webnovel

I Can't Love Her

"Do I love her?" I asked myself. "Nah, I am not." I didn't accept my feelings. It felt forbidden to do. I asked myself the same question again as I feel a slight pain in my chest.

falling_feather · Realistic
Not enough ratings
1 Chs

Prologue

Not being able to sleep, I got up from bed and looked at the clock.

"2 am, huh?", I reached out for the glass of water, which was on the side table of my bed. I walked over to my desk to get my meds.

"I have to take these pills today too, huh?"

I was having trouble sleeping recently. Even if I had a hectic day, I couldn't fall asleep despite being tired as hell. That's why I bought those sleeping pills, though I avoid taking them every night. I didn't want to depend on it.

I took a pill and went back to sleep. Tomorrow was the first day of Highschool. I didn't want to be late.

***

Kiyose High School wasn't that far from my home. It'd take only 10 minutes to reach there on foot. I decided to take a bus since the effect of the medication was still there. My eyes felt heavy and my body didn't want to move.

The bus was slowly getting crowded as I looked idly out my window. Most of the passengers were high school students, a few were from my school. They wore the same uniform as me.

Beside me sat an anxious-looking middle-aged man on his way to work. He was looking at his watch repeatedly, as it seemed like he was in a hurry. Though I was pretty sure that the offices around the area hadn't started yet.

A meetup with someone maybe?

Soon, the bus arrived at our destination. I got off the bus and noticed that the dude who was sitting beside me got off at the same stop as me. The school was right beside the Bus Stop, so I thought he was a teacher at this school and my assumption was right. He rushed towards the school as soon as he got off the bus.

Walking towards the gate, I suddenly felt a large thud on my back. I nearly fell off due to the force, but somehow managed to keep on my balance.

I turned around.

"Yo, looks like we're in the same class this year." The person said. It was Okano Ishizaki, my neighbour, and my only friend. You could say that he was my best friend. Though we went to different elementary and middle schools, we spent most of our free time together.

"I see," I replied, walking again. I was in no mood for a talk. But he kept on talking, didn't seem to notice that.

The round-shaped gate was decorated with flowers and a big signboard at the top, saying "Welcome". There was a large sakura tree inside the school campus, large enough to be seen from the outside. The petals of the cherry blossom were slowly falling due to the gentle breeze that blew from the east. Those petals made the path as welcoming as the path that welcomes a newlywed bride. The path was beautifully decorated with banners and some other decorations.

The gentle breeze gave away a welcoming vibe as we entered our school.

Many students gathered in front of the notice board for their sit plan. Since Okano had already known what class we were in, I decided to ask him. I looked at him.

"Oh, you're probably wondering what class you're in. It's 1-A." He said.

"The room number?" I asked.

"What's so hurry, dude? Have you forgotten about the opening ceremony?"

"Can't we just skip that? I've heard it's pretty boring."

"Haha, I don't think it would be a good idea."

***

The opening ceremony was as boring as I thought. I think most of the students felt the same. The principal and the students exchanged excessive gratitude that it actually felt pretty fake. My legs were literally getting numbed because of all that standing in line.

After that horrendous ceremony, we made our way to the classroom. Okano sat in the middle row of the left side and I sat in my usual spot, in the left corner, beside the window.

After putting his school bag on the chair, Okano approached me.

"Yo, how's the ceremony?" He asked.

"I hated it."

"To be honest, I kinda disliked it, too. I think skipping it was the best option."

"By the way," I changed the topic, "you said, the girl you like is also…"

He didn't let me finish.

"Oh, Fujimori Yuriko-san? Yeah, she's in this school, but sadly, she's in 1-B." He said, with bright eyes and a little sad tone, which didn't match his facial expression. His face always lightens up whenever I talk or ask about her. I was pretty sure that when he reached school, he first checked what class Yuriko-san was in, then he prayed to be in the same class as her. After that, he checked his and became depressed. At last, he checked mine.

"That's unfortunate," I replied. I had never really seen Yuriko-san's face before, so I was kind of curious to see how she looked.

"Don't worry about it." He smirked. "I am planning to see her after every class."

Creeped out, I said, "I-I don't think that'd be a good idea."

"Hmm? Why's that?"

"I don't think they'll allow you to leave the class for no reason."

"Hmm, good point. Ok then, I'll spend the whole lunch break with her then." He said as we walked to his seat.

"I-I don't think…" I stopped. It was nothing but a waste of energy to try to give him some knowledge. I don't think he realized that Yuriko-san also had friends they wanted to spend time with. How does this guy get more marks than me on tests?

I sat back on my chair and took a look around the class. I saw 2-3 familiar faces, they used to go to the same middle school as me but I couldn't recall their names. I wanted to talk to them, but they were already having a conversation with some other students. I didn't have enough courage to just go up to them and talk.

I put on my earphones, and started spinning my pen. The teacher hadn't reached the classroom, he was already 6 minutes late. I quietly wait for our teacher to come.