webnovel

Chapter 2

Henry woke up the next day to the sound of his alarm blaring, looking down he saw that he'd fallen asleep in his costume… ugh, and it was covered in rat blood and sewage from when he had to go through the damn sewers just to get away from those vermin.

Getting out of bed, Henry stripped out of his costume, and put it into the laundry. He then blearily looked at himself in the mirror, checking himself out. Mainly to see if he still had everything intact.

There was his long curly blond hair, his bright blue eyes, the scar over his right eye from… who knows how long ago. Hell, he barely remembered how he got it… a bar fight? A crazy ex-girlfriend? A car accident? Some sort of botched experiment by a mad scientist to give him robot eyes giving him the scar? A monkey with a bow and arrow? A cooking accident? Who knows… certainly not him.

But, what he was happiest with, was the fact that he looked as he usually thought he did, which was good.

Then, he began to think back to… that terrifying, rat-filled night.

He'd fought his first Supervillain… beaten him too, but had to spend the rest of the night trying to get the hell away from those damn rats. And once again, wound up in the Goddamn sewers.

Thankfully, he hadn't run into Batman or any of his sidekicks… again.

Batgirl… or Black Bat… or Orphan, whatever the hell her name was, was fucking terrifying.

Especially with the way she tied him up on the roof of some random building, and tried to play charades with him during the interrogation… and when he told her he was a hero? She just left him on the damn roof.

Thankfully he had his hands on the brick roof, and was able to transform his arms and turn them into blades to cut out of the rope, but that still took half an hour… what the hell are their ropes made of?

After that day, he started wearing his bracelets, so he would be less likely to be caught… well, basically unarmed.

But, enough of that, he had to get ready for his work. He's only got an hour to get there… traffic's absolutely killer in Gotham at this time. And there's no way he'd walk, no matter how close it it, not with the damn crime rate, and him wanting to keep his identity a secret.

So, Henry had a shower, got dressed in a simple shirt and pants as he knew he was going to be in a different uniform when he got to work, had a quick breakfast of bacon and eggs, took his medication for his… problems, making everything around him a lot clearer and less muddled, and then he got in his car, a green, slightly damaged 17 Porsche 944, and drove straight to work.

And hey, he was only harassed on the way to work twice. Looks like today will be a relatively decent day.

Well, now that he thought that, something will probably go wrong… but hopefully nothing actually bad happens today.

…And he just taunted Murphy, didn't he? Fucking hell.

"Welcome to Bat Burger, how can we take your order?" Henry asked, as he was dressed up as Nightwing… even though he was blond, and looked nothing like Nightwing did.

But, according to the other employees and even his manager, Karen… he had the best ass, so he had to be Nightwing.

"Yeah, can I get some Flash Fries, a Batburger Deluxe Oversized, a box of ten-piece Robin Nuggets, two KGBLT's, some Bat-Fries, three Bat-Sodas, two Polka Dot Pizzas, some Bane Breadsticks… with the Bat Broken, two Question Quesadillas, a Harley Burger, a Hatter Hotdog, and… an Ivy Salad. Oh, and can I have the Flash Fries Jokerized?" The man in front of him asked with a grin, his large stomach jiggling with every movement, as Henry noticed that there wasn't anyone with him.

"Sure… that'll be $49.99, sir" Henry said, inputting the order into the machine, as he simply felt dead inside. He honestly didn't like working this dead end job… but, nobody else was willing to hire him.

"Yeah, here you go. Just make it fast" The man said, as he handed the money over, as Henry gave the order over to the cooks, Mitchell and Arnold.

"Are you kidding me? How much is that guy going to eat!?" Mitchell said as he grabbed the order with a look of shock and slight disgust on his face, "He was literally here two hours ago. Jesus… it's like he's addicted to our food or something"

"Hey, it's not our place to decide what our customers eat, how much, or even when… we just do the order as quickly as possible" Arnold said, as he patted Mitchell on the back in a placating manner, as they got to cooking the frankly large amount of food for the man.

