Chapter 10 - A Bad Nightmare

Theodore had a dream, a terrible dream.

...

Theodore saw himself in the path when he chose to go to the Roxarth Academy and had a bad life due to his mediocre talent.

He witnessed other students of the same age continue to advance to a higher rank mana user while he struck at the same level.

He tried harder and harder in practice but could not progress until he was in despair.

The teachers and the surrounding students disdained and isolated him.

He could not seek help or know who to ask for support.

His mother and father had already disappeared; they chose to leave him behind for their significant other.

His uncle, Dante Hale, did everything possible to make him suffer. He was one root of his misery.

His mother's family, who had enough influence to help him, abandoned him because they could not see his value.

He saw himself taking various precious treasures from his guardian, Nathan Ashford, but still barely made progress in his cultivation.

He graduated from the Roxarth Academy with difficulty, only to find himself being left wandering independently.

He caught the death of Nathan Ashford; this time, he was truly alone.

He needed to escape for his life to survive, leaving his home, the Colond city, and the Sorrel kingdom.

He witnessed himself struck with various hopeless bottlenecks with no solution.

He traveled and struggled to find chances for improvement, only to be disappointed in the end.

He used to have friends he trusted, but they either died or betrayed him for profit.

At first, his heart ached; however, when he experienced it repeatedly, he no longer felt any pain.

When his trusted allies left him one after another until no one was beside him, he dared not to have the confidence to believe in anyone anymore.

He could only rely on himself; he was his only greatest reliance.

He was injured over and over again in the deadly battles until he was numb to the pain.

He once hoped someone would be beside him, but only to find he had no one.

After encountering countless tribulations, he later became a 4th-rank mana user and returned to Colond city, hoping to have a home again.

He then saw himself screaming in despair at the ruins of the Colond city, where not even a corpse remained, and his hope shattered again.

He no longer dared to have any expectations; he did not want to be disappointed again.

He had no courage to ask for love or happiness; he felt he did not deserve it.

His life was born to be miserable.

He spent his life for revenge, trying to find the mastermind behind the destruction of the Colond city.

He found nothing.

It was his fault; everything was his fault.

He just hoped someone would kill him and end his miserable life.

He was numb; he joined wars to fight with the enemies of humanity, hoping to die with some meaning to his life.

He, nevertheless, survived again and again.

He faced countless deaths of people surrounding him, but he never died.

Wars after another war did not just numb him but also the people around him. He was not despairing alone; everyone was in despair with him.

He witnessed the land of the human side shrink inch by inch. The Battles only resulted in the loss of the human side.

Eventually, in the last battle with the remaining humans, he finally fulfilled his wish to die meaningfully.

...

Theodore did not have any regret.

He did not regret being left behind by his parent. He had already tried his best; he deserved it.

He did not regret not having a high talent for cultivating mana. He had already tried his best; he deserved it.

He did not regret not becoming a powerful mana user. He had already tried his best; he deserved it.

He did not regret witnessing the death of Nathan Ashford. He had already tried his best; he deserved it.

He did not regret escaping his life from his home and wandering around to survive. He had already tried his best; he deserved it.

He did not regret that he could not solve his countless bottlenecks and not make any progress in cultivation. He had already tried his best; he deserved it.

He did not regret having no one beside him. He had already tried his best; he deserved it.

He did not regret coming late, only to witness the destruction of Colond city. He had already tried his best; he deserved it.

He did not regret not finding the mastermind who destroyed Colond city. He had already tried his best; he deserved it.

He did not regret not having a home. He had already tried his best; he deserved it.

He did not regret not being able to win the war for humanity. He had already tried his best; he deserved it.

He did not regret dying. He had already tried his best; he deserved it.

He really... had no regret.

...

Did he really not regret it?

Did he deserve such a life?

Theodore found that he could not answer such questions truthfully.

Somewhere in his heart, he felt reluctant to accept this reality.

...

Theodore witnessed screen after screen showing his miserable life.

He wanted to close his eyes and ignore everything, but he could not.

'Help me. Anyone, please help me.' Theodore whispered to himself in despair.

...

Nathan was practicing in his room. He no longer had to sleep at his level and would rather spend his time on cultivation.

He then sensed a despairing feeling rise in Theodore's room.

He quietly came to Theodore's side and saw his disciple crying heavily in his sleep with his hand clenching the doll beside him tightly.

Nathan frowned at the sight of his disciple's depression from the nightmare.

He found that he had no satisfactory solution.

He developed his power by focusing on controlling the various senses; he had no supernatural skills in dreams and mental health.

He searched in his storage artifact and found nothing helpful, so he could only transfer mana into a fire element bead to give off warmth and put it inside the doll.

Feeling a warm feeling, Theodore hugged the doll tightly; his expression eased.

์Nathan saw Theodore calm down; he waited for some time, and his disciple remained tranquil.

He returned to his room but continued using his senses to investigate Theodore's situation occasionally.

Nathan did not know what Theodore had gone through but decided to teach this disciple well so that he would have a bright future.