Here is some advice for your stories if you want :
Most important (I think) is that you stay with the baseline and don't go too far. The MC is just a man who got transmigrated in a cultivational world and his job is to be a therapist for cultivators and treat their inner demons. Simple as that.
And follow his personality. I think I like him with his little roleplaying theme. It would be fun if he go heaven and beyond in his role-play talking non-sense after non-sense but others believe him xD.
You can also make the inner demon more special, make the MC not magically treat the inner demon, but through multiple sessions of therapy.
Develop other characters via short stories describing their life.
You can even not center the story on the protagonist but take some time on its patient.
How did they develop their inner demon? How do they live with it? How does it affect them? How does the protagonist treat the inner demon?
It would be great if you do something like an arc for every patient.
And that you address true problems like depression, PTSD, schizophrenia, paranoia, bipolarity, Psichopaty, Obsession. Things like that.
It could emphasize the character, add depth to them without taking too long.
You could focus your story on the therapy session. The dialogue between the MC and his patient. Because therapy isn't just "I have an incense
that makes you sleep, so no more insomnia".
No, there is a reason behind his insomnia, something like he can't breakthrough, so he has anxiety and can't sleep.
You would need to speak with him about his anxiety. If you don't find a good reason for him to do that just use plot armor;) and tell something like "The MC is so mysterious, he knows so much thing, maybe I will talk with him and know what is wrong with me." Good use of plot armor exist, I believe but too much is too much. So be aware.
Don't just treat the MC and the System like a pharmacy but like a true Therapies clinic. Inner demons in the cultivational world are basically just Mental illnesses.
If you do well, your book could be really good. But take your time and don't make too much pressure on yourself, it would have a bad result on you and the book.
As you said in the synopsis :
"This is a story for me to become better at writing, so I haven't put much thought into the story. This is my first time writing a story with chapters to it, so please be kind and offer constructive criticism instead of just saying the story's trash." So here I am.
If you want to become better at writing. I think you need to write a real book with a storyline that you like and do your best to follow it without diverging from the main theme. It's your first book so don't worry too much just do your best and have fun writing it. Most important have fun writing your story.
Also from what hive read so far your grammar, dialogue construction, phrasing, and Storytelling are pretty good from what little, I have seen.
I didn't think I would write so much. Anyway good stories so far 👍. Continue like that.
PS: if you want to follow what is written above, it's up to you. I will not be mad if you don't follow my advice. I will just be sad😃.
