1 kid krazy
Do you remember when you were a child, the bad ideas you would chase, the stupidity you would allow around you? This is all about kid logic and how a child went from the porch to the roof of a house with nothing but a "parachute".
It all started with a thought. Me an eight year old kid putting the trash liner in to the trash. As I shook the bag I noticed the resistance in the bag. A light bulb above my head illuminated, I think back to the BASE jumping documentary I watched a week ago. Parachutes make it so you can jump off high objects without getting hurt. What are parachutes but big bags inside a backpack? A plan was formed in my head. I was going to jump off the cliff two miles outside of town.
First I needed to experiment... Because my mom told me too. So I started out small. Two feet off the ground on the front porch. My eyes squint, I buckle my helmet (again mom told me too #killjoy), I taste my finger a slowly raise it into the air. This is the coolest I have ever been. Gripping the bag I hurl myself into the great beyond. I still remember the defining wind and the feeling that I may throw up. I feel the bag catch the air as I safely land on the ground. I am the kid who can fly, but this was only the first test. I turn and look up to the roof and accept my next challenge.
The only problem with my first test was that I had no audience to speak of. Not for the next test though. I decided to put it off for a day so as to gather the throngs of children to watch. I would show not tell the neighborhood kids that I was the alpha, the smartest, the next level of evolution. I put the word out at all three parks with my hand drawn poster. It was simple all it said was "watch Adam fly!!! 1200 Tuesday."
As I climbed the ladder a huge crowd of 13 kids standing in my back yard. I was still thinking of my speech because it needed to be powerful. I stood on the crest of my house red cape (towel) flapping in the breeze. I lifted my head looked into the throngs of children and spoke "I have made a discovery that will change all of our lives, no longer will we be bound by the chains of gravity."
With that said I raised my parachute (garbage bag) over my head. I then jumped in to kid history, or so I believed. Time stood still nothing below me but a single twin mattress and a sea of children. I felt the familiar catch of the wind in my parachute, then I heard a noise the sound of my soul escaping. The top of my parachute opened I saw the sky threw the wind sock I had created. Gravity the cruel mistress she was pulled me down, aided by the traitor above my head cackling all the way down.
The next thing I remember it the laughter and the familiar warmth flowing in my pants. I had failed in front of all my friends and even peed my pants. Never again will I dare to build wax wings and fly haphazardly toward the sun. That was only the first time I would try to defeat gravity at her own game. She had one this match but I will win the war.
