Chapter XXII

"Lukas?" I said mostly to myself, knowing he couldn't hear me. 

He was just standing there, staring, probably trying to figure out if it was really me he is seeing. After a few moments, he stepped towards me. I downed another shot. He was now right in front of me. My head was swimming.

"Hey, Spencer! What are you doing here?!" he had to shout, because of the music.

I just pointed to the many empty shot glasses in front of me.

"Right. Except that."

"Isn't that enough."

He just gave me a very unusual look for him. It almost looked like concern. But since it's him, it was probably something else. Then I remembered where we were.

"What are you doing here? You do know this is a gay bar right?"

He looked around: "Huh, this explains so much."

Did he really not know?

He started smiling: "Oh my god, you are so slow when you're drunk. Yes, of course, I know this is a gay bar. I'm here as a wingman to my friend over there."

He motioned toward the green haired girl, who was now enthusiastically making out with the redhead.

"As you can see I'm a pretty great one." 

He gave me a cocky grin and a second later an idea popped into my head.

"Then you can help me."

"What?" he asked confused.

"I need you to be my wingman for..." I was interrupted by almost falling over as I tried to walk towards the dancefloor. Thankfully, Lukas caught me. This was the closest we've ever been to each other. If I wasn't drunk I would probably feel weird. I clung to his shirt and he helped me straighten myself. I didn't realize how drunk I really was. I usually had Matthew with me to kind of make sure I didn't go overboard. But he isn't here now. I shouldn't be thinking about him. My eyes were drawn to my hands which were still clutching to his blue shirt. The material was very nice to touch. Was it blue though? It did kind of look purple. It could be either. Or was it that stupid colour that's something in between. What is it again? Fuck, Charlie was just talking about it the other day. What is it? What...

"Indigo," I heard Lukas say.

"Huh?"

I still haven't let go of his shirt. He didn't seem to mind.

"The colour you are looking for is indigo."

"How?"

Was I talking out loud?

"Yes."

He chuckled. What an innocent sound. I finally let go of his shirt, that was now completely crumpled. I tried straightening it. I brushed over his shirt and accidentally grazed over his stomach. I gulped. I didn't know he worked out. 

"Sorry."

"It's fine, no worries."

We were just staring at each other for a few seconds until he spoke again: "What were you saying you need me for?"

Oh right.

"I need you to be my wingman."

"Why?"

"Because I need someone to go home with me."

I grabbed his arm and tried dragging him towards the crowd.

"Wait,"

I didn't listen and just kept pulling his arm.

"Spencer..."

I let go of him and decided to go myself if he doesn't want to.

"Aron stop!"

Him saying my first name was the thing that made me stop dead in my tracks. I could count on one hand how many times he actually called me by my name. If you don't count those times he called me Aaron or Erin to annoy me. And I don't. I wouldn't even need the whole hand. Just two fingers. One for when we met and one for this moment. He came closer again and I turned to face him.

"What are you talking about? You have a boyfriend."

My stomach started to hurt at the mention of Matthew. 

 I shook my head: "No, he..."

I felt sick.

"He..."

I felt like puking. I think that wasn't because of Matt.

"I feel sick."

"Uh? Oh, Shit. Ok, I got this."

He took my hand and maneuvered me through the crowd. We came out of the club, without practically any struggle, thanks to his impressive ability to find space. He pulled me towards the side of the club where an empty alley was. I immediately let everything I ate (And drank. Mostly everything I drank.) spill out of my stomach. I felt his hand tapping me on the back. I slit down the wall and sat on the cold floor. I just stared at nothing. I sensed Lukas sit beside me.

"Do you feel any better?" 

"Not really. I just don't want to puke anymore."

"Ok," he said softly.

We sat in silence for a while. I felt a cold wind blow past me and I shivered. With that, I was reminded that it was indeed winter and I am sitting on the floor in a thin shirt.

"Are you cold?"

I shrugged: "Not as much as I should be. Alcohol's helping."

He nodded.

"What were you trying to tell me, before you felt sick?"

I knew he waited as long as he could before the curiosity got the better of him. I turned my head to him. His green eyes were shining brilliantly in the faint alley light. If I was sober I would have probably shrugged the question off.

"Matthew and I broke up."

But I wasn't sober.

"Oh. Fuck Spencer, I'm sorry," he said after getting over the initial shock.

I didn't respond.

"May I ask why?"

"Because he got an internship in Nigeria and decided to tell me at the last minute."

