56 Chapter 56

We finally ended our practice all of us went to our dorms to rest

I wasn't feeling like going back to the dorms and so I walked anywhere just to relax my mind

Walking quietly on the clear path going to the beautiful gazebo

Such a beautiful white colored gazebo trees surrounding and flowers too

I walked there smiling to myself and amazed by these scenery that was in this novel

I then slowly walked towards the gazebo and sat down as wind gently touch me trees swaying with

I closed my eyes to feel the wind and the calming sound of swaying trees

Everything seems so peaceful

I thought to myself

Ever since I felt my death gets nearer... Would I be able to see this scene again?

I asked myself

Why is this so cruel... All I did was work in my previous life, I died without even achieving anything in that life

And now that I have reincarnated... I reincarnated into this dying character

I tried changing my fate, but it seems to not work...

Will I ever succeed in changing my fate?

I kept asking myself these questions I looked up to look up at the gazebo's roof wich was so clean and beautifully structured

I smiled gently to myself

"..."

So quiet... I like it...

As I kept on thinking I then remembered something

Josefina...

How is she?

In the novel it was written that she was quite loved by both parents and nothing else was said...

This novel is strange, and so I thought that what if Josefina's family isn't what was written in the novel?

What if she's having a hard time now?

All of this things... Her story wasn't conveyed exactly

Just like Athy's... To die a painful death

Killing for the sake of love

Athy was raised lovingly and she was a sweet child just like mother said

At such a young age to witness such horror, the death of her father must've scared her

I didn't know what happened next...

Athy couldn't have just turned like that if she was really taken care of

This wouldn't have happened...

!

I opened my eyes and jumped up as I thought something ridiculous

But really...

I have only heard of Miya and Mother's words, i'm not saying that they have been lying to me

But a child's behaviour wouldn't change that quickly if they were taken care of, especially after the death of Athys dear father

As mother said, she was grieving after the lost of father not only her but also the others

It was understandable that at the time maybe mother hadn't had the time to take care of Athy since she's also having a hard time

But leaving Athy all alone who needs someone by her side plus she's a victim too

And as Athy was feeling down, Claude might have been there for her but it wasn't enough to make Athy feel better

She needs someone like Mother to look after her

At that time Claude got confused and was being childish and because fo him Athy lost her life

And that is when I enter Athys body, hearing the news must have put Mother back to reality

I'm not sure if this really happened but, it actually make sense, if that was the case

Mother...

I kept on thinking about it and this question wouldn't stop on coming to my mind...

I clenched both of my fists troubled by those thoughts I have

"Sigh"

I sighed heavily, I sat down again and leaned my head back facing upwards with both of my hands on my lap fondling both of my hands together

There's a lot that wasn't answered... And a lot that I wanted to ask

Mother, Claude, Josefina, Cythe, and even Cosmo

I've been with them for a long time now and yet all of this confuses me...

Or is it that I don't want to know? Was I tired if knowing? Did I intentionally ignored it all?

"..."

All this time have I been thinking of only myself?

Was I too focused on my survival that even the promise I made to myself to find My and Athy's happiness is starting to crack

Or is it that... I want all of this to end? I was quite happy to have the people around me love and care for me, was I too spoiled?

Being cared and loved Wholeheartedly

And....

For years I have known that father's cousins have been harassing Mother for years about the Clothes shop

I was very eager to help her at first but as time went on I came to like the peace and to just rest

I... Ignored Mothers worries...

They spoiled me too much, no... I spoiled myself too much

Never to work, just to think of myself not like the past me

Always have to work hard, having restless nights, and even a day without eating

"Heh"

I chuckled softly mocking myself

"I'm not as kind as I thought I was..."

I whispered covering my eyes sighing deeply to myself

"I thought that I was the main character of this novel now... I acted all that and went greedy wanting all these attention all to myself"

Thinking, I found myself crying by the flooding thoughts that kept coming to me

I knew what was happening around me and yet I can't contain myself and ignored it all since I liked the peace I had now

I'm not perfect and happy as I thought I was...

Jealousy, sadness, anger....

"I hate myself....."

I whispered under my breath

As my head still leaning backwards looking up

When I suddenly felt someone's hand on my forehead

"What Kind of nonsense are you spouting now?"

