My “happy ever after “?

At the mansion, everyone were excited about the curtain growth of our family. Kitsune just began to live there for three weeks, but was yet used to the overly sweet servants and people. I couldn't blame him. Since they learnt from his previous situation they became motivated to make him finally feel at home again, with full of action to almost desperation. They always smiled at him, gave some candies and helped when he had problem with orientation in our mansion. Before he became quite suspicious as he believed them being nice to him just because he had the protection of our family but over time even he noticed that it wasn't like that. When we both in disguise went downtown or more- like -village downtown, the residents were warm and welcoming by nature. It could be sensed by me and even Kitsune. He and I knew that it wasn't fake. There wasn't reason to it to begin with. The village mostly consisted of old grannies and grandpas if you would describe it, so they already lived long enough to know what was indeed important in life. The priority shifted to a different direction. Wisdom was a great force, an unbelievable weapon and perhaps the greater friend in this life. To this, I could just only smile. Was I not almost no different from them now considering having two lives now?

But this didn't mean that he completely trusted them. At least he got along with which I was grateful for. Yet I was surprised that he actually tried to become accustomed with it. It wasn't his world. It was like flying into space, an unknown universe. I could see that everything became new for him as his eyes sparkled with curiosity with each item and tradition I showed him. In a sense I was really relieved that though he endured such childhood, he still didn't lose his joie de vivre. I didn't know the time when he lost his parents, so I also didn't know when he began living on the streets, but I believed that he must had joyful memories too. Without them I wouldn't have survived my previous life at all. Something which I could look back on. Something which made me want to live. Something which made me wish for more in my life. Regrets naturally companied me everywhere, but looking back on my memories …it was indeed a good life. I didn't live like everyone, even in my modern world. Not traveling around the world before or getting a boyfriend or partying almost every week. There were even times in my previous life where I wished that I have done it before, instead of hesitating.

But in the end I still wouldn't change anything in my life back then at all, should I get a second chance like this again. Why you would ask ?

Because I enjoyed my life in my very own way. I liked what I did since they were the things I enjoyed. Besides when looking back at your life, you shouldn't focus on the things you couldn't do but on the things you already did, including the embarrassing stuff, and you would notice that there were many things other people also haven't accomplished in their life yet. Furthermore I should also consider that I was pretty young back then, so I had a long life before me. That's why I could catch up on them anytime. That was my driving thought, which made me optimistic. …Yet I somehow came back to this world. It was like death.

Should I be sad ? Not at all. It just meant that I could still travel, could still go on parties, could still get a boyfriend and to top it off, my journey would be totally fascinating and magically. Instead of being sad not having done it in my past life, I should just focus what I could do now and in the future too. Nothing was carved in stone. Even after you got work, even if you didn't have time for fun after that, even if you had no energy for life, it just depended on your perspective. Choosing a different path.

I had a teacher who loved going to concerts with his children, and even doing his work during a concert. And visiting many football games with his friends. If this wasn't the biggest evident proving that no matter how old you were you could still enjoy your life like a student, then you would be always depressed for your whole life.

I had a lot of time to think about myself.

During that time I often missed my other life, often accompanied with regrets. It was like death for me to the point that this fact depressed me immensely. I needed time to process it. Surprisingly, I actually expected to be at least 2 years, but it was only 2 weeks. Perhaps a bit too easy if you thought. The reason was that it somehow made me relieved by believing in afterlife or reincarnation like this one here. Before that I was sometimes scared of sudden death, but when I thought I could still get a different life and do various things after that as well. This would also apply to my previous reincarnations too. Only that I didn't remember them at all. Yet it still assured me. It somehow helped me to accept my current situation and began looking forward to the future.

After all this time, I finally knew that life itself was unexpected and exciting. It wasn't like I didn't "know" it, but the actual realisation would always come a bit later. One of my so- called life revelation was when I first thought I would never read a book in whole life because they were boring for me which a lot of people would relate to it. Then suddenly I became literally obsessed with reading after a few years.

Anyway, my plan for now was to finally do what I wanted to do in my other life, only a bit different but the essence was still the same.

And one of my lifetime goal was visiting many libraries.

