CHAPTER 1

"Just leave my ass alone!" I yelled at my older sister, Himari. As I was about to enter my room, I felt her hands grab onto my hair, pulling me back.

"Get here you useless piece of shit! All you do all day is sit it that damn room of your's, play games and shit! Why can't you help us around the house damn it!" My 'sister' snapped back, pulling on my hair harder and harder trying to get me out.

"Let go of my hair, you slut! At least I don't go around school picking up boys and shit! Leave me alone! Let go you damn witch!" I yelled back. I grabbed onto her hands and dug my nails into them. Soon I felt something wet on fingers and my hair was now let go of.

"Are you out of your fucking mind! Look what you did!" Himari yelled at me holding up her sightly bleeding hand. "I'm going to tell mom!" She said before storming off to the kitchen.

I quickly walked into my room, slamming the door behind and locking it. I walked over to my bed and plopped on it, digging my head into the pillow.

"Mom! Look what Yane did!" I heard a faint complain from my room. "You asked for it, you damn witch!" I yelled out.

Silence filled the room. It felt like everything in the world disappeared. I stared out the window and watched the sun start to go down and the city started to lit red and orange, with a bit of yellow blended in. I stared at the sun falling behind the buildings.

"Honey? Please apologize to your sister." I heard my mother say in a gentle voice.

"She's the one who started!" I snapped back, digging my head into the pillows again. "Just leave me alone." I said, heads still in my pillow.

"Well, if you wouldn't have been acting like a bitch-" Himari was was cut off by my mother; "Language dear. Don't call your sister that."

Himari let out a 'tch', before leaving. The angry footsteps of my sister slowly faded into the silence. I waited for my mother to leave as well, but the footsteps never started.

"Honey? Will you join us for our late night snacks? You haven't eaten all day I think. I haven't seen you all day." Her gentle voice said. I pulled out my head out of my pillow and sat up straight.

"Mom, I'll eat when I feel like it. Please leave me alone." I said in a cold tone. I didn't get a reply. Just silence.

"Can we talk? I know that there's something on your mind that's bothering you. You know that I'm he-" I interrupted her with a snap; "So now you're here for me? Gee, thanks! When I tried to end my life, were you there for me? When I fell victim into self harm, were you there for me? No! So now you decide to be there for me? It's too late mom. Just leave me alone."

Silence, again. Then I barely heard her say, "I'm sorry Yane." Then she left. Her foot steps echoed through the halls. I punched the pillow. Still sitting in bed, I opened up the drawer on my night stand and pulled out a small box cutter blade. I held it above my wrist and stared.

Slowly pulling it closer down to my veins. Once the blade touched my skin, I stopped. "I'm still scared of death..." I said under my breath. I moved the blade a bit more up and slowly pushed the blade into my skin.

I made a slice on my skin, when I pulled out the blade, blood started leaking out. The pain was intense. I dropped the blade and clutched my hand into a fist. Staring at the blood slowly pour out of my cut, I got up and took a bandage out of the same drawer.

I gently placed the bandage on the cut and picked up the blade. I put the blade back into the drawer and laid in bed staring at the old scars from previous cutting. Thinking about all these thoughts gave me a headache and I ended up falling asleep.

I woke up to the door knocking and I slowly sat up, rubbing my tired eyes. I got out of bed and walked towards the door and slowly opened it up. There stood my mom, all dressed up and I just stared at her before saying, "What? Did dad come back and asked you out on a date?" I said in a cold and harsh tone.

She looked at me with eyes full of sadness and disappointment. I just stared her down before saying, "What? Did you need?" I said. She just looked at me, sadness still present in her eyes before saying, " We're going to the city. Please dress up." I just scoffed before closing the door and walking towards the closet. I took out a pair of black jeans, a hoodie and undergarments. I put them on and left my room to go to the restroom.

