Chapter 6: I don't even know who you are

Remember that scene, in Avengers: Endgame where Wanda said "you took everything from me," and Thanos replied, "I don't even know who you are." When I first saw it at the cinema, I personally thought that it was rude of him to say that. He could've said it in a much nicer way, like "I'm sorry, I don't think we've ever met."

But now? I connect with Thanos on a spiritual level. I now completely understand why he was so rude at Wanda. Having someone you don't know talk to you as if you you've known each other for a long time is pretty annoying. I'm only stopping myself to be rude, because I'm not a mad titan like him, maybe not yet.

"We matched on Anonymous Numbers a couple of minutes ago, grandma. Now answer my calls, I'm bored, and I know you're bored too. So why not be bored together, right?" That random guy from that random website texted me. Stop texting me, I don't even know who you are!

"I don't really have any plans on telling you my real name, if that's what you're waiting for. What's the point of the 'Anonymous' on the Anonymous Numbers if I tell you everything about myself?"

If my parents knew I went to a dating website, all my gadgets would be taken right away. And there's also a slight possibility they might disown me.

"You might want to respond to my texts you know. You'll get pretty bored during this quarantine. Might as well have some company :- )"

This is so weird, receiving texts from a stranger. He might be a murderer, or a psychopath, or an alien from Mars that needs a human body to feed from to stay alive on this planet. I'm not really in the mood to risk my life right now. So I did the rational thing to do, and blocked his number.

As I delete the stranger's messages, I can't help but open the messages I got from Jay.

"Hey, sorry if I freaked you out on the ice cream place. We're still friends right?"

"You're probably sleeping right now, goodnight Quells : )"

"Goodmorning, I just want to tell you that we can just pretend what I said yesterday never happened. We can stay as friends if that's what you want : )"

"Please stop ignoring my texts Quells, you're breaking my heart :' ("

"Ha! Got you. I was just kidding : ) stop ignoring my messages tho"

I felt really bad for ignoring Jay, but I also needed time to think. I can't love him the way he expects me to, but I don't want to break our friendship either. He's one of the very few humans that I actually enjoy being with.

I am done running away from Jay, it's time to address the problem now, and fix it like an adult. I had this plan to meet Jay later today, but since I am too scared to go outside, I decided to FaceTime him instead.

"Hey! Long time no see old friend. You disappeared for two days and now you're calling me? How dare you?" Jay said, sarcastic as usual. He was at his messy room and I can see dog, a golden retriever that is named "dog," sleeping on the background. I can see his face clearly on my phone. With this camera angle, I can tell that he put his camera on his desk.

"I didn't like the ice cream you bought me last time, so I had to decide if we should still be friends or not." I said, rolling my eyes. How dare him "how dare" me?

"I missed you, Quells." Jay said, being serious all of a sudden. I just noticed how he looked like he haven't had sleep for a long time. His hair is a little messy, he obviously tried to fix it but failed.

I missed you too Jay, but I don't think I'll be telling you that. For you might take it differently. I'm suddenly feeling nervous and scared. Scared that he might hate me for what I'm about to say.

"Um, about the- about what you said two days ago. I- I don't think I-"

"Quells, can we just act like it never happened?" I don't think I can do that Jay.

"Trust me, I know what you're about to say. But please, please listen to me."

I feel really bad for Jay. I wish I can offer him more than friendship but I don't think Jay deserves a woman who is not sure about her feelings. He's a good man, he deserves more than that.

"When I told you I love you, I meant that. But that doesn't mean you have to love me too. I will gladly be whatever you want me to be. You want to be just friends? That's fine. Just... Don't push me away, okay?" Jay said, without looking at the camera. Maybe so that I can't see his facial expressions. Why are you doing this to yourself Jay?

"Jay.... look at me."

He turned his head to the camera and I stared at it for a moment. I saw the sadness on his eyes that he tried to hide with his smile.

"You look like shit, have you taken a bath yet? I can smell you from here." I said, with a more cheerful voice than usual.

I don't think pushing Jay away is a right idea, I can't do that to him. I want us to still be friends. I'm pretty sure the right woman for him will come in the right time, and I don't think it's me.

"Excuse you, I take a bath everyday. And even if I don't, I still smell like fresh flowers from the gardens of Italy. Unlike you, who takes a bath but still smells like horse shit." He said, and we laughed out loud. Just like old times. We talked about random things for hours. And Jay being Jay, he can make any topic funny and interesting.

°°°

It's already past midnight and I'm still awake. Jay and I were back to what we used to, and supposed to be, best friends. I'm glad that I don't have to think about that anymore. After eating lunch, I attended the online class my Dad enrolled me.

I can't stop thinking about the virus that is now invading our small town. What will happen to us now? Are we all going to die soon? Where are the avengers when you need them?

My thoughts were interrupted by a text message. Weird, Jay and Jannah are usually sleeping at this time of day, so who would it be?

"Hey, why did you block my other number? You don't have to be that rude, geez"

what the hell is wrong with this person?