Yes, it's because of me

Early in the morning, Kaia suddenly chocked while brushing when she saw Miri and Louis acting all lovey dovey. This organization is so confusing and weird . Here rooms, spaces, halls kitchen everything is in very weird position. Bathroom is just beside the balcony which isn't part of any bedroom, the balcony is just here and anybody can come here to rest. And the bathroom is just bathroom with no attached toilet. This place looks like a place designed by a drunk Interior designer. 

Because of this weird place Kaia saw all that early in the morning. She saw it by mistake but continued to see by her own will. She was a kind of surprised. Even Louis??

She went to her room slowly escaping from that place. Actually Louis and Miri weren't doing anything that can't be seen but just hugging each other and kissing on the lips. That's it!!

But Kaia didn't want to disturb them so, she slowly escaped. 

Miri is such a lucky girl. She have someone to love and have so many who loves her. I won't say that I want to be like her..... but I envy her so much. Look at my situation and look at her. We are so different, she is so loved by others and I have to seek for love. 

Kaia knows that she shouldn't see herself as the only one in this world who is suffering alone but she knew that she wasn't in very pleasant situation as well. She just wanted her normal life back and wanted to see her friend Ali, her sister Jennie and her nana. They are the people who will actually be worried for her. Her tears rolled down her cheeks and she suddenly realized that even though she is hopeless for her life, deep down she wants to live. She don't want to die. She want to breath freedom. 

Kaia felt that she also have right to choose the way she want to live her life. When she saw people of her age living their life why can't she live her life. While thinking about her miserable life, she felt that life is so unfair for her. 

The whole day has passed and Kaia is still thinking about her life. The more she thinks about it the more she feels sad. Kia entered her room and called Kaia but she didn't responded so he left. These days Kaia was allowed to join Kai and other people for lunch and dinner. But today Kaia didn't go to their mess hall ( the place where people eat their food, especially soldiers)

Kai was surprised to see that the girl who use to roam around the whole place and reach their mess hall before everyone, isn't present there today. "is she sick?" someone in the hall said but don't know if they were talking about Kaia but he became worried. He was about to leave the hall to check on Kaia but suddenly their Madam entered the hall and sat on the centre chair.

" Today is the day which I like the most in the whole year. Today is our 15th anniversary. Even though I am your boss and I want you to do the things which I want but without your cooperation it wasn't possible. Our work is a little bit shady but we do what we were doing. World has it's own ways to look at the situation. other thinks that this work is not good where we think that this is not bad. For us we are good and for others they are good, but nobody knows who is actually good or bad. I hope you won't regret doing this work in your life because it gives you your life. Always respect this work. You have 1 more year left for your retirement but who are still capable can again join in another group and I hope you know that and hope to see you again and again. Work with passion no matter what you do."

***everyone applauded***

Miri and Madam sits and after them everyone sits. Today everything was special. The food, the atmosphere and Miri. Everyone was happy so as Kai. He forgot about Kaia.

Kaia was sitting on her bed in the dark room only moonlight could come in. She was sad and she knew that sitting in this way was a kind of dangerous sign of getting sick. But she wasn't hungry nor wanted to do anything. She just wanted to sit quietly and look at the lake. The water in the lake was still and that made her more sad for some reason. She didn't wanted to do anything and again another thought came across her mind and that was what if she ends her life here. Will she be able to born again and in a very nice family where she could get enough love and care, where people would notice her existence and search for her if she goes missing. Again a drop of tear falls on her cheeks.

Louis wasn't in the mess hall because he had to meet one of their client. So, when he came back, he directly headed to mess hall. But he wanted to check Kaia. He just wanted to see her. He didn't know why but eventually went to her room. She was staring out of the window and looking upward towards the moon. He could not see her face. He walked in her room while calling her name but she didn't even look at him. He got curious and walked towards her and saw tears falling down her cheeks. But no expression. As if Kaia wasn't feeling anything at that moment. She was so much lost in her thoughts that she was unaware about her physical reaction. 

After seeing Kaia acting like that Louis's eyes widened and his heart Shrunk. He immediately realized that Kaia was having mental breakdown. She wasn't reacting that way other people reacts while being kidnapped and everybody was shocked about that but the truth is she was unaware about her own situation, she wasn't aware that compared to other people of her age, her friends, her family, she was living the most miserable life. 

Louis then gently sat beside her and first of all held her hands. Kaia blinked her eyes as she felt the warmth. She looked at Louis who was smiling at her. She slowly realized that she was lost in her thoughts.....those sad thoughts, After looking at someone smiling at her, she felt happy. She felt like if she says about her pain to that person then they will listen to her patiently. The corner of her lips wrinkled and then started to cry out loud. 

Louis pulled her into his arms and patted her head and let her cry. louis thought that even though he knows about her because he had followed her for 2 years so he knows about her situation but Kaia herself never told about her life to him. This thought made him very sad. It made him think that Kaia don't trust him. But again another thought hit his head, why would she trust me when I am the one who brought her here. She doesn't trust me. Did she share her problems with Kai...?

Kaia raise her head and finally realized that she was crying on Louis's arm and spoiled his shirt. She wiped her tear stain from Louis's white shirt but it left stain. " I am sorry, I will wash that off. You can leave your shirt here."

" you want me to take off my shirt now?"

"No!! not now"

Kaia looked away. Both of them were confused of that situation so both of the looked away. Louis then while scratching back of his neck asked, " Did you have your dinner?" 

"No" she answered.

Thank god he didn't ask about my crying. Even I don't know why..... Kaia thought. 

 "let's go then. Todays is special day....." "....not for you guys but us. "said in very low voice.

" what is so special?"

" YOU don't have to know, what do you like to eat the most?"

"chicken....sniff.."

" can you wash your face and calm yourself down, Otherwise others will misunderstand that I did something to you so you cried."

" But that's true...hehe just joking. okay"

That thing pinched his heart...Yes, it's because of me...