So during my time at the mansion I roamed around our library to either read for research or teach Kitsune who often accompanied me. Writing and reading. Surprisingly, he didn't understand any words written on the paper which I first got to know when I showed him a good night story, totally unexpected from his usual skill of speech. That resulted in me becoming his own teacher and we both enjoyed our time together. Because of this the distance between us certainly shortened. It even made it easier for me to break his cold wall.

Contrary to this achievement, I on the other hand couldn't find any important information or clue regarding the treason case, Kitsune's identity and my whole reason reliving here. Needless to say, I even restarted history, exactly as my mom "suggested" before. The end result stayed the same. So my conclusion was to enter the royal library, the biggest library of our whole kingdom. While I was at it, I should also try to visit other libraries from other realms. This was my plan A for the time being. While my time here restored my energy, I also noticed small changes around me.

My dad and brother began to spoil me rotten, like real hard. They almost followed me everywhere I went, tried to read my wishes from my eyes, were very attentive whenever I opened my mouth and bought me any gifts I just lay my eyes on even though I didn't even plan to buy them to begin with. I knew they felt guilty for not telling me the truth and hiding a few facts, but I couldn't blame them. I had some time to also think about their own position and understood them a little bit at least. From the looks of it, they were eager to tell me about the god and the reason they couldn't erase the rumours for me, however they were chained down by not only the royals from this country but also the god of this realm. I didn't know the reason behind it, yet I saw the huge responsibility and stress on their shoulders for dad, brother and mom. As long as I found some clues on my own I could fit the puzzles together by myself. But this was not the only things thich changed here they worked hard during the days too. The both of them trained like …what the heck, harder than normal. My mother even joined them in their training session. Enthusiastically.

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" The royals want us to visit them in a week, so we should travel tomorrow morning ", my father said out of the blue. Just casually letting the bomb fall in the dinner hall, I just sat there wide-eyed on my seat while holding the spoon before my mouth. Except for Kitsune who had his mouth wide open like me, everyone were completely calm.

At the moment we had dinner and enjoyed our dishes, when dad suddenly announced it. Not like I wasn't expecting this as we already sent a message to the palace, but this arrived a bit too fast. Didn't the king have enough work on his plate to read this letter among all pile of other letters ?

Putting my head back, I just stared at the simple drawn ceiling in pastel colours, nothing like the archduke mansion, yet it made the room more welcoming. I turned my gaze back to my family, mom, brother, father and my adopted new brother, then hold my head with my hands and sighed tiredly. At least the room decoration made my mood lighten up a bit upon this news. The sky blue coloured walls with white ornamented ornaments had a few simple yet warm pictures of our family smiling and travels. Everywhere in the corner of the room tall wood cabinets were placed, completing the warm welcoming feeling.

Why did it have to happen now ? I just enjoyed my time here. The break did me good. Suddenly a thought passed my mind and I asked urgently,

" Ehm… shouldn't we have already packed our stuff then ?"

" That will not be a problem. All our stuff had already arrived at our mansion in the royal capital. ", my father answered casually.

I gaped. What the heck ? So they did it already ? Did it mean they already know of it ? This would explain for their relaxed reaction, so I said with a pout,

" Couldn't you tell me this earlier ? Did the others knew it of it too ?"

" No, it was not like this, sweetheart. Before your… divorce we already planned to pack our stuff, but later changed our mind because we didn't want to push you. We knew that you were strong and if something happened you would tell us…. But now we know your situation…", she said with bitter taste in the voice, "… As a result we stopped with transport halfway. We first wanted to surprise you. We hoped to see you more often from now on, even if it was for a few mouths. That time. Now we have another reason. " She looked at Kitsune for a short time, then she added," It was fortunately that we already had more than half our stuff there. "

Surprised by this revelation, I stuttered a bit, but at the same time couldn't let out a voice. Opening and closing my mouth.

" So they wanted to stay in the city at first.", I thought. After knowing this, it naturally led me reminiscing the past. It was this particular moment where I didn't divorce Cedric. Around this time I didn't have the guts to tell them my circumstances, because on one hand I wanted to showy my independence and on the other hand didn't want to involve them in my problems. Other factors also were added over time such as my father and brother becoming berserk, but the essence was that these were the main reasons for my hesitation. If I had told them beforehand, would they have saved me on time ? My eyes became thinner and my mouth drew a straight line.

