15 Exchanged Emotions

Lucy looked down at my hand, her lips had pursed and she had closed her eyes. Her grip on my hands got tighter and the anger we both knew very well was evident again.

"I-I am sorry. When you told me you knew how I felt, I didn't believe you. I thought how could someone ever comprehend a betrayal from someone they trusted with their life? Our circumstances may have been different but our pain is the same, just as you said..." she said in a whisper.

"It's okay, if someone would have said that to me a few days ago, I would not have believed them either" I replied.

"Is she here too, in this world?" she said, still in whispers.

"Yes...my whole class"

"And what about the other person she was with, him too?" she continued.

"Yes, him too"

"Can I ask you a question...."

"Do you think revenge is justified Haruto? Do you think it is worth it" her voice getting hoarser.

I had thought about this question too, a lot in fact. Those few fleeting moments that I had the time to think about in the forest were all consumed by this. All I wanted was to inflict the pain I had received back on them, to everyone who hurt me, I wanted them to feel what I felt. As much as I tried to move on, the fact of the matter was I still felt that way and I was still angry, I was just fortunate enough to not let it consume me anymore. It gave me an opportunity to think but even then, the only answer I could come up with was I don't know.

"I don't know, I truly don't. My emotions fluctuate between believing that revenge would be the only way for me to truly move on and also knowing that letting it consume me would mean it would be meaningless in the end. The rage I feel still exists, and I don't know if it will ever be quelled, I just run away from it, just like I always have..." I said with regret of my own.

"I see, thank you" she said, her tone was calm as ever but I knew that she had some thoughts she chose to keep to herself.

The very next moment, we both turned our heads as our world of two was disturbed by two trays being kept on the table in front of us. A maid had entered with them and as she lift the lids she said "It was time for dinner princess Lucille, but I didn't want to disturb you so I brought it here, I hope I am not intruding" she said in a monotonous voice, but with a hidden undertone of thoughtfulness and concern.

"Ahem! No, not at all, in fact, your intrusion was heavily needed before the atmosphere got grimmer. Thank you, Serena, you may leave and as always please call me Lucy" she said, as the maid disappeared in an instant.

"Shall we?" she said, asking me if we should start eating.

"Yes, I didn't even realise I was this hungry" I replied, distracting myself from the previous conversation and it was evident she was doing the same.

As we ate the delicious food, we continued.

"Kingdoms and empires mostly don't exist in most of my world anymore, they are seen as a backward and expansionist way of thinking. Most of the world now chooses to elect leaders among themselves through a process of voting. This is called a democracy, for most of the world this change came about after many countries fought a colossal war against each other that led to death and destruction everywhere. Since then wars have decreased drastically, well the normal kind at least" I told her when she asked me how countries acted towards each other.

"I guess war and aggression are an innate nature of all of us, no matter where we are from. Your world was lucky enough to survive through it and realise the consequences, I am afraid that mine will not have that same privilege" she said dejectedly.

"I guess so but in a sense, it is not the realization but the fear of the world ending that keeps us at bay. I would bet that if that fear didn't exist, wars would never end" I replied.

"But you said that nobility largely doesn't exist, I found that very interesting. Giving power directly in hands of the people, I wonder if such a system would work here" she said questioningly.

"To be honest, I don't think so. You see, other races and species that hold the same intelligence as us do not exist back in my world, humans are truly the ones who rule the world. On average, our goals were the same and are ideals too. In this world that is not a reality, there are different species who hold different powers and abilities, goals and agendas, prejudices and ideals. Your world, by definition, is too divided...but well, prove me wrong I guess" I said.

"fufu...well, I don't know if I want to though, the one who benefits the most from monarchy is me. I guess that makes me a bad person" she said with a mischievous smile.

"I guess so" I smiled.

Our idle talk lasted so long that we lost track of time. I told her things that I thought I would take to the grave, I told her everything about myself and every time her reaction would be different. Each was equally cute and mischievous but I couldn't get enough of it. It was weird, I didn't know why but I had never felt so comfortable with someone so fast but the more we talked, the more I wanted to tell. I wanted to hear what she thought, what she felt...I wanted to see her react, I wanted to see her curious expression, I wanted to see her eyes go wide in surprise, I wanted to see her embarrassed as I told her my embarrassing secrets, I wanted her to tease me more...I wanted to see her smile.

Before we realised it, the fireplace had almost died, just spouting embers. The cold had set in again and unconsciously we both got closer to preserve each other's warmth. We stared at those dying embers as we continued talking, the calmness of it making us drowsy, our speech was riddled with yawns and jerks as we kept ourselves from sleeping but eventually, our eyes closed for the last time that night. The last thing I remember is my face being enveloped in the warmth and suppleness that only skin and flesh could possess, like a soft pillow.