Prologue

It's already past midnight, but we're still here, at the park, hoping the authorities wouldn't arrest us for breaking quarantine rules. This park used to be stacked of people, even this time of day. There would be boys skating over the rails, trying to impress their crushes or their mom, twelve-year-old-girls taking Instagram photos with a shit-ton of make-up and wearing things very inappropriate for their age, I don't know why their parents let them out this late. My favorite part of this park is the spot by the old creepy tree. It is seldom to see people hanging out near this area of the park, mainly because they're creeped out by this very tall and thin, slender-man-looking tree, pussies. That's why I, being the brave woman that I am, is the only person that hangs out in this area of the park.

I love this park. I always go here to clear my mind, to get those irrational thoughts out of my head. This is my safe haven, there is no judgement, no people asking me to do this, do that, and definitely no pressure. But today's different, I am not alone in my favorite spot, and unlike what I expected, the area just felt safer and more comfortable.

"Where do you see yourself in five years?" Z asked me all of a sudden.

I still find it weird, sitting here, talking face to face with the person I just met online almost a year ago, I don't even know his real name. But hey, that's life, sometimes you have to face your anxiety and take the risk of being murdered by the person you met online.

"I see myself being the person my parents want me to be."

"Still want to please everybody?"

Z always thought I wanted to please everybody. No, I don't want to. I just haven't made a decision yet so I let my parents decide for me. Plus, I want to live up their expectations.

"Whatever"

"I'm just joking"

And then came silence (once again). It is not talking-to-your-crush-for-the-first-time-and-they-don't-respond kind of silence, that's just awkward. Being me, I should feel the awkwardness punching me in the face right now, but no. It felt comfortable. Like you're in the right place in the right time, with the right person.

"Do you want to know where I see myself in five years?"

"yeah?"

"Happy"

"I think everybody wants to be happy Z, so that doesn't count"

"with you"

His last words caught me off guard. If we we're living a normal life, without an inevitable disease about to kill us all, I'd be all giggly and blushing. But what he said just made me more melancholic. The perfect moment now feels like our last goodbyes, the calm before the storm.

"Quell, I'm in love-"

"Stay alive for me, please?"

I know this is extremely dumb for me to say, we don't know who'll survive or not. We don't get to choose our destiny. But I want that assurance, I need it. I want to make sure that after all this, we'll come back here, on this same spot, and he get to finish the sentence I interrupted.

"I will"