my heart...

"Kaia, where did you go after the program?" Felix said. He was looking at me. I was feeling like I am a big traitor. I had feelings for him before but now I have started to think about another guy.

"brother Felix, I was not feeling well so I went home,"

"wait, brother? I said you call me just by my name. And are you okay now?" he said.

he caught my hand and said" if you were not feeling well then you would have said me. I am disappointed, you don't trust me."

I feel more guilty. I can't stop myself from liking him.

I said," I am sorry."

"no need to...oh, mina," Felix waved to a girl.

A-vi suddenly came from somewhere and said, "Kaia, our class is about to start, let's go."

A-vi pulled me. I am upset but A-vi seemed serious. at lunch break, he was nice to me. And who was that girl? She was beautiful. Is she Felix's girlfriend?

I would look so dumb if I had said him about my feelings at that time.

Thank God.

I am cleaning the classroom and I always do it. I am tired as well but today I don't want to do anything not because of tiredness. It's a different feeling. I cannot stop myself to think about that girl. Is she his girlfriend?

~cool~

why am I feeling so cold?

oh! A-vi is also here. I didn't notice him. I have lost my mind. My first crush and that go in vain.

(completely forgot about A-vi and that incident of fresher's day.)

"let's go to the terrace after this," A-vi said to me.

I didn't even look at him and said," okay."

I wanted to ask "why?" but I know he won't answer.

ON THE TERRACE...

(still thinking about Felix and that girl.)

was I that serious about Felix? I can't stop thinking about him.

" Are you okay?" A-vi slightly pulled my coat and said.

"yes, why did..." awkward silence. he was looking at me with a serious look. I remembered that embarrassing moment between us.

I looked towards other buildings of our school and said," why did you call me?"

He came closer to me and said," you avoid me and you don't look at me properly. I guess you are feeling uncomfortable around me. If this goes on, neither of us can stay happily. I want to make it clear to you that I like you. I want you to tell me clearly that you don't like me at all or tell me that you also like me. if you don't like me then I will never bother you."

Never bother me? I don't know why but I felt like my heart broke when he said that he won't bother me. it feels like I don't want it. I felt so pressured. I can't say a word but tears from my eyes started to fall without any reason.

wait, am I having feelings for two guys at the same time? What am I doing? How to know which is my true feeling?

is my feeling towards A-vi is just because of the kiss that he left on my forehead?

A-vi looking at me for my answer but I don't know what to tell him.

So I said," I don't know. Before that day, I never felt anything for you. I already have a crush on someone and I just knew that he has a girlfriend. Right now you can't trust my feeling but..." before I say something more he hugged me tightly. For a moment I forgot everything. I forgot that this world exists. The warmth of this body was giving me a magical feeling. For a moment I thought I don't need anyone, I just wanna stay like this forever. I became greedy and didn't push him backward.

" I never thought someone will be honest with me. I have always been cheated by everyone whom I trust. I never thought that a girl will tell me not to trust her after telling her true feelings. This is why I love you." he said and slowly released me from his arms.

I saw his face, he was crying. I guess he recalled his past bad memories. Before I say something he went down.