1 I Want You (Xiaother Songfic)

TW for suicide, character death, Xiao's death is kinda graphic-

I want you

Aether entered his Serenitea Pot, expecting to see Xiao lying peacefully on the couch, or maybe in the kitchen cooking something. But he wasn't there. This was unusual.

"Xiao? Are you home?" Aether got no response. He was really beginning to get nervous now, his palms getting sweaty and throat getting dry. He looked around the lower floor to see if any of his companions currently staying there had seen him, or maybe if he was in one of those rooms, but nothing. Xiao was nowhere to be found.

"Xiao, you're scaring me, please come out..."

Aether raced upstairs with short breath, silently praying to every god out there that Xiao was alive, Xiao was okay... He ran around the upper floor, seeing nobody in there, except for the room where Paimon stayed. Paimon was asleep, so she didn't hear anything. Aether stood with shaking hands in front of his bedroom door.

I hold one card that I can't use

"Xiao!"

Xiao was curled in on himself in the bed, a dark aura emitting from him. He was breathing heavily and quickly, wheezing every so often. This terrified Aether. The sound of Aether shouting his name startled Xiao as Aether ran towards him, cupping Xiao's face in his hands.

"What... what happened? Are you okay? Do you want me to call Zhongl-" Xiao put a firm hand on Aether's shoulder.

But I want you

"My time has come, Aether..." Xiao rasped out. The color drained from Aether's face as he realised what was happening.

"No, no... Xiao, I-I can fix this, right? What do I have to do? Please, tell me! I'll do anything!" Aether begged for Xiao to tell him how to help, how to fix things.

"It's too late."

And it's the end of the world

"No! No, please... you can't die like this!" Aether sobbed, a hand resting on Xiao's chest. A black fog surrounded Xiao, he knew what would happen if Aether stuck around while he was in this state. Xiao pushed Aether away, causing him to stumble. Before he could realise what was going on... it was too late. Xiao screamed out in pain as the black fog formed spears, impaling just his arms at first.

We're starting over, and I love you, darling

Aether could only watch on in horror as he saw something travelling and pulsing through Xiao's veins, creating black cracking patterns in his skin all over his body. The last noises that came from Xiao were some pained gasps and strained groans before he collapsed, the pupils in his eyes vanishing as he took his final breath.

And I am done, dear

Aether shakily moved to be near Xiao just one last time, tears streaming down his face. He closed Xiao's eyes as he sobbed loudly, clutching onto Xiao's unmoving, unbreathing body. His body shook not just from the sobs escaping from his lips but the sheer amount of despair coursing through his veins.

"I'm sorry..." His voice was shaky and quiet, as if he were forcing the words out. He laid Xiao in a more natural position, then his hand reached out to hold Xiao's as his sobs grew in volume.

You're in the house, and I am here in the car

Aether's hands gripped Xiao's like a lifeline, like if he held tight enough, Xiao would be alive again. But that only happens in children's stories. The power of love does not bring people from the grave, no matter how much Aether tried. The concept of time did not exist for a while in this space for Aether.

I just need a quiet place

Aether's ears were ringing. All he could hear was his heartbeat, his own sobs... and Xiao's voice, comforting him. He was remembering these times to comfort himself, despite knowing they'd never happen again. Despite knowing that it was but a fantasy. His eyes ached, but he couldn't stop crying.

Where I can scream how I love you

Aether's sobs soon turned into screams. Screams of grief, pain, agony... anger. He was angry that Xiao had to be taken from him, especially like this. His throat was raw from all the crying. But he didn't care. Xiao went through much more pain than Aether is right now. Paimon rushed into the room and saw what was happening.

I found you, I found the door

The funeral was attended by few. Zhongli, Hu Tao, Ganyu, and of course... Aether and Paimon. Aether was the one who was doing the worst, having lost sleep and not bothering to braid his hair. He had clearly been crying for a long time. Paimon was holding his hand. Zhongli and Hu Tao had been the ones to arrange the funeral. They both worked at a funeral parlour, after all.

But when I stepped through, there was no floor

The lid of the casket closed. Xiao was buried in the earth of the Serenitea Pot. Aether began to cry again. He had lost count of how many times he had cried in the past three hours alone. The other three lowered their heads in respect. Aether couldn't feel time pass, nor the wind blowing around him, the Teapot Spirit's desperate attempt to comfort him.

You're coming back

The other three had left long ago, Paimon had gone to who knows where. Aether sat alone by Xiao's newly-laid tombstone, using Dendro to put a wreath of flowers on the stone. The tombstone stated all that Xiao did for everyone, for Liyue... for Aether. Aether had commissioned someone from Yae Publishing House to write it for him.

And it's the end of the world, we're starting over

In Aether's mind, the world was ending. His world was collapsing around him. He couldn't bring himself to accept... that Xiao was gone. Forever. He knew he'd never be able to. He knew it wasn't possible. He stood up, and looked out at the edge of the island he was standing on, which was floating in a sea of clouds.

And I love you darling, and I am done, dear

He smiled softly, fondly thinking back on times Xiao would insist that he didn't think the clouds were pretty, but Aether could see on his face that he clearly did. That smile soon faded, as he remembered that these moments would never happen again. There was so much happening... he couldn't take it... all he wanted was to find his damn sister!

You're in the house, and I am here in the car

Aether looked back at the wreath of flowers he had made... Qingxin flowers. Xiao's signature flower. The nickname that Xiao always called Aether whenever they were alone... whenever nobody was around because Xiao could never admit to anyone that he loves Aether... he loved Aether more than anything.

I just need a quiet place where I can scream how I love you

A quiet sigh left Aether's lips. He couldn't take this anymore. He couldn't take doing all these errands for everyone, all these battles, and all the material gathering... just to find his sister. His perfect future was a future that included both Xiao and Lumine. But that future was destroyed.

I want you

Aether sat on the edge, his legs dangling over the cliff. Some rocks fell. He could see how far the drop was... it was so far that it was a bottomless pit. He'd fade away on the way down, his body dissolving in an unknown solute. It'd be a peaceful yet painful death. And that is exactly how he wants to go out.

I want you...

Aether pushed himself off, reuniting himself with Xiao.

He never broke his promise of never leaving him.