1 Love me some asphalt.

Every one has there own unique flavor they prefer. Some like eating bitter things others prefer eating sweets. Some psychopaths even enjoy eating mattresses. Me, I prefer sweet, savory, or salty. What I didn't expect was to have a taste of was asphalt, and surprisingly it wasn't as bad as you expect. Don't get me wrong still taste like dirt, but the type of dirt you would eat again if you had to, but I'm getting off point. I am hear with my mouth open eating the curb like some guy about to get curb stomped, which is ironically enough exactly whats about to happen. Some gangsters found me taking the back alley to get home quicker and tried to convince me they needed my wallet more than me. Threre argument consisted of a gun, which is the greatest of negotiators, and ugly looks. I did the only rational thing and tried to defuse the situation with humor. Apparently saying "What are you GUN a do? Shoot me?" Was the opposite of what I should have done. Turns out they didn't like puns. They in fact hated them so much they decided, they didn't want my wallet any more they wanted my life.

Queue a short, and I mean short, chase seen latter. I am here making out with the curb. My first and last kiss is with asphalt. Not how I expected it to go, but it could be worse. Could it be worse? Maybe. not to sure.

Back to the story, my mouth, the curb, gangsters. They are standing over me and kicking me. It hurts, like a lot. Was the kicking really necessary. Your after my life just get it over with. If I wasnt so patient I would run away.

Actually let me try that. I moved my hand and got on my knees only to get Goomba stomped into the ground again, and again, and again, and wait... I don't feel anything any more guess I'm dead. I open my eyes to see a whole lot of nothing. No light no sound, nothing. Wasn't I supposed to meet with a God or something. Is this all there is? Well this fucking sucks. I would sigh in lament, but I don't have body. I feel the urge to look around, but I'm stuck in space. Am I seriously just left with my thoughts. Damn. Well look on the brightside no work.

Actually with all this time I could finally try some meditation. Hmm meditation reminds me of that kids show. Avatar wasn't it? The one with funny animals and cool powers. Maybe if I meditate ill end up in the spirit realm like Iroh. Perfect thats the plan, let's meditate until I enter the spirit realm. Wait How do I do it again? Don't I just focus on my breath. Hmm might as well try. Breathe in.... breathe out... breathe in... breathe out... breathe in... breathe out... in... out... in... out... in... zzzzzzz.

A/N : Sorry its fairly short I'll try to aim for 1000 words a chapter this one is just 516. Also let me know if you like the tounge and cheek type of writing style, if not I can change it. Also Thanks to the People who viewed it and to the person who stared it. Have a good one