1 The Beginning

Why do you even bother changing the fact that you already know? Why would want to go against destiny itself? Why bother when you already know the outcome of the case? Giving up is not an action that is supposed to be done, but it is an action that can be done. Then why not just give up and get on with life?

The loud buzz of my alarm clock woke me up from another bad dream. I could say that ringtone is always my saviour from the river of nightmare trying to drown me. "Gotta go now!" said my sister preparing breakfast for me. Why would I even bother wasting my time going into a building and just see everyone's gloomy faces that sank onto on the walls. The atmosphere is beyond my comprehension where even I, the smartest kid in school, or so I think, can't even write an essay about the benefit of this living hell.

Locking things in my locker is pretty much a routine. Saying good morning to those who doesn't reply might as well be added to the list. The shock of seeing the face that appears beyond my locker door as I close it. The only person that greets me with no hesitation, "Wassup, what you got in your baggy this time?" Gave him a little smirk and reply with a 'nothing'. The weight of his arm just got slammed down on my shoulder as I almost trip. Fortunately, we study in different classes. The only thing that entertained me was his face of disappointment when we have to go to our own classes.

I could say it's pretty fun spinning my pen around my thumb as I eagerly wait for the bell to free us from the sprays of the lecturer's saliva. There goes the bell and everyone just left without even a single word being spoken. I would have been lying if I said that I wasn't with the crowd.

I see most teenagers spent times together at a café drinking coffee at a very young age. The smiles carved on their faces just makes me wonder the conversation they are having, or is the coffee just that good. Might check that place that out someday. I stopped by a fruit shop and bought a few fresh, reddish shiny apple and why not some bananas.

Carrying the fruits in a plastic towards the medical building. As the door slides open in front of me, the injuries of the patients and the people who are being pushed around either on the bed or on the wheelchair still scares me until today. The feeling of getting locked inside a cube is not something I would ever understand. The smile on her face is the first thing I see when I open the door.

Throughout the whole day of boredom has been paid off just by a simple smile.

My face is smashed to the ground by a chained steel spiky ball. There was a hatred I felt racing through my blood. The weight of the steel ball was replaced with another weight of her foot. The evil laugh that exited her sound box gave me chills down my spine. The feeling of hatred kept overtaking my fear even though I have never met the somewhat demon-lady.

The area around us was on fire. I wouldn't call it hell but it felt like it never existed. The lady-demon was wearing an unbutton red coat with a chain coming down from her right shoulder to her left hips. She had rolls of stained white cloth covering her chest and her hips covered with just leather belt, a rather expensive one.

She had short dyed red hair. She had a two rings placed on her lips. A phoenix tattoo covered from her neck to her hips. The high heeled boots she was wearing was really piercing through my skull. I grab her legs in hope that I can fling her away from me as a chance for me to escape.

Or so I thought that would work. She was rather angry. She used her arms to grab onto my throat and used one of her long nails to gouge out my eyes. The pain was not something I could bear as my loud voice fill the whole fiery void. She wasn't very fond of that so she threw me to the ground. I could felt my backbone crack in two. She lifted up her knee and stepped on my throat. "Ah, doesn't that feel better…a little bit of peace and quiet," she exclaimed as she watched me splatter blood onto the ground.

'BUZZ! BUZZ!' Ah, seems like the hero was there to save me again from all this bullshit. It is sure something I don't want to experience every night in my life but I guess it's a guilt I did a few years ago…

Did my daily routine all over again, my life has been controlled by everyone and everything in my surrounding. Going with the flow of the world is what we humans are made to do. Following the trends and sharing gossips feels like a responsibility now.

There I am warming up my seat eavesdropping on all my (world-mates) about the famous artist and discussing about how jealous they are about the beauty of the school star. But it seems she haven't come to school in a while.

It seems she could not handle it and stopped. It was not like I could do anything. I should've been there for her. I was supposed to be the one to protect her but instead she…..

Blink of an eye, I was surrounded by fading people and seems like I am injured with a dislocated knee and a cracked head. Ah, I got into a fight with some idiots and they seemed to have weapon in their hands. The good old days. Getting in fights everyday was a thing for me. Having knuckles touching my cheek was a fun experience for me. I was known as the undefeated delinquent, but these people just got lucky as they had something in their hands. The world is not only unfair, but dirty huh? Not surprising at all.

"Mr. Watterson, I would prefer if you wouldn't take a nap in my class. Please stay up until the bell ring," said the infamous historian. Gave myself a slap in the face and continued to fulfil my existence.

Just a normal day as I am going to visit the hospital again. Of course I can't go without any fruits. Gotta keep whoever is in the hospital's diet healthy. A man covered my mouth and poke a knife at my back. Man, the generation now is really not very creative at all. They typically pulled me into a dark alley. Couldn't put me down graciously but instead threw me to the ground. They snatched away my bag of fruits and checked the contents of it. I guess they didn't like what they found so they threw away the plastic bag, "Hey, kid! I know you at least have fucking something in your pocket. Don't fucking try any monkey business. Just slowly take out your stuff and throw 'em to the ground." I sat down looking at the floor crying and being scared for my life. Just how fragile is a human feeling?