With that, Henry got back to work serving customers, most of whom just wanted some simple quick meals on the go. Though there was one woman that couldn't help but pinch his ass… She was swiftly kicked out of the store, as Bat Burgers had a strict no harassment policy for any of the employees. Though she would probably be a problem down the line, if what she was saying about 'suing us for all we're worth for daring to manhandle her' wasn't just hot air.

But, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Arnold "Breaking the Bat" of the Bane Breadsticks, by snapping them in half, and Mitchell "Jokerizing" the previous man's meal, adding powdered green cheese and spicy ranch to the man's fries.

He honestly has no idea how anyone could stomach that stuff… the last time he tried some Jokerized Fries, he had to go to the damn hospital.

He was in a coma for three damn days… and some people just scarfed that shit down like it's nothing. It's honestly both horrifying and fascinating to watch…

But other than that, it was a relatively normal day at Batburger, and the store was about to close up, at least until… everything seemed to darken more than it was before, outside… as a hulking figure in a trench coat and fedora walked into the fast food joint.

He looked Henry directly in the eyes, and that's when he saw the man's face…

A stone-like, craggy face, with bright orange angry eyes, and a stern expression, along with the manliest horseshoe mustache Henry had ever seen in his life.

That was… that was motherfucking Darkseid. With a fucking horseshoe mustache and a trench coat.

What in the goddamn fuck was that!?

"W-what can I get you sir?" Henry asked fearfully. Sure, he had powers but this? This was Darkseid, the man (and it could be debated whether or not he even counts as a 'man') who made Superman his bitch.

"I would like…" Darkseid started as he looked over the menu, and oh dear God was his voice terrifying, a mixture of booming, gravelly, and baritone that sent shivers down Henry's spine, "The Darkseid Extra Dark Dark Chocolate Molten Lava Apokalypse Kake"

"Y-Yeah, got it" Henry said, as he put the order into the machine, and fearfully stared Darkseid in the eye, "Th-that'll be $20"

"...Fine" Darkseid said, as he… rummaged around in his pocket, and gave Henry the $20, before sitting in a nearby booth for his chocolate cake.

"Alright guys, we need the Darkseid Extra Dark Dark Chocolate Molten Lava Apokalypse Kake! O-on the double!" Henry shouted out to Mitchell and Arnold, causing the two men to groan.

"Oh, who the hell ordered the goddamn-" Mitchell started, as he walked out only to be met face to face with Darkseid himself, "Never mind. We'll get your cake done as quickly as possible- fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck"

With that, Mitchell quickly ran back into the kitchen, as Henry heard Mitchell whisper to Arnold, 'Motherfucking Darkseid was here and wanted a goddamn cake, what the fuck!?'

After around half an hour, they were finished with the cake… and Henry was the poor soul who had to deliver it to Darkseid.

The "molten lava" lava cake was large, and covered in dark chocolate, with a small mound of vanilla ice cream (with a cherry on top), on top of the cake.

It looked honestly delicious… Hopefully Darkseid was appeased by this.

"Here you go… Mr. Darkseid, sir" Henry said, as he placed the Darkseid Extra Dark Dark Chocolate Molten Lava Apokalypse Kake in front of Darkseid himself.

"I am not Darkseid… I am… Lightseid" Darkseid said, as he looked Henry in the eye, his eyes glowing the brightest orange he'd ever seen.

"O-of course, Mr. Lightseid sir, terribly sorry for the mistake" Henry said fearfully, as he backed away.

With that, Darkseid took a small spoonful of the Darkseid Extra Dark Dark Chocolate Molten Lava Apokalypse Kake, and took a bite.

"Mmmm…" Darkseid hummed, the slightest pleased look on his face, as he took another bite… and another, and another…

At least, until his horseshoe mustache peeled off of his face, and fell into the cake.

Darkseid stopped momentarily, before staring Henry in the eye, as he reapplied the mustache, and went back to eating his cake.

A few minutes later, Darkseid was finished, and stood up from the booth.

"You have… pleased Darkseid. Make sure to do so again, when I return" Darkseid said, as he left.

Oh thank God he left… holy shit, Henry thought he was going to die.

Wait… did he say that he'll return?

…Fuck.

Next chapter