Someone asked

I removed both of my hands from my face to see Cosmo standing looking down at me

"Why do you hate yourself?"

Cosmo asked in a confused tone, as he look down to me with a slightly worried look

"..."

I was too stunned to speak as I thought that I was the only one here

"..."

But without saying a word I just kept on staring at him blankly with my eyes puffy and red from crying

"Sigh"

Cosmo sighed heavily he raised his hand and flicked my forehead

*Tack!*

I flinched and sat up straight, I quickly touched my forehead because of the pain Cosmo had inflicted

"Ouch!"

I exclaimed

I stood up immediately and looked at him angrily

"What was that for?!"

I angrily asked

He just stared at me his hands in his hips and with a serious expression

"What kind of thought was that?"

Cosmo asked

I just stood there saying nothing and sat back down quietly

He followed me and sat down beside me quietly for a sec

"Would you like someone to talk to?"

Cosmo asked looking back at me

"Wow... You're awfully kind to today?"

I said jokingly

Without giving me a chuckle he stared at me seriously

"..."

I was shocked but then gave a grin I then stared back to my fidgeting hand that was on my lap

"You were already reading my thoughts why act that you don't know, you Chismoso?"

I asked joking a little

"Aisshhh!"

He scratched his head annoyed at me he then looked my way and gave an annoyed look

"We made a contract wether I like it or not I can feel your emotions, and so I got curious what you were thinking about"

I gave a surprised expression and smirked

"So in short you were worried?"

I said teasing him with my hand on my lips giggling to myself

He stared at me and gave a long pause and answered

"Yeah... I was...."

Cosmo answered calmly

"...."

Eh?

I was too shocked that I was left speechless, yes I've seen Cosmo serious but I thought that this time he would joke about it....

"You were?"

I asked

"Wich part of yeah I was did you not get?"

He answered annoyed

I pouted and mumbled

"I was just asking..."

Silence was there again

"Sigh"

Cosmo sighed with the wind

I took a peek at him, he who was seriously thinking about something his shiny black hair swaying with the gentle breeze of the wind

His red eyes glistening beautifully

"Why not talk it out?"

He said

"Talk what about?"

I asked

"Weren't you worried about the fact that your mother neglected the previous Athy? And if also Josefina is being treated nicely and if you Fathers cousin is still bothering your mother?"

Cosmo said

He then looked at me and asked

"Isn't this the kind of questions running through that tiny head of yours?"

Again... I was surprised by how seriously Cosmo thought of answering me

"Talk to them find the answer to your question and... Maybe even a little bit, those troubles that's been going through your head would go away"

Cosmo said

"What a very serious and heartfelt answer that was"

I giggled a little smiling happily

"W-what's the matter with that?!"

He exclaimed

I then raised my head still happily giggling to myself

To see his face flush red as he pouted a little scratching his cheeks softly

"And... We're friends so giving you advices like this is what a friend should do"

He said bashfully looking away from me

Wind then pass us gently touching our hair gently swaying it as I stared back at him slightly shy with my red cheeks looking at him surprised

I... Was glad that he treated me like a friend

I smiled gently back at him, even when he looks away from me to see his blushing ears makes me feel a lot better

"Yeah, i'll follow that advice"

I then sat back and looked up closed both of my eyes smiling feeling the wind

"That was a good advice"

I said

"Of course it was, I was the one who gave them!"

Cosmo exclaimed

Even without seeing his expression just by the way he says it, I can feel he's still embarrassed

And just as he mentioned we signed a contract, I just noticed but when you pay close attention I can feel how happy and glad Cosmo was when he gave me that advice

And so both of us sitting down in the gazebo silently feeling the wind freshly go by us

"And about you being selfish, you hadn't had the chance to be selfish in your previous life"

Cosmo suddenly spoke

"What's the matter being a little selfish? That's what make you human and you've already done so much in your past life... Just relax and enjoy you new life"

I opened my eyes and looked at Cosmo who was closing his eyes beside me

I gave a smile with a little tear falling out, i'm glad He was here with me...

Peacefully, just the two of us...

To be Continued...

Chismosa/Chismoso - someone who listens to your conversations/ someone who badly wants to hear any news wether it's fake or true just to get that information (Same as Eavesdropping)