"Ay, boss, the fucking cops are 'ere! Let's hop," said the other person. They ran away and I know I am already safe, but it seems like I am still shivering while I kept my knee near my face. This just showed me how weak the humans are nowadays. But there was an unknown man in a black uniform went to chase the robbers. Damn, here I am running away but that person without hesitation just ran towards danger and even tried asking it to stop.

How are you not scared? Why do you just help someone else without even knowing them? Humans are so dumb.

Just judging from their appearance is making me sick, not to mention their conscience. But there is an amount of them who is actually good and commendable. Are you taught to help others? Would you actually help others even without being taught? Just for a brief moment, would you just help an old lady cross the road? Why do you help? It is not like they need it. Humans can just live in their own paths without crossing with others, wouldn't that bring world peace?

"Hey, what are you thinking about? Never seen you so concentrated into a blank space before," 'she' asked. "Ah, it's just that how idiotic humans are to help other people without hesitation, do they wished to become the hero and make a name for themselves?" I replied. "I haven't seen the real world for very long, but all I know is that humans are weak. They are always dependable on other people. Some idiots actually sat together and came out with the word 'independent' because in this world, not one can define it. Humans are so weak that they need to depend on other people, not saying physically, but mentally. You can lie to yourself however you want but there is no way to change a fact that is already set by Him."

I can't really believe the one talking is the same person I met a few hundred years ago, or so.

"Welcome home," as I heard when I closed the door. Another idiot who doesn't hesitate to greet me. "There is food on the table, make sure you eat them. Your precious sister made it with her own sweat and tears," she exclaimed. I then asked, "Hey, what would you feel if I never existed?"

There she is lying on the couch, holding a box of ice cream and pinning her eyes on the television. Well, I guess that answered it.

Unlike other kids, I don't have a phone. But I do have a desktop with trash Wi-Fi. So all I can do to let the time past is hold on the warmth of the cotton in my bed that has been trapped in by the heat which is being neutralized by the cold air flowing out of the air conditioner. The feeling as if something heavy is hanging from my eyes and the whisper of my brain to ask me to stop resisting the weight on my eyelids and just relaxed.

Unclear memory, blinking lights, moving figure, pain, depression, death, regrets…. But why? Why me….?

In 1854, a boy was sold by his parents to some insane scientists as they were poor. The boy didn't blame them for what they did as he understood it was for their well-being. Seems like having skins that is too bright is somehow illegal. I was skinned every day for those idiots to examine what made me this way. No food or drink was given. I have been treated as an object. And one day, seems like it's the end for me.

"Young one, thou art special. Thou shall live again," He commanded. I was angered, "Why bother giving me another life, so that you could sit up on your damned throne and making me entertain you with being tortured…" The sky roared, "Thou shut up!"

Then the next thing I knew, I was reborn again. This time I was born into a rich family. I was doted on and everyone followed my order. A spoiled kid was something I was called. Then I died again at the age of 9 as the ship I aboard sank.

Oh well, there is the All-Mighty again. But this time, He kept me for a little while and made me resurrect again in 1915. This time, something called a school is a place I need to go now. They said it is a place for us to study, but it seems like to me is a boxing ring. Got into fights every day. Coming home with bruises and seeing the worried face carved on my mom's face every time I open the door to my house.

I couldn't bear it and so I left the house without a single word. There I am a homeless teenager. One day, I've stolen a bread from a bakery, and the owner obviously didn't like that idea. So in order to avoid making this issue any larger, I killed the owner, or so I thought that would solve the loud noise he was making.

Jail was my destination after that. The law wasn't very strict then so I got out pretty quick. It turned out to be the bakery guy was a gang leader. So right after I got out, I got my ass beaten up. It was not a very pleasant experience.

I met the All-Mighty again and He wasn't happy with what I did. So He threw me out of the Gates of Heaven and straight down to hell.

There she came in the picture, stepping on my vocal cord so that I wouldn't hurt her ears with the echo that flow through the void. Somehow, I could still talk, "So, you think that you get to stay that way forever? The fact that you get to stay that way is because you were given authority to do that. We humans try our best to fucking live and make a name for ourselves, here you are enjoying your fucking lives doing whatever shits that happen." "Who said you could talk," she asked. My head was ripped apart from my body and was fed to her not-so-cute pet.

That beast had 3 heads and 6 legs. The feeling of getting mushed and dissolved by the acid of its stomach. Oh, seems like it was the end for me…

Then, who would've she knew how to bring people back to life, or recover my soul you can say. "What was it that you said just now?" she asked. I was bowing before her as she sat on a pile of dead bodies. "Why not we try something? I could ask the Lord to resurrect you but with a little twist. I will be there together with you and our destiny is already locked. We both will be born meek and weak, and let's see if what you actually exclaimed is true. Show me that you are capable of what you said."

Me shivering with fear, "Wha-what did I say?" "You did talk about how humans 'trying' to make a name for themselves. But I'll give you a little handicap, you only need to show ME that you are capable to make a name for yourself." "Who are you going to be?" I asked. She answered instantly, "Your spouse for life."

The next thing I knew, I was in the hands of a young lady who took care of me with love. Then she died, and her man left me and my sister.

Somehow, I survived through middle school and graduated to high school. There I am trying to finish my assignment. Then, a book was slammed on my table, "Hi, my name is Miko. Did you remember our deal last time? Well then, I will be in your care."

And that is how I got my fucked up life.