I stood in front of the bathroom door and pulled on the knob but it seemed to be locked. Then I heard a voice say, "One sec, I'm coming." I stood there for a few seconds before the door opened. Himari stood there staring at me with annoyed eyes before saying, "Heh, look who decided to come out." I ignored her words and walked in, bumping into her shoulder and causing her to slightly get pushed back.

I walked towards the counter and took out my toothbrush and toothpaste. Himari started blabbing nonsense and I just ignored her words, continuing my morning routine. When I was done Himari was no longer there. I took a towel and dried my face as I walked back into my room.

I grabbed my backpack and stuffed in my phone, earphones and my wallet in case I'd buy something. I added a t-shirt just in case I'd get hot in the hoodie. Then I hung a strap loosely on my right shoulder and headed out. I locked the door behind and walked towards the main door.

There stood my mother, Himari, and my little brother. They were putting on their shoes and I walked towards them putting on my sneakers. Himari looked disgusted at what I was wearing. We walked towards the car and as I was about to open the passenger's door someone grabbed onto my wrist. I looked at who it was and saw Himari.

I just stared at her and said, "What is it this time?" I pulled my hand out of her grip and stared her down. She did the same and we were broken apart by our mother. "Guys please calm down. Yane, let Himari sit in front today." Himari stuck out her tongue and I just walked past her towards the back seat. I sat down next to my brother, Hideyo. He was playing with a toy truck making various noises. I just pulled out my phone and earphones out of my backpack.

I put on the earbuds into my ear and connected the earphones to the phone. I scrolled through my 'mood' playlist and found the perfect song. I stared outside the window and watched the car take off and start moving. I heard Hideyo continue making his truck noises and my mother talking with Himari. I made the song play louder and watched the other vehicles driving by.

"Where are we going?" I asked, pausing the song. Himari stopped talking and my mom said, "We're... going to..." She stopped, which pissed me off.

"Can you give a damn answer?!" I snapped. She didn't say anything and as I was about to say something again, Himari interrupted by saying, "We're going to get our passports done, and we're going to legally change our names." My jaws dropped at what she said.

I pulled out the other earbud and yelled, "How come no one told me about this?!" My mother looked startled at my sudden movements and tried to say something to calm me down but I interrupted her, "I like my damn name and I'm not going to let anyone change it! How are you even fine with this Himari?! Are you all out of your minds?!"

"Can you calm down! Why don't you let mom do anything?! She even let us choose our new names! Can't you just let her do something?! She is out mother after all!" Himari snapped. I didn't say anything and just let out an annoyed groan.

"I'm not going to change my name. I don't want some kind of Korean shit." The car went silent after that, even Hideyo went silent. I just put my earbuds back on, unpaused the song and stared out the window. I just kept thinking about why my life was like this.

Soon we arrived at the place where they do your shit and we went inside. I sat on a bench and scrolled through Instagram to see if anyone posted anything new about any games. As I was doing so some weird ass dude sat next to me and kept leaning towards me. I got up and stared him down.

"What do you want?" I asked in a cold and annoyed tone. The man just got up and started walking towards me. I stepped back and just stared at him. "Hmmm. I like my girls fierce." The man kept walking towards me and soon my back hit against the wall. I looked at the wall and back at him. He grabbed my wrist and pinned it to the wall. I tried to get out of his grip but he was too strong.

He looked like he was in his mid 20s. I just bit my lip and said, "Look man, I'm not interested. And even if I were, our relationship wouldn't work out. I'm a fucking minor. Let go." He licked his bottom lip and started moving his face closer to mine.

I spat at his face when he was only a few inches away from me and said, "Dude you're gross. I already have a girlfriend." Yes, I lied. He looked shocked and moved away.

"Heh, so you're not into guys?" He stated the 'obvious.' I nodded in return and he said, "Well, I'm no regular guy." I just sighed and looked around.

"Can someone fucking help!!!" I screamed across the building. "I'm gonna get rap-" I couldn't finish as the man's hand landed on my mouth. I struggled to get out of his grip but yet again he was too strong.