There was bitterness in my voice. I felt so angry at the whole thing. Angry that he left and angry at myself that I let him. I wanted to punch something. So I did the next best thing.

I cried.

Lukas's eyes went wide with surprise, but I didn't care. Him seeing me cry was not one of the things I thought would ever happen, but here we are. I guess I felt more comfortable around him than I thought. Or it was just because of the liquor.

I wiped my eyes with my hand: "Sorry, I didn't mean-"

Words got caught in my throat as I felt his arm around my shoulders. He pulled me closer.

Was he...Was he hugging me?

"It's ok. You should cry about something like that. You were together for some time," his voice was low and comforting. I rested my head on his shoulder and let the tears fall down my face. We stayed like that for quite some time. He smelled nice. Lukas's body was so warm I almost forgot about the cold.

"I want to go back inside," I said and stood up with some trouble.

"I don't think you should."

"Why?"

He stood up: "I quick fuck will do nothing good for you, believe me."

"Then what should I do uh?! Just fucking cry until I dehydrate?"

"You can drink water while crying you know."

He smiled at his own comment.

"I can drive you home."

"No. I don't want to be alone."

"Is your roommate not home?"

"No, everybody is either with their friends or...family."

He was quiet for a moment.

"I'm not."

I narrowed my eyes in suspicion.

"I can take you to my place."

My mouth went slack and I didn't trust myself to say anything right now.

He rolled his eyes: "Not like that, you idiot. You can crash at my apartment. It's not that far from here."

I was still in shock, so I just nodded. He saw that I was having trouble standing straight since I was leaning on the wall, so he helped me walk towards his car.

As I sat in the passenger's seat, I remembered.

"Stop! What about your friend?"

He laughed: "My job for tonight's done. She won't even notice I'm gone."

He started driving.

This was the second time I found myself in Lukas' car drunk. It was such a cosy thing though. It smelled like cinnamon and chocolate, with extremely comfy sits. Radio was playing soft music that rocked me to sleep.  

                                                                                                   X

Lukas woke me up with a not so gentle tap on my shoulder. He helped me out of the car and practically carried me up the stairs to his apartment. I felt even drunker than before I fell asleep. His place was small but surprisingly cute. There was a bunch of Christmas lights hanging on the walls. A small Christmas tree was standing in the corner, all silver and purple. My first thought was that this was a wrong apartment. He sat me on a soft couch and lowered himself in front of me, so we were eye to eye. He was saying something, but I wasn't listening. It was the first time I actually saw what people have been telling me.

He really was good-looking.

Since he still hasn't turned on the light, the only source of brightness were purple and white Christmas lights. His eyes were unbelievable with purple. I don't know how I haven't noticed before how handsome his face was. His cheekbones were just the right hight, eyebrows, eyes, and mouth perfectly distributed and proportionated. While his nose was just...unfairly nice. It kind of annoyed me how perfectly shaped it was. Like, it was straight, but not in a pointy way, it was small, yet not tiny...

"Ok?" I heard him say.

I nodded, without having a clue what he was asking and hoping he didn't expect an actual answer. It wasn't like I didn't want to listen to him, it was just that I couldn't quite focus. My eyes kept darting to his lips and I couldn't help but think how would it be if I kissed him. He was so close I could easily just lean in and do it. I even had an excuse of being drunk out of my mind. Which wasn't a lie.

But despite the fucked up state my brain was in, I knew I would have regretted it in the morning. And I was also aware of the fact that a part of me still wanted to, in a way, get revenge on Matthew.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Are you ok?" his voice also sounded way more silky than usual.

Fuck was this frustrating.

I didn't even know if he was actually this attractive or was the combination of alcohol, loneliness, heartbreak, and anger the cause for very inappropriate thoughts now swarming my mind. Most of them involving us with a lot less clothes on and a helluva lot more proximity.

He lifted his eyebrow, waiting for my response.

I liked my lips: "Um, just tired."

Yes, good job. A swift and short answer.

He smiled. Not smirked. He actually gave me a proper smile.

"I can see that. Come on, let's take your shoes off and then you can sleep here."

"Mhm."

I let him take off my shoes as you do to a child. When he finished I threw myself back and fell asleep immediately.

                                                                                            X

I am never touching alcohol again, ever. This time I'm a 100% serious. My head was pounding, I felt sick and overall awful. I actually only realized that I was not in my apartment after half an hour of already being awake. There was a soft blanket draped over me. I wrapped it tighter around me. Why was it so fricking cold? But that wasn't my biggest problem right now. I still had to figure out where exactly I was. The last thing I can remember was Lukas talking and me vomiting on the side of the street.