" As expected, it was the right choice to divorce the archduke and tell the situation to my family. " was my final thought. Even if I didn't want to admit, I had first doubts about my previous decision. Was it really a good idea to separate ways from Cedric ? Perhaps I could have changed our relationship. I didn't expect any love, but at least common understanding between us to help each other through harsh times and prevented further conflicts between my family and the Evergarden family. Now my family became disgusted with the current head of the Evergarden family. This would severe the following interactions. Besides that, was it also a good choice to bring an unknown mysterious creation named Kitsune to our house ? I began to feel attached to him, but I knew inwardly that he had many secrets. Dangerous even. Yet again, I believed I would do the same every time I would have such choices. Why ?

This toxic relationship between me and Cedric would have destroyed both of us completely. Also if I didn't have taken Kitsune, I would have felt bothered for all my life, not saving this cute boy. After this revelation it strengthened my belief. I shook my head and stared at my family who became a bit worried at my display of face- confusion. To this, I waved my hands and said with a smile,

" So, we had to prepare a few clothes for our travel, right ? "

" Yeah, this will do. ", my bother Leon answered shortly.

Still I noticed some uneasiness amoung mom, dad and brother. Kitsune continued to eat his food without concern, as he thought that the problem was already solved. Seemed like I had to ask them directly, " What is it ?"

They first exchanged gazes nervously, then dad was the one to break their silence and replied, " If you want, you can stay here. You don't have to come along. We were just worried that you are afraid coming back to this place. "

I just blankly stared at them, but a natural smile soon shone on my face and I chuckled, " Thank you for your concern, but you do know, that Kitsune have problems with interaction… with strangers. Also he still isn't accustomed to all of you here." Only I'm the one whom he felt comfortable with, so how should they ease him when I wasn't around ? He didn't learn the manners in high society yet, so he would soon become the object of ridicule. The royal family could understand for he became part of our family just recently, however could you apply it to the other aristocrats ? It was like giving free food to the monsters. With my reputation I couldn't possible protect him, but I now had the family behind my back this time and I believed that I developed a bit. I hoped so. So I could protect in other ways.

My family showed relieved expression and from the corner of my eye I also saw Kitsune smiling slightly. As the discussion came to an end, we continued to enjoy our food in comfortable silence.

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The Royal Capital

My face pressing on the window glass, gloomy mood filled the room and I just sighed silently. Through the window I saw many people passing by us, happily continuing their own daily work, small and big restaurants and shops standing on line before me, the buildings getting more and more bigger the nearer we moved towards the centre, in the middle of this everyday chaos was big Cinderella- like palace looking it consisted of glass and what welcomed were many flags of gold, red with dark blue raven in middle of it hanging everywhere on the walls. The flag of the royal capital. That they actually had to design an extra for the city stay for me a mystery. But this didn't matter anymore because my misery became even more depressed upon this sight." It seems like they also had celebrated it ", I concluded emotionlessly. From the corner of my eye I saw Kitsune next to me and my family before me making worried expressions. Not like I could blame them for my mood was the cause. I sighed. Just when you first thought you would be okay and that was what you also convinced the worrywarts too, you suddenly came to realisation that weren't fine at all. Here I was falling into deep depression after coming back. To top it off everybody would feel embarrassed by being too confident about it by stating you were strong. This only caused to worsen my mood.

" Now I am back to this cursed city.", I admitted to myself. The journey felt like a blessing for I didn't arrive yet, but it was also like a curse as I had to wait for my arrival to hell. Waiting was really THE WORST. Now looking away from scenario, which I inwardly call it my doom, I focused on my companion next to me. Kitsune had changed his hair colour to light brown and though his face stayed the same beautiful one, he still looked pretty different surprisingly and in combination with the big glasses he was like cute little nerd. Naturally, for someone who didn't know him before would think of him being a cute little noble. Refreshing haircut, neat clothes and adorable behaviour such as tugging on my skirt made him a complete different person from his previous self. o more like his adorable behaviour stayed the same. Over the past days he developed a habit ,whenever he felt uncomfortable he would pull my skirt. A proud smile showed on my face. Because of it Kitsune soon looked at me confused, but as for me his usual insulting confusion which I always knew from him was nothing compared to my pride for him.

