The light sobbing stopped as she nestled her face into my chest. 

While holding her firmly, I asked "Now that you're calm, She said something about you never letting her out again. Does that mean you have at least some control?"

"Hmm." She made a muffled noise in response. She took her face out from my chest and looked up at me. 

"She can come out whenever she wants but there are some restrictions. Contracts signed with gods are controlled by natural laws of the realm. As for what those laws are I don't really know.

What I do know is that I get a veto on her possession every full and new moon." Elina explained to me the intricacies of the contracts that are signed between gods and mortals. 

Apparently, Elina has the right to deny the goddess in taking over her body. This right is refreshed every full moon and new moon. That's about every 15 days. This right is stackable, which means she can collect them for a long time. 

Also, the goddess can't possess her after a denial for 5 days. With enough patience, it is possible to lock the goddess out for a long time, if you save the vetos that is. 

"So she has to stay in your good graces so you don't take a drastic measure like that?" 

"Yeah. Since the full moon is 3 days, I should get my first veto then," she said. 

"Hmm. Do what you think is right." I told her. She had to use the vetos at her own discretion. Unlike her, I didn't understand the goddess very well. 

She would know when best to use them. 

"I will." She nodded and prepared to leave my embrace. It was almost lunchtime and I needed to change clothes. I would skip the shower for now. I kind of feel strange with the goddess having her eye on us. 

We both get up as she has to go back to her place for lunch and other work. Before she can get out, I call out to her with my final question. 

"Why did my body react like that? Why did I lose control?" I ask her worriedly. Even though I'll be prepared next time, I still didn't like the strange attraction my body felt to her. 

While my mind was disgusted by her, my body was drawn. I wanted to vomit thinking about that. I hated not being in control of my own body. 

"Ah. Although she is the major goddess of ice, healing, and spirits, she has some minor divinities. One of them is lust. She likes using it to tease people." she said before hurrying away. 

She closed the door behind her and I could hear her hurried footsteps. She was running away. It seems that the embarrassment just hit.

She was probably just processing how her body pounced on mine and how I touched her. 

I didn't miss the tip of her ears which were slightly red. It had been a long time since we had such intimate kinship. Sure, neither of us was in a normal state but that doesn't change what happened. 

I would definitely be blushing if I hadn't been through similar things in the past. It's probably going to be hard to push aside this new memory for the next couple of days. 

Even now, those few seconds are replayed in my mind. Hmm, what's this? 

I feel a bit strange and look down towards my crotch. The lingering effects of the goddess divinity were popping up now. 

"I guess I'll take that cold shower after all." I murmur while heading back into the scene of the event. 

...

...

...

The same day, at dusk. 

The sun was halfway past the horizon and the blue sky was splashed with other colors. Pink, orange, yellow, and all the shades in between made it a sight to behold. 

Most people either talked or looked towards the sunset as they walked home. The shifts for the day had finished. it was time to go home and eat dinner. 

Whether one was alone or had family waiting for them, they all rushed home. The incident had made people unwilling to wait outside for any unnecessary reason. 

This was also the case for those who lived in slums. Everything was closing and people were heading home. 

The slum dwellers, earning what they could and buying what food they could afford, headed to their cramped living space. 

A girl with dull silver hair and red eyes did the same. She briskly walked on the dirt paths as held a cloth bag that held some meatsticks and bread. 

While she had a temporary job during the last 2 weeks, it had already ended a couple of days ago. Yesterday, she had been able to find a new permanent job for herself.

In the warehouse next to the old one she previously worked for, a spot opened up. Since she had experience and the recommendation of her former employer, she was easily able to get the job. 

Her siblings would have guaranteed meals for a while. 

'Guy, I'm home!" she announced while opening the door to their shack. "I got your favorite meat sticks today," she added when she was in. 

She looked to the corner room. She was expecting to see her siblings huddled in the blanket. They would jump out and greet her. Then they would grab some food and cutely munch on them. She would join them in doing the same. 

Then they would talk for a bit. In the end, they would sleep in the same blanket and share the warmth. 

"Guys.." she muttered slowly. Her heart had stopped beating. Her feet refused to take a step forward as if frozen. Her eyes opened wide as she stared at the empty room. 

Her siblings weren't there. They were gone. In fact, the room was empty of all belongings. 

Not even the small trinkets her little brother found in the scrapyard or the then blanket they slept in. 

It was a barren room. It seemed as if no one lived here in the first place. 

Hana didn't know what to think. Her mind was frozen, the gears had stopped sinning. Her breath had become ragged as her heartbeats turned abnormal. 

It was as if she was a machine, malfunctioning and breaking down on the spot.