Lukas.

Maybe I'm at his place. Things did kind of start coming back and it calmed me down quite a bit knowing I wasn't at some strangers' apartment.

I heard the door opening and I turned towards the noise. Lukas came into the room, wearing jeans and a very plain dark blue shirt. His hair was made in a sloppy bun and seeing him like that made me remember some, um, thoughts I was having last night. I was probably blushing. What a moron!

"Morning blondie," he said, smirking.

My mouth was completely dry.

"Why is it so cold?" I asked with an incredibly hoarse voice.

"I like cold."

Of course, he would. I didn't remember it being this freezing yesterday.

"What time is it?"

"Half past twelve."

"What? Why did you let me sleep this long?"

"Why shouldn't I?"

I hate when he answeres my questing with his own. He came closer and handed me some pills and water. I gladly took them, hoping it wasn't poison, but honestly, maybe death would be a better alternative to a headache I am suffering through right now.

"I imagine you feel like shit."

"That's an understatement."

We got quiet.

"Listen...I would just like to thank you for everything you did for me last night. You know letting me sleep here and stuff."

"No problem."

Silence again.

"Did I say anything...weird last night?"

I needed to know to what degree I embarrassed myself.

"No. I mean you said some random stuff, but nothing special."

I let out a breath of relief.

"Well except you did have a monologue about my nose."

Ok, now I was definitely blushing.

"Fuck. I'm so sorry. I didn't...I mean, that wasn't..."

He chuckled and leaned on the counter: "It's fine. Quite flattering actually. I never thought of my nose as one of my best features. So thank you."

"Welcome," I mumbled.

If that was the only thing, it's not that horribl...

"And you also tried touching my hair when I draped this blanket over you."

My eyes widened and I buried my face in a pillow.

"But in your defence, who wouldn't want to do that."

I groaned,

"Jesus fuck Lukas, I am sorry."

He laughed again. Was his smile always this pretty?

"No worries. It was really funny."

I nodded. I was still embarrassed, but also relieved.

"How are you?"

"I thought we already established that I feel worse than shit."

"I meant about Matthew."

"Oh."

I honestly haven't thought about him yet, mostly because I was preoccupied with immense pain. But as soon as his name was mentioned, tears were already forming.

"I'm fine."

"Ok," he said and placed the cup in the dishwasher.

He sat beside me on the sofa. I looked at him in confusion.

"I'll be here, so when you decide to stop lying, you can talk to me."

I sat up and pulled my legs closer so he could sit more comfortably. I watched him switch between channels and deciding on a reality show. I think it was Jersey Shore. I chuckled.

"What?" he asked and turned to me.

"I just can't believe you are watching this garbage."

He shrugged: "Sometimes I watch it just to feel smart."

I smiled.

He motioned toward the TV: "Come on. It will make you feel better. Believe me."

I obliged and watched it with him for about an hour. I have never watched the show thinking it was total trash. I wasn't wrong, it was incredibly idiotic and it honestly did get me in a better mood. He looked at the clock and stood up.

"So I need to get something for..."

He stopped abruptly like he just thought of something.

"For?"

"Would you like to come to my New Years party tonight?"

That was pretty random.

"Uh...what party?"

"New Years. I have it every year with a group of friends at the company, when no ones' there. Dad lets me have it there."

"I don't think I'll be a great company."

He waved his hand: "Don't be ridiculous. Come, it will be fun. There'll be food, music, and drinks. What do you have to lose?"

I thought for a second. Maybe it'll be a nice distraction.

"Ok, I'm in. But I am not going anywhere near the alcohol."

"More for me then."

"You are going to get drunk?"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Oh yeah. I always do at New Years."

"How does that look like?"

"You'll see."

"Looking forward to it."

"You should. I'm known to be very fun."

Now I really have to come. Lukas drunk has to be the most surreal thing in the world.

"If you want you can wait for me here until I came back and then we can go together or I can drive you home now."

"Can you drive me home, please. I need to shower and just relax for a bit."

"sure. Come on, I have a lot of shit to buy and so little time."

I stood up and quickly remembered how cold his apartment was. I immediately missed the blanket.

"Really Lukas, what's up with the damn cold?!"

"What can I say Spencer, I am so hot I don't really feel it."

He grinned and I rolled my eyes.

"That was so lame."