We were our way to the palace awaiting for an audience to his and her majesty. Each jump of carriage caused by the rocky path ignited my already nervous self to become even more agitated than before. It felt endless, but at the same time short. Endless painful forbidding and short travel to my hell that was what I described my current feeling. Thanks to Kitsune, it slightly lighten my anxiousness since I wasn't the one called anyway. It wasn't like it would concern me that strongly. Only caring for this little boy and protecting him. " That was it", I believed strongly. I knew that was a bit harsh, but this way it didn't feel like I would go to my prison on my free will.

After we arrived at the palace, I sighed as soon as I saw them. The stairs. No matter how many times I came to the castle, I always needed to pass these long almost endless stairs like my travel and no matter how many time I got through this, I became drenched of sweat before even meeting the royals. My face just paled upon my memory. I looked at my other companions

" They also don't want to walk there anymore, " I thought when I saw their scared and white faces as well, especially that of my father. He was there more often than I was. Normally, you should get used to it after such a long time. You should be already accustomed to it. But even the strongest knight of the whole kingdom, no even the empire, was scared of these stairs. This was a bad omen was my thought. Kitsune just took it as a man and started walking towards doors. I also took my first steps, later Leon, then mom and the last was my father who joined us.

30 min later

The guards before the big glass doors had shocked expression when seeing the group nearing them. A little boy collapsed as he finally arrived the place. A young woman with nutbrown hair and tired emerald green eyes swaying from side to side over the steps. Each step looked like big hurdle for her, as she would fell any moment. That was their impression. The rest of the group were no different. A middle aged woman with light brown hair stood still on one stair. Her eyes closed and her hands gripping on her skirt. When looking closely small sweat drops falling down from her face. Suddenly she made a move, lifted up her skirt and took the next step. " Now the next one." , she said loudly as if this was battle cry. The next one was a middle aged good-looking man with dark brown hair and emerald eyes hold on his knees and breathed hard. Under his breath they could hear, " I need a minute." The last man around his late 20s was already on all-four.

" Finally, we had arrived", I confirmed while looking back at my family. " Surprising, it wasn't my father who fell to his knees, but my big brother. It seemed many practice was needed to endure it, heh ? My mother was also no different than Leon, but she at least tried to be elegant as possible when she sometimes stood with shaken legs on each step. In contrast to them, I was slightly better but this soon turned out be a lie when I finally collapsed to the ground right before the door, on all-four with my head lying on my hands and legs folding together. Right now, I looked like kneeling down to some master like an asian student to his master. " I just hate these stairs.

After we all assembled before the gates, we needed 10 min to recollect ourselves. One of the guards had a bewildered look while the other was calm showing that we was quite used to our "antics". I couldn't blame the new looking knight for he didn't expect the strongest commander to be so weak when it came to stairs. During our way we literally cursed these stairs in our mind at first, but later on couldn't contain them and spoke them out loudly. Naturally, I blocked Kitsune's ears with my hands, when I gave a permission for them to curse. I didn't know if he could hear them but I thought that he had heart much worse than them for sure anyway. Besides we weren't the only ones who hated them as hell. Other knights and nobles shied away from it too. This was also one of the reason why we sometimes had balls in a different palace, not in the main one. In rare occasion they indeed happened to be here, however I wished this won't ever happen.

Why couldn't they move out of this place ? Sadly, this building had a big history carrying on his back. Soon I looked at the new guard still obviously bewildered. The new guard who seemingly didn't have the same issue as us would someday realise how harsh it would be especially on summer. Most of the times the guards went to the backdoor to enter the palace which was hidden somewhere downstairs. The secret path had special mechanism. Regrettable, we couldn't use them as this was only for the guards of the palace allowed. You would soon ask why my father and brother didn't get to use it. It was mainly used for royals knights. My family members were the knights of the night square. There were two different types of knights. One was the royals knight sand and the other the night knights. The royal knights had a few privilege such as the secret pass, but had to act as a shield for the city and royals. Only a few could be selected, and surprisingly they all came from the night guards at first since this squad consisted of talented fighters. The night knights were always on the front line. My brother and father could have joined them too, but who would command the whole league if not them, right ? I remembered between his curses that my brother even thought about joining the royal guards if he didn't have to walk on these stairs ever again.

