Unending Regrets

Artoria Tempest's POV

I hadn't realised the time that had passed since my daughter had left my room. I was still lying on the floor, it had become wet with all my tears flowing down. My hair was dishevelled and the bags under my eyes had become puffy.

I staggered back and sat back on the chair. I wiped my face with a hand towel and sat there and collected my thoughts, fighting back the urge to break down again as the mistakes I made stabbed my heart repeatedly.

Everything was perfect before, me and beelz had known each other since we were kids, I was the daughter of the former military general after all. With the time we spent together, it was only a matter of time before we engaged. What I didn't expect however was that we would also fall in love with each other, I still remember the day before our wedding. We were sitting close to each other on the Balcony behind the great hall, overlooking the entire courtyard.

He told me he wanted two kids and he hoped that one would be a daughter, and I agreed. For the rest of the night, we kept talking about the future and how amazing we would make it. He promised me that he would keep me and our family his topmost priority, even more than being a King and being the naive maiden I was I believed his words like they were gospel and I promised that I would do the same.

To our credit, for a long time, we did keep that promise. The day Lucifer and Lucille were born were the best days of my life and I believed that it was his too. Of course, Lucifer was my firstborn, so I was much more cautious while raising him and spoiled him to no end...one of my many regrets but Lucy was our daughter, she was what we had both hoped for and dreamed of...our family and our dreams were finally complete.

I thought it was the day that we got the prophecy was the day I stopped being her mother but now I realise it was long before that.

Lucy was a prodigy in every sense of the word, a talent so amazing it was only found once in generations. Of course, that meant she was always in the spotlight, always loved, always cared for, and always praised...I took part in it too of course. One day I found Lucifer crying behind the throne, he was refusing to talk and it was only when I sat with him there for half an hour did he finally calmed down.

He said that no one loved him and everyone only loved Lucy, he cried that he was weak and nobody liked him. He said that even I didn't love him and that Beelz was even worse. He shouted that he didn't have any friends and that he would always be alone.

I should have known on that day that I wasn't capable of raising children properly, a shame it is only evident now.

I started completely shunning Lucy, thinking that there were many people who would shower her with love and affection in my place and I diverted all my attention onto Lucifer. And to both my kids I inflicted harm that neither they nor I realised for a long time. Lucipher's lacklustre and generic prophecy only fueled his inferiority complex and there I was feeding him with more false promises and inflating his pride to no end.

The day of Lucy's prophecy reading was a grand occasion, even calling it that would be an understatement. Beelz was so sure it would be something grand that he ordered the prophecy to be read by magic all throughout the capital. When the prophet had arrived we hurried into the sacred chambers where the reading ritual is held. Only me, Lucy and Beelz were allowed to enter. Not even Lucifer, though it was the same for Lucy during his reading.

Everything was going perfectly and the ritual initiation was a success, but when it came time for the reading nothing happened. The prophet reassured us that there must have been some natural force obstructing the reading and thus we waited and waited and waited. After who knows how long, the prophet who had closed his eyes and started meditating, finally opened his eyes. All of our eyes lit up, especially Lucy's, who had been looking forward to this more than anyone else.

The prophet seemed like he was possessed by another entity. His pupils had disappeared and his mouth was gaping open. In a raspy voice, he started proclaiming the prophecy, but his voice was not his own and it was a muddle of many voices speaking the same thing. This was nothing like when Lucifer's prophecy was read.

The first few lines of the prophecy were in and of itself very weird. It was unlike any prophecy ever proclaimed, at least the recorded ones. The worst was yet to come.

The minute beelz heard the cursed sentence he immediately cut off the magic inscription that was reading the prophecy out in the capital. We heard the rest of the prophecy but in our own self-importance, we focused only on what we had heard prior.

Beelz grabbed the prophet by the collar and asked him to explain what had happened. The prophet in a seemingly honest admission said that he didn't even remember the last few minutes. That moment was the last time I ever saw the husband I had fallen in love with. For the first time in my life, I saw fear in his eyes, but not for his family or for his daughter but only for himself and his power.

He immediately told me, no he shouted at me to leave the room and told me to appease the rest of the family and calm them down somehow. Leaving and obeying him without question was also one of the biggest mistakes I made. None of us even cared to even look at our daughter's face at that moment..all of us left the room not even realising we left her there with the paper with the full prophecy in her hand.

