102 CHAPTER 102- I THINK I’LL MISS YOU TOO!

"My heart . . . .?"

"Yes. . . ."

There was some silence between the two for a while. Killian also guessed that Lizzy knew how he felt. But saying it out loud was a completely different matter. Lizzy looked calm and somewhat sad.

"I could only pretend that I didn't know. I'm an illegitimate child. . . . and I had nothing to give to Killian."

Killian went blank.

"Lizzy. . . . Did you mean you liked me too. . . .?"

If this is true, Killian has become such an unfair marriage.

"But you. . . . cliff and. . . ."

"I'm so grateful that Cliff loves me! Although it's a little scary sometimes, but. . . . ."

"Ha. . . ."

Killian wrapped his hands around his forehead because his mind was confused. Countless moments flashed before his eyes that could have been a sign from Lizzy.

"If I wasn't an illegitimate child. . . . Would things have been different?"

To the question that seems to be soaked with sadness, Killian just stiffened his body. He doesn't know what to do with that. Really, if Lizzy wasn't an illegitimate child, if she hadn't had a sense of entitlement, if she had been able to accept his love more openly, would things have been different?

"I'm worried you're going to get hurt out there."

"It's not great enough to be named as war. Don't worry too much."

"But if you get hurt. . . .I'll. . . . "

The eyes that filled with tears were somehow full of affectionate.

But at that moment, Edith came through Killian's mind.

"I don't want to be a widow at this age."

Edith, who said she was worried about me, gave me a mean reason. However, Killian found Edith's playfulness expression more touching than Lizzy's expression with tears of concern. At the same time, the memories of the past are replayed in his head. There were many moments when I misunderstood that Lizzy was in love with me, but there were even more moments when I realized that it was all just an illusion. Lizzy smiled more brightly at Cliff than she did at me, the two of them were much more intimate without me, and even when the three of us together, I sometimes felt that I was left out behind.

'But you said you loved me? That's kind of weird. . . . '

Then Killian realized that he had guessed again. Lizzy didn't tell me she loved me. She just said, 'I knew your heart.'

'I almost made a stupid mistake again. No, did Lizzy intended to make this illusion. . . . ?'

Killian shook his head, frowning slightly. However, as soon as Lizzy approached his side, even the cold Killian could help it but feel panicked.

"Lizzy. . . . ?"

"Before you leave, can you just kiss me once?"

It was an undeniable temptation. The moist eyes, the exposed shoulders, the hands on Killian's forearm, and everything about Lizzy now were seducing Killian. A shard of sunlight, the one he'd been craving for the past 5 years, was shining down on him for the first time. She wanted him.

"Lizzy. . . . "

If Lizzy had come half a year earlier, Killian would have kissed Lizzy without thinking twice. However, the current Killian was not the Killian of the past. He grinned and tapped Lizzy forehead with his fingertips.

"Killian. . . . ?"

"You don't have to act like you're sending someone who is going to die, you idiot."

That alone had shattered the flirtatious mood created between them.

"I promise you. it would take less than a month for the war to be decided victory or defeated, The reason this territory war took place in the first place is because my father completely hid our military power. We waited for them to provoke us like this."

"Oh. . . ."

"I think you and Edith are too nervous about the word of war."

Killian's showed an expression with no regrets, and Lizzy face fell in disappointment when the name 'Edith' came out of Killian's mouth. Killian noticed it and pretended not to know it.

"Don't worry, go back and sleep. Come on, I'll take you to your room."

"Oh, no. I'll go back by myself."

If it was usual, Killian would have suggested one or two more times even if Lizzy refused, I think Lizzy might be embarrassed that her request, for asked him to kiss her, being rejected. So he just let her go back alone.

"Good night, Killian."

"Yes, good night."

Unlike usual, he said goodbye without even a kiss on her forehead. Looking at the closed door as Lizzy went out. Killian lost in his thoughts.

'Why is Lizzy like that all of a sudden?'

I had been thinking since earlier that Lizzy seemed trying to seduce me in a subtle way. But today, it was a pretty bold provocation. It was too bold for the kind and naive Lizzy Sinclair to do thing. . . . .

'No matter how much I thought about it, Lizzy definitely had a feelings towards Cliff. But why would she say that it looks like it was Cliff's one-sided feelings?'

Earlier, she said, 'I knew your heart' and 'Would it be different if I wasn't an illegitimate child'. When i heard she said that, I almost mistook her for a moment with shock and nervousness, but when I calmly recalled my memory, it was definitely that Lizzy in love with Cliff. That's why I accepted my marriage to Edith, and until now, Lizzy has been giving me more advice and asked me to treat Edith well, also supporting me and Edith relationship.