As we soon entered the palace, we passed the big white door, now entering the huge hall. Many marble statues placed on each side, columns so high and mighty it made one so small like an ant who moved through the huge grass on his way back home, the whole room coloured in magnificently white, shadows creating some depth making the place more vivid and organic, the walls displayed large reliefs and black drawings showing the amazing achievements of many heroes and history. The whole picture in white and black created by the shadows seemed almost heavenly. Not because this place was looking like 30 meters high or that great heroes and god statues standing in line like avenue for the passengers or that the art made me fantasied about the history behind them. The light through the large glass dome above us created an illusion of angels falling down to earth similar to a portal, only heavenly being were allowed to use. My eyes blinked multiple times to adjust to this white light. Was it even possible, I sometimes asked myself when walking through the avenue.

From the centre of the glass dome thin lines ran down along spherical shape, forming a spiderweb and between strings glasses were fit in. Frames had small carvings of greek alphabet and numbers. From there I looked down beholding the large columns working as a pillar of the hall. The column were built with large reliefs which showed many animals in forests. Other than there were also a few human trying to defy beasts and monsters on this pictures. Some were even defeated, some came out victorious. It looked like a movie film when following the line of sight. The history of war. A memento of the history. After we passed the grand hall, it leaded us to smaller floors giving off a little bit more of its regular medieval look, yet it still had a strong touch of greek architecture.

When we finally entered the main hall where the royals were waiting for us, what welcomed us was throne consisted of white marble. A beautiful light brown -blond haired man with golden eyes sat on it and next to him black haired woman with red eyes accompanied him sitting on different marble stone seat. The strong elegant atmosphere surrounded them.

"Good day, Marquess Ainsworth, Marchioness Ainsworth, Sir Ainsworth, lady Ainsworth…and Sir Kitsune, correct ?", said the man like an old friend.

To this, I turned my head to the object of this greeting. Kitsune only nodded silently. I looked back tot the couple and just thought, " It was a long time ago, I last saw the royal family.", I thought. Soon the royal family stepped down from their seats after we did the usual greeting and joined us by standing in front of us.

"Now shall we start our discussion ", said my father.

As if this was signal I carefully took Kitsune's hand and was about to talk when the king suddenly hold up his right hand which made me stop on my track. Since my face already explained my obvious confusion, the king wanted to enlighten. But sudden steps could be heard from afar hindering him from doing so. Out of the blue the grand gates behind us opened. When I turned around I stood still with a pale face. Immediately, I turned my gaze away to my brother who also looked at me. My focus stayed on him, and he knew he shouldn't question what I did right now and just accepted it. Leon soon returned looking at the new guest.

A tall young man came through the doors and kneeled before his majesty and said, " I apologise for my tardiness. There happened to be a few problems in my territory. "

To this, the king answered, " I hoped that it was solved. "

" Yeah, it was solved " ,he replied after standing up again.

" So now we could discuss, …", the king finally said and looked at me.

I didn't even dare looking at the man next to me, not even breathing around him. The moment I would do it, I thought about running away as fast as I could. The pause didn't help me to erase the uneasiness in my heart and this meeting just relived my previous worries. My lips became dry, my eyes slightly shaken and my hands became sweat as a result. Nobody wouldn't know how I felt at this moment. As if Kitsune also noticed my sudden change of behaviour, he worriedly looked at me. To reassured him, I smiled a little, yet my eyes betrayed me. Finally, I found the courage to see the man in front of me. When our eyes met each other, I had a short heart attack. I slowly spoke,

"Greetings to Archduke Evergarden."

To this Cedric just nodded slowly, not breaking our eye contact.

Why did this have to happen ? Why couldn't I get my happy ever after ? I even had a cute brother now. ...I hate my fate.