2 Cock Slam
"So, it really is that big," Jake whimpered with a painful smile, curled up like a pill bug. "And that voice! I recognize it. The next thing it's going to say is: Would you like to go through the tutorial or skip it for now?"
"Would you like to go through the tuto—"
"No, skip."
"Are you certain? You can always replay tutorials at any time by asking the system."
"Well, if I can replay it anytime, then of course I'll skip."
"Understood. Please enjoy your time at Bladecraft Infinity."
With that out of the way, Jake glanced around for potential monsters. The first encounter during the tutorial region was forest slimes. They were fairly harmless on their own, but groups of them could prove dangerous. Their attacks were rather potent but easy to dodge, but if there were enough slimes to surround you, it'd be game over.
More formidable creatures lurked deeper in the forest, but players couldn't access the area before reaching level 3, meaning the tutorial itself could take hours for complete novices.
"I'd better be grinding slimes then," he thought, walking down the forest path. "Anyway, how do I even access my interface? Clicking E on a keyboard would open it, but reality doesn't have a floating keyboard."
Thinking back to the original game, he recalled that characters would always place their right hand on their solar plexus whenever the interface opened. It was these small details that set Bladecraft apart from other MMORPGs.
As he tried it, a neon blue panel emerged, showing his inventory, levels, and avatar with the buttons to view abilities, stats, quests, and other aspects unlocked at higher levels.
"Ha, I don't need a tutorial," he giggled.
Jake continued down the path until he a rustling sounded in the bush to his left. He quickly jogged towards it through the lush foliage and the fresh soil. As he peeked his head through a gap, he made eye contact with a cluster of forest slimes.
"Fooouuund you!" he exclaimed, pushing the leaves away to get closer and counting them. "Two, four, six, eight… There are eight of them."
The slimes immediately began hopping toward him, initiating combat. It's common around this time the system would teach you about abilities, as it's nearly impossible to fight off eight slimes as a level 1 player.
Therefore, Jake drove his fist to the grass, just like in-game, to use the starter ability, Ground Slam, only to be greeted with an anticlimactic punch.
"It isn't working?" he thought, slamming his fist down again. "Did I get the movement wrong? No, I'm sure it's like this.
When the forest slimes got in range, the nearest one engaged with a headbutt, aiming after his nutsack. Jake instinctively raised his arm, barely blocking its attack and flinging it away. "Impossible! Can it sense weak spots? But too bad, you should know a real man has primal instincts for protecting his crotch!" he laughed, pointing at the slime he blocked.
As the other slimes got closer, Jake began backing off while opening his interface. He navigated to the abilities tab to check what was going on.
Abilities:
[Cock Slam - Lvl. 1.]
You have 0 ability points.
"Co-cock slam? What the hell?"
He hovered his finger over the question mark next to the skill, hoping it would give him some clarity.
ACTIVE: The player performs a front flip and slams their cock mid-air, dealing physical damage. All enemies hit will be slowed by 35% for 4 seconds.
"A front flip? I can't do that; I've never done one," he thought, still baffled by his starter ability.
Suddenly another panel appeared.
"Notice—the system has detected the player requires guidance. Would you like a hint?"
"Yes, please."
"To kill the slimes, perform Cock Slam."
"Huh? Is this system for real? No shit, but how?"
"Perform Cock Slam."
"Yeah, I know, but how do—"
"Perform Cock Slam."
"Fine! I'll try it. You say that one more—"
"Perform Cock Slam."
Jake dashed toward the forest slimes, jumping as high as he could with Cock Slam in mind. It was as if his body controlled itself when it executed a perfect front flip while pulling his pants down. With the momentum of the flip, his schlong abruptly tripled in size, crashing down upon the pitiful slimes.
The attack left a deep dent in the ground, engraving his penis form in the dirt. And as for the slimes? Boom, reduced to ash.
You have gained 40 EXP.
Progression toward level 2: [28 EXP/28 EXP]
You've reached level 2.
Progression toward level 3: [12 EXP/39 EXP]
You have gained 1 ability point.
"Whaaaatt?" Jack shouted, looking at his genitalia, which had fortunately shrunk back to its original size. "Even two ground slams early on wouldn't kill a forest slime, and my dick just one-shot them all? System, what's with my abilities?"
"If you had gone through the tutorial, you would know," answered the system.
"Fine. Play the tutorial but cut out all the unnecessary stuff."
"Now, playing: The tutorial."
A panel emerged, showing a feature unheard of in Bladecraft.
These are the elements you're familiar with. Each ability has one or multiple elements assigned. For example, Ground Slam is assigned Earth as an element. In the original version of Bladecraft, you could use abilities of all elements with equal power.
However, in Bladecraft Infinity, the player is limited to the mastery of a single element. Of course, they can still use abilities assigned to other elements, but the effect will be weaker.
"Okay, I understand, but what doesn't that mean for me?" Jake asked, clicking the okay button on the panel. "Why the hell do I have Cock Slam?"
You have been blessed with the secret element—Lust. Therefore the system granted you Cock Slam instead of the default Ground Slam.
"Lust? Hmm, what a weird element. But if it's that strong, then I'll take it with pleasure."
Please open your interface, navigate toward the abilities tab and upgrade your ability.
Jake opened up his abilities and checked Cock Slams' stats once again. "A 35% slow is pretty good, so I guess it's worth upgrading," he thought. While he spent his ability point, another panel overlapped it.
Upgrading your ability to level 10 evolves it to a stronger variation.
You have reached the end of the tutorial. Please reach level 3 to continue.
As he walked down the same forest path in search of more slimes, his mind began to wander. If something as bizarre as Cock Slam is the starter ability, then what else could his lust element offer?
"I sure hope it doesn't affect my sex life," he thought.