'Why, she so desperate trying to shake my heart now?'

No matter how much I thought about it, it was difficult to find the reason. But what's more surprising is that he didn't get swayed by Lizzy words.

'It reminded me of Edith. . . . '

It's not just about the sense of responsibility that 'Edith is my wife, i like it or not'. He suddenly felt more comfortable with Edith, and he wanted her more.

Instead of Lizzy, who is as bright, clear, and kind like sunshine. She carefully blames herself if anything goes wrong, and she looks like she's going to break at any moment if something happens. However, Edith, who is bold, shameless, confident, and never lost at a single word, has been taking over his heart at some point. Maybe she is emotional because of the territory war, and she's confused by her own feelings. 'Let's forget about it'. Killian sighed and smiled at the same time and suddenly stopped his hand from fiddling the document.

'If Edith did something like this, I would think she was trying to seduce me to hide something from me. . . . ? if so, then. . . . shouldn't i be wondering why Lizzy behaves like that?'

Thinking about it made me realize how ridiculous my suspicions had been toward Edith in the past. It made me realize that i was too biased. Finally, I had the question of whether Lizzy was really 'kind and innocent'. We still don't know the truth about the day where Edith almost killed, and the most suspicious person we suspect is Lizzy. Killian immediately called a servant and asked him to bring Anna, Edith's maid. And after a moment later, when Anna came, Killian lowered his voice and gave Anna secret commands.

"Never take your eyes off toward Edith while I'm away. Do your best to protect Edith's safety."

"Alright."

"I'm sorry to put such a heavy burden on you, but you're the only one I can trust."

"No. That's supposed to be my job."

Anna answered faithfully and withdrew quietly, but Killian's still felt reluctant.

'Lizzy. . . . What are you thinking?'

Although the beautiful memories of the past five years he spent with Lizzy seemed to shine through, trying to sustain him. Killian feared that something was hidden under that light.

***

Tump, Tump

There's sound of weak footsteps echoed down the deserted hallway. As the footsteps became more frequent, a low, soft voice came from the darkness.

"You look like something didn't go well."

"Cliff. . . ."

Cliff, who was waiting for her in front of Lizzy's room door, smiled and opened his arms toward her. Lizzy fell into his arms as if he were used to it. The cold shoulders seemed to be heated by Cliff's body temperature.

"It's too late. Where did you go?"

"Ah. . . .I couldn't sleep, so i took a walk for a while."

"It's so dark. . . . ? It's dangerous."

Cliff, who had locked Lizzy in his arms, opened Lizzy's room door and stepped in together.

"I'm sorry. The thought of a territory war made me freak out, so I went to. . . . ."

"I told you it's nothing to worry about. This territory war is just like my father caused it. So we're all prepared."

Cliff gave a similar answer to Killian. Even though it was a word she had heard many times, Lizzy shoulders were trembling. Cliff hugged Lizzy tightly again and swept her back.

"Instead of worrying about me or Killian, please watch Edith while we're away,"

"Yes. . . . ?"

Her trembling shoulders stopped, and her puzzled eyes stared at Cliff.

"I'm hoping there's nothing happened, but we never know. So i need you to keep an eye on Edith if there's anything suspicious about her."

"What should I do if. . . . She looks suspicious?"

"Send a falcon. I'll tell the guy in charge of it in advance."

Lizzy nodded timidly. Cliff whispered affectionately, dabbing his lips on Lizzy forehead.

"For your safety, I'll be right back. I swear."

"Thank you, Cliff."

Lizzy, rejected by Killian, regained stability and composure in Cliff's arms.

***

As the weather got colder, it became harder to get out of the blanket. But it wasn't just the cold that made it difficult to get out of the blanket today.

"It's finally morning."

I couldn't sleep and stayed up all night. I mumbled to Killian, who had just opened his eyes. Killian, who had embraced me warmly last night, blinked his thick dark double eyelids, then shook his head and laughed.

"Are you so sad that you won't be able to see me for a few days?"

"Who knows it's going to be a few days or a few months?"

"That's a pity."

Killian grinned mischievously. If in the past, I would have made fun of it, said that he was overly self-conscious and that it would be a disease if the illusion was severe, but I couldn't do that this morning.

". . . . .Yes. Kinda, I think I'll miss you, too."

I'll miss you. Maybe desperately. It was funny that the man destined to cut off my throat was the only person I could lean on now, and Killian was the only one who could protect me. There, no one would protect me, the daughter of Count Riegelhoff, twho dared to declare a territorial war against the Duke of Ludwig?