17 I was doomed

Back inside his car, we settled into a comfortable silence. I looked out my window and simply admired the lights that illuminated the entire city. I had to counteract whatever this thing we had going. I could not fall for his charm, or I would end up hurt by him just like the women who had gone through him.

I might have dozed off or got lost in a daze, but I found myself in another time. A place that was familiar, but a scene that seemed unreal.

"I will help you build your dream house, where we will create a wonderful future together." He said to me lovingly while I was gazing at the stars. We were seating in the grass near the exit of a baseball field.

"You'll do that for me," I asked him as I raised my head to his and stared at his stunning blue eyes.

"Promise. I will give you the stars if I could." Clichéd, but I loved it. "I love you, Scarlet."

"I love you too..." I whispered as he enveloped me in his warm embrace.

"Scarlet." I heard someone called my name. "Hey, are you ok?" he slightly shook my arm, waking me up from whatever spell I had been.

A bit disoriented, I winded up staring into his eyes, where his face was leaning very close to mine. It took me a few seconds to realize that this was not a dream anymore. However, looking into his blue eyes, it felt like I was still in the dream. "Sorry! I zoned out, must be a little tired. Were you saying something?" I snapped back to reality.

Confused about what just happened. Was that a dream? Who was that? Why did his face look like? It actually appeared more of a memory rather than something my mind just made up. Why could I not remember?

"I thought so. Anyway, we're here." He said, interrupting my thoughts as he turned off the engine. I did not even notice that we already stopped in front of my apartment.

I turned to him, thinking of what to do or say after a night like this. "Thank you for the nice dinner." Deciding on the common line. Pulling a stray of hair behind my ears. The nerves were back.

"Thank you for going out with me." Gazing at me keenly. He only backed away a little, but still close enough for me to smell his delicious manly scent. "Anyway, what's up with you and Daniel?"

Not expecting the question, I said what automatically came to mind. "He is a good friend. We enjoy hanging out together." I answered nonchalantly.

"That's good." He sounded content as if my answer was what he wanted to hear. "I would really like to see you again." He added.

"I don't know." I automatically replied. Too quickly. Although I found him very attractive and felt the connection between us, my inhibition about the relationship was stronger. My fear of going any further than friendship weighed heavily on me. Not only that, I was afraid of his reputation. He could easily dump me after the chase was over.

He extended his hand to put it on top of mine, which was resting on my lap. I felt a sudden warmth from the contact. "What's wrong? Did I do something you didn't like? I really had a good time, and I think you did too."

I stared at our hands. "Nothing's wrong. Actually, everything is wrong... It's just that..." I started fumbling with my words, unable to tell him what I really wanted to say. Feeling self-conscious all of a sudden.

How could I tell him that the attraction I felt for him frightened me? I wanted him so much, but there were so many things stopping me, I just could not ignore it. He was not someone who I could trust my past, my present, and my future.

He entwined our fingers together while leaning closer. A shiver went through my body as I sensed his nearness again. His proximity was doing crazy things to my body that I wanted to throw all caution to the wind.

"I have to see you again." He whispered. This time, I turned to face him, finding him impossibly closer than I anticipated.

I was lost once again in those beautiful eyes. It was as if he was burrowing into my soul, uncovering my deepest thoughts, searching for my darkest secrets. He dipped his head lower until our lips were almost touching.

Instinctively, I closed my eyes waiting for the inevitable. I knew what those lips could do to me and I welcomed it. Maybe he saw it as a sign as tender lips made contact with mine. I responded with equal fervor, as I got lost in the kiss. My mind was telling me to stop, but my body craved for it.

He positioned his hands at the back of my neck to deepen the kiss, and somehow I allowed it. He took charge of the kiss, guiding me to a place I did not know existed. It was the greatest feeling, and I did not want to lose it. Eventually, we came up for air, both of us heavily breathing.

Grasping what just happened, I panicked. Suddenly afraid of the emotions surfacing from that kiss. "It has been a long day. I really have to go." Turning my head away, afraid of what he might see in my eyes.

I pulled my hands quickly and got out of the car clumsily. "Thanks, Nathan," I said before closing the passenger door.

He nodded with a knowing smile. "Goodnight Scarlet." He said in that deep voice of his before I heard his engine roared as I walked to my door. I watched him drive away thinking that I did the right thing of stopping whatever this was before it developed into something I would regret later.

I went inside and closed the door, hoping that this was the last time I had to deal with him, because I did not know if I could stay away from him again, judging from the way I acted the last time and a few minutes ago.

Whom was I kidding? I was doomed.