4 4 Do you like me?
March 2013,
I ignore Mason calls and text for the past two weeks. I know it's rude but I don't want to think about him.
Today Mason texted me another message and I check it. It says he's in the park and he's waiting for me. Honestly, I am so hopeless right now it's been half a month I haven't seen him and he's waiting for me. I decided to talk with him, I am curious as hell and might as well get over with it.
Mom and dad went away for a business trip and I am alone with Pororo today. I lie about doing schoolwork with Georgie in her home and went to our town park where Mason is.
When I reach there Mason is sitting in the swing tilting his head up at the sky. It hurts to see him and I miss him so much. I sat beside him silently and wait for him to acknowledge me. He seems to be in deep thought ;
I take a quick glance at him and It takes a lot of willpower not to hug him.
"Lyra "
Hearing him say my name again I feel like laughing and crying at the same time. I don't know what's with Mason to affect me this much.
I take a deep breath and mumble " Yeah".
I don't know what's wrong but he seems to be in lost of words.
" Mason " I take a deep breath and blinking back tears I decided to have this talk as quickly as possible go home and read my novels. It's so so awkward for me waiting for him to broke it off.
I continue" Mason do you still like me??"
He seems taken by my outburst and looks irritated and that's not a good sign.
" Lyra what's wrong with you ?? Have I ever said I don't like you anymore? What's wrong with you? All this time I call you, text you and all you do is ignore me and you have the audacity to ask me that. Are you nuts???"
I am frozen, being shock is an understatement I am Suddenly mute, I just stare at him. Well, to be honest, he has never told me that he likes Jennifer and I feel bad about it.
" Mason I am sorry"
"Why"
" Because.. because Oliver told me that you like Jennifer and Gosh I'm sorry"
" So, now you trust Oliver???" Mason asks looking irritated.
" I .. " he cut me off by hugging me tightly, I feel so happy, Mason hugging me is a first. I feel so safe, warm and If possible I fell for him harder.
" Mason do you??" I can't complete my question.
" I don't like Jennifer Okay .Lyra I told you I like you . I don't have time to think about Jennifer when all I think is about shorty". he says chuckling to himself.
I burst out laughing at his words.
" Shorty?? But I am cute. "
" Same excuses for short people"
" Don't make fun of me "
" My choice "
I stick my tongue out and smack his chest. It feels like my heart is so free and I am happy I talk with Mason today.
After we talk and stay for another half hour I went home and stay in my bed replaying our laughs, talks and hugs.
I am happy because Mason and I are okay for now.
March 2016,
School is so hectic and I haven't seen Mason for the whole week but we talk and text at night.
We were close than before. It's March and soon Mason would be in university and wish times stops ..at least for a month.
April 2013,
Mason went for college. Mason went away. I don't know what to feel. I know that he will be gone but I don't expect him to move so far away.
It kills me because Mason is older than me and I still have 3 years to complete my high school. IAM TOO SAD TO CRY. GOODNIGHT.
April 2013,
It's been two weeks Mason went away. Goodnight.
May 2013,
Long-distance is futile it's hopeless and sad.
Mason call me twice since he left. I don't wanna be clingy but I can't help but feel so lonely.
All my insecurities are eating me up.
We haven't talked about how far we can go on but I just know I am not ready to let go of whatever we have. Goodnight.
May 2013, 2
It's my birthday but Mason hasn't wished me. It's 11:50 now 10 more minutes it will be May 3.
Honestly, I am no sadder. I am just disappointed. Goodnight.
May 2013,
I am trying so hard these days. I don't want to think of him. Goodnight.
May 2013,
He calls me today but I don't get to talk with him. .Goodnight.
May 2013,
He left me 16 texts with 10 miscalls. Goodnight.
June 2013,
I miss him. Goodnight
July 2013, 4
"Happy birthday Mason"
"Thanks, Lyra"
"You're welcome "
"How have you been?"
"Great. You??"
"College is a lot of work but I am great"
"Cool, Well I have to go"
"Sure bye"
I wish him today. Goodnight.
December 2013,
I am scared of December now. I think about him again. Goodnight.
December 2013,
He wishes me Merry Christmas. Guess he's lonely too. He didn't come for the holidays. I am sad but I felt relief. Goodnight.
December 2013,
I want December to go away. It reminds me of last year. It's too lonely, I feel like he is with me always but that's only my wish. Goodnight.
January 2014,
It's a new year and I miss him more. It's been several months but I feel hopeless now.
What if I can't be over him?
I feel week and pathetic.
I am scared of all the possibilities of still missing and loving him.
Maybe it's the season. Yeah.
Goodnight.
December 2014,
It's another Christmas. I almost think about him. Goodnight.
December 2015,
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO Me.
Goodnight.
January 2015,
It's my senior year. I can't wait to be in college and move away. YAY!!!! me.
Goodnight.
January 2015,
Bad day
I hate it. MASON HAS A GFFFFFF.
I cried. I know it's the end now. Mason part in my life is over.
Sorry, I think a lot about him today.
Just tonight. I promise no more Mason
I miss him a lot who am I kidding!!
Just tonight, I'll miss him.
Tonight I'll cry and no more.
I can't sleep.
March 2015,
WHAT
THE
FUCKK
MASON HAS A NEW GIRLFRIEND. ????
April 2015,
Bye.
Goodbye.
September 2015,
I have already bid goodbye but I promise it's the last time I am writing about Mason.
Mason came home last week and I met him today. Actually, his cousin invites me for dinner because we finish our high school last month together. Romeo and I went to a different school but we were quite close he's the total opposite of Mason. Although they look alike, Mason doesn't talk much but Romeo talks a lot.
I really don't want to go today because I know Mason will be there. I feel so so nervous, It's so awkward thinking about it.
When I reach Romeo home, Romeo hugs me and invite me in. I tried my best smiling with the fakest smile. Maybe it looks like I am in constipation but I care no less about that.
I went to the living room and almost gasp. Mason is talking intimately with Mr Connor, Romeo dad. I pray to God they won't notice me but luck has always been unfair with me. Mr Connor looks up and smiles warmly, of course, I smile too. Mason glanced up and we froze. He rakes his eye up and down and looks at me with the warmest smile I ever see.
I don't think I have never been in this kind of situation before the guy I once love is here with me in the same room smiling at me. If I cry everyone would think I am crazy so with I wave at him and smile.
" Hey, Lyra" Mr Connor greeted me.
" Hi Mr Connor, Thank you for inviting me"
" YOU'RE Lyra right??"
It takes a second to realize Mason just ask me that question. I mean he just asks my name. Is he serious??.
I just went along with him and say " yes"
First of all OUCH I was like did that just happen? My first love asking my name. I didn't see that coming I don't have the will to talk with him anymore.
Dinner went well actually solely because I never look at Mason again.
I went home and shed a single tear because no matter how much I deny Mason invaded my mind for two whole years. I feel so small and pathetic crying over him again.
So I am writing this once
I HATE MASON ADAMS,
I hate him for liking him in the first place,
I hate him for liking me,
I hate him for leaving me,
I hate him for being older than me,
I hate mason Adams,
I hate his smile,
I hate his hugs, his promises, his smiles ., I hate how he invades my mind even when he doesn't try,
I hate how every morning he is the one I think of;
I hate him because he's the last person I think of every night,
I hate him for coming back,
And I hate him because I am scared to fall in love. AGAIN.
I don't think I can love someone as I Love him.
Even after these years the moment I saw him again I shed tears unwillingly and I hate everything about Mason.
