This Could Work

Adam

I feel guilty as I lay her down on the couch next to me. If she found out about me, she would run. She would scream and curse me. She wouldn't let me keep her.

I feel something for Rowan. I don't know what it is. I feel like I need to know what she's doing every second of every minute in the day. I feel like I need to be the only man in her life. I feel like I need her.

I deserve her.

After all the shit I've gone through, I'm allowed to keep her to myself. But I need to figure out a way to keep her close without having her figure out what I am. Most importantly, how do I keep her suspicions at bay while I get more blood? I need it to survive.

I hate it when I get sick like this. It's just a reminder of how I am a prisoner to my mother, even now that she's gone. This is all because of her selfishness.

This is her fault.

I look at the sleeping figure beside me and smile. Mother won't take this away from me. She can't. Rowan is mine.

I get up and start pacing, trying to figure out what to do. She's too smart. I shouldn't bring her here again. I can't make her forget about this, though. That's not one of my abilities. Maybe I could convince her that I need extra nutrition to live because of a rare illness? And that's why I depend on this "tonic?"

Maybe. But what if she looks it up? I can't let her figure out I'm lying. She won't stay after that.

Or...

I could take her home with me. Then she couldn't leave without me letting her out.

Should I?

I look at her dozing form yet again and brush the red strands of hair out of her face. Her slow heartbeat is soothing to me.

No, I won't keep her like a prisoner. That's not fair to her. Not everyone needs to be confined like me.

She's very independent. I wouldn't stop her from pursuing her dreams on her own schedule by taking her away from here.

I could convince her that she dreamed what just happened. That she fell asleep while watching TV with me and made up the part about being compelled to trust me and sleep.

I still feel bad about that part. I haven't compelled someone in a very long time, probably three years now. I have to have the blood fresh in my system to do it. It's another "gift" from my mother.

This could work. Hopefully she will buy into it. I don't want to explain everything truthfully, not yet. Or not ever. I'm not sure whether I ever will.

While I hate lying to Rowan, it's a necessary evil.

I need her to stay with me.

I can't lose her.

I clean up the empty jars while she's out. Once I'm done, I plan an excuse for tonight so I can find another girl.

About a half hour later, I hear her heartbeat becoming more rapid. Her eyes open and she looks around, visibly confused.

"Hey, you're finally up." I smile as if nothing happened.

"How did I...why did I fall asleep?" She looks into my eyes and realization dawns. "You did something...but how...?"

"Did something? What do you think I did?" I have to tiptoe right now or else the facade will crack.

"You used some...trick. I don't know."

"Trick? You brought me home in a taxi and gave me the tonic, then fell asleep while we were watching TV together. I didn't use any trick, Rowan."

"No, this was real!" Her voice is firm and she stands up, approaching me. She's pissed.

"I don't know what you think exactly happened, but I told you the truth. You must have had a weird dream." She stops two feet in front of me, looking into my eyes as if she's searching for something. Perhaps she is testing me.

I will pass this test.

"No, I know what I experienced."

"Must have been a very realistic dream, then." I chuckle as if she's being ridiculous.

"But-"

"But nothing. Rowan, maybe you need more sleep. You've been so focused on school and I'm worried you might be hallucinating lately because of sleep deprivation. Coffee is not a substitute."

"I am not hallucinating!"

"How do you know?" I step forward, looking down at her. "How do you know what's best for you if you refuse to eat during study time, even if the only meal you've had all day was a breakfast sandwich?"

I can tell I've rendered her speechless. I take the opportunity to bend slightly and steal a kiss. Instead of pushing me away, she responds with sudden passion. Now I know how to distract her.

I guide her until her back hits the wall. Her arms wrap around my neck and my hands move downward on her body, tracing her curves. I reach the bottom of her sweater and start lifting it.

She breaks off the kiss by gasping and I can tell she's trying to put some thought into words. I trail kisses down her neck and stop at her collarbone, soliciting a soft moan from her.

"A-Adam..."

"Hm?" My hands feel the shape of her body under her shirt. I can hear her heart beating rapidly.

"I...I'm not ready. I can't..."

I pause what I'm doing and look into her eyes. She's scared.

"That's okay, I won't cross any line you don't want me to." I remove my hands from under her top and kiss her gently, tugging on her lower lip with my teeth. When I pull back, I can see the relief in her face.

"Thank you." She hugs me tightly, catching me off guard. I hug her small frame back, kissing the top of her head.

I won't let anything happen to her.