I left to attend to the rest of the family and calm them down and explain what had happened, the last thing my husband had instructed me was to not talk about the contents of the prophecy and explain away the chaos somehow. Only lord knows how I managed to do it with the commotion happening right outside the palace gates. Throughout all this though, my husband was nowhere to be seen.

It was only that night that I finally reunited with him. I assumed that Lucy was with him the whole time but she was nowhere to be found. Alarm bells started bringing in my head and I asked him to tell me where she was...and I got no response. I shouted again and it was only then done he speak.

"Sit down...I will tell you" he said.

At this point, I knew he had done something unthinkable, but I relented from asking more questions and sat down.

He sat next to me and clasped my hands and sat close to me, just like that day on the balcony.

"I sent her to the castle near the dark forest, she will live there from now on" he said in a monotonous voice.

I immediately tried to shake his hands off mine and stand up but his grip was too tight so I resorted to shouting, shouting things that should have gotten me beheaded for treason but he still sat there not even reacting to my outbursts.

"This is for her Astoria, we need to keep the people happy. Her staying here would cause revolt" he continued.

As if I would believe that bullshit. I wanted to scream at him and push him away disgusted by his touch, but before I could even say anything he got up and left the room. As he left however, I saw a glint in his eyes, he was relieved, the fear of his losing his power was gone and he didn't have to be scared of losing his title anymore...that was what I saw.

I locked myself in the room for weeks after that, not even allowing any maids to attend to me, no food no water and not even looking at my own son. But as the weeks went by my anger mellowed and it was on one of these days that I was especially weak that my husband finally came to visit me, one more mistake on my list for letting him in.

He sat there for hours in silence, feeding me with his very hand. At the end of it all he said it again, that it was for her own safety and nothing else. That he was still protecting his family, that he was protecting us and in my debilitated and weakened state I believed him and I was successfully manipulated by him.

Over the next few months, he would come to me every day and tell me about his promise and I didn't even realise that throughout it all he was planting a seed of doubt in my mind. He unconsciously influence me into thinking that it was Lucy that shattered our perfect life and that it was her fault, by the time I next saw her, that seed of doubt had turned into resentment and I didn't even bear to look at her.

I did this again and again, trying to salvage my perfect envisioned family through my son. Putting him through god knows what kind of trauma himself, truly a failure I am.

The day when Lucy had challenged Lucifer for the succession ritual was the last time I had the chance to talk to her before now and at that point, she had become the object of my hatred, an enemy who destroyed my dreams and Lucifer had become my delusion that would fix that broken dream again.

In my complete dissociation from reality, I told her that what she was doing was a mistake. At that time I thought it was pity and mercy I was showing her. But truly and ironically it was both my resentment and the last bit of worry I had for her coming out together.

I still wonder how it took so long to realize my regrets. It had taken my son to betray us to realize that I had treated my daughter like a villain.

Sitting here now on the chair in my room I realize that this is what I deserve, a consequence of my actions. I was punished to wallow in guilt for my unending regrets for the rest of my life. What my daughter, if I am even allowed to call her that at this point had told me now made me realize that I was a monster for even asking for forgiveness. There was no mending what was destroyed, there is no fixing what was broken and there was no love in a void filled with only hatred. I don't deserve to be called a mother and I never did...truly a shame I never saw that when I looked at my pathetic self in the mirror.....

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Beels- Demon King Beelzebub's nickname.

Astoria- Lucy's Mother.

The age gap between Lucy and Lucifer is only one and a half years old.

NOTE- Hey guys, so the previous chapter was meant to serve as a closing chapter for an 'arc' if you could call it that. I added this chapter essentially as a side story to wrap the conclusion up nicely, hope you liked it!

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT- Since we have reached a conclusion of an 'arc' albeit on a slight cliffhanger, NEXT CHAPTER ONWARDS I WILL START LOCKING CHAPTERS. I told you guys I would inform you beforehand and this is that message. The story and the characters are gonna ramp up to a new level now, trust me this arc was essentially just a huge ass prologue, the story has just begun.

I SINCERELY HOPE YOU ALL CONTINUE READING AND SUPPORTING ME, IT WILL BE WORTH IT I PROMISE!!! THANK YOU FOR READING TILL NOW, THINGS HAVE JUST BEGUN!