I Can't Be Sword God

Invincible, Sword God, Nonsensical. … Li Chu transmigrates to Ten Li Slope and becomes a junior Daoist. In this world where gods and ghosts rampage and demons wreak havoc, the weak and helpless he wants to live the rest of his life on Ten Li Slope. Until one day, when he has no choice but to step into the pugilistic world, only to realize… It turns out that there's nothing in this world that a single sword strike cannot resolve. If there was such a situation—two strikes, then.

Pei Buliao · Eastern
Not enough ratings
545 Chs

Assassin: A Pat On The Back

Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation

"I have made some bone soup. Try it, Young Daoist Li."

Gongsun Rou, in silk casual wear, walked in with a bowl of soup in her hands. The soft fabric fit her body like a glove, accentuating her curvaceous, slim figure, looking like a continuous spring mountain.

This should be her most honest appearance at home: lush long hair that was a little messy, with no makeup yet still graceful and pleasant.

"Thank you."

Li Chu took the bowl, opened the lid, and smelled it. It smelled so good.

"We didn't have the habit of drinking soup in Chaoge, but when we came to the south, we found that every family loves soup, and slowly we fell in love with it," said Gongsun Rou softly as she sat down next to him.

Li Chu immersed himself in the soup, which was made of many edible ingredients, such as chestnut, yam, and pork bones. In line with his practice of reducing food waste, Li Chu fished out all the ingredients and ate them all.

Gongsun Rou rubbed her flat and soft lower abdomen again. "I have gained a bit of weight recently because of drinking too much soup."

Li Chu let the soup cool down slightly, then held up the bowl and gulped down the soup. This might seem indecent if someone else did this. But it looked inexplicably suave on him.

"How does it taste, Young Daoist Li? I have practiced it for three to four days. This is the first time I have served someone other than my father with it," said Gongsun Rou again.

Li Chu put down the soup bowl and let out a sigh of satisfaction. "It is so good. It just took you three to four days to make such soup? You are incredibly talented, Miss Gongsun."

Gongsun Rou instantly broke out in a smile.

She cleaned up the bowl and brought it out again. It was normally the servants who performed this job in the magistrate office, but she still did that personally.

She went into the kitchen, filled another bowl of soup, and sent it to Gongsun Zhe.

It was late at night, but Gongsun Zhe still had a lot of paperwork to do.

From the point of view as an official, he was indeed an out-and-out good official. He had just arrived in Yuhang County recently, yet he had cleared the backlog of cases. His good name quickly spread among the people.

"Father, try the soup. Young Daoist Li said it was delicious just now," said Gongsun Rou.

Gongsun Zhe guffawed. "You gave me your experimental soups to drink for the past few days. And you gave your first successful soup to Young Daoist Li, didn't you?"

The father and daughter lived in two adjacent side yards in the magistrate office. After Li Chu moved in, he was arranged to stay in the same side yard as that of Gongsun Zhe. So Gongsun Zhe had taken in all that her daughter did just now.

"What are you talking about? If you talk like that again, I am not going to let you drink next time." Gongsun Rou pouted.

"Okay, my bad, my bad."

Gongsun Zhe guffawed and then drank the soup.

There was a silence in the room for a while. Suddenly, Gongsun Rou spoke. "It would be great if Young Daoist Li could keep staying here."

Gongsun Zhe choked himself, coughing like mad upon hearing what she said.

"Father, are you okay?" Gongsun Rou came over and patted him on the back.

"Ahem, girl, are you hoping that people are looking to assassinate your father every day?" Gongsun Zhe glanced at his daughter sideways.

Gongsun Rou did not think that much before she spoke. She blushed upon hearing what her father said.

But she still could not help it. 

How good it would be if no one was looking to kill her father while she could still see Young Daoist Li every day.


The night sky was clear, and the moon was bright.

Li Chu walked out of the door and climbed up the roof swiftly along the ladder.

This was what he recently discovered: when performing Mind's Eye, it would be better if there was no obstruction around him, and the higher the place, the better the effect.

It reminded him of the old-fashioned antennas at home last time. That was why Li Chu chose a location like the roof.

He had killed a ghost last night, but he did not let down his guard in monitoring grievances.

Gradually, he found he liked the feeling of overlooking everything from higher ground.

There were no grievances that arose today.

It was good news. Peace was in the entire Yuhang Town today.

But there were still many minor grievances. But such a level of grievances would not attract ghosts. So there was nothing to worry about.

He suddenly sensed something amiss just as he was about to withdraw his Mind's Eye. 

Outside the wall across the courtyard stood what might look like a human made of Yin and Yang Qi.

There was nothing wrong with this.

But outside of this human body, a strong earthen yellowish energy burst out in an instant.

Li Chu had seen this kind of energy in little Yue'er.

It was the Qi of a spiritual creature.

Normally, it was impossible to spot a spiritual creature that had transformed into a human form unless the creature was using its magic tricks.

Their Qi would be well contained in the body.

Right now, there should be a large spiritual creature lurking behind the wall and elevating its powers.

While Li Chu was still deep in thought, that spiritual creature had soared into the air.

Its target was Li Chu.

And it was fast approaching.


Baowu was a silver-mark assassin nicknamed Thunder Fist in The Blue Wing Lodge.

It was brutal and had never killed its targets without mutilating them.

But it thought that it was not to blame for this; those people were too fragile.

It was just a punch, and those people had exploded at once. So how could anyone blame him for being too brutal?

It was obsessed with this feeling.

It could not control its excitement every time it beat humans to pieces and saw body parts flying all over. 

It was because of this that it had received many jobs despite being a Silver-mark Assassin.

As top-tier figures in the Blue Wing Lodge, Silver-mark Assassins usually limited their number of missions to maintain their price.

But Baowu could not care less; it would never refuse jobs.

Compared with making money, it was more obsessed with killing itself.

This was the same today.

It was just killing a defenseless, middle-aged human. The previous Bronze-mark fool named Eight-Armed Asura had failed, and there was no news from him since then.

According to the rules, this time, it should be the Silver-mark Assassin's turn.

But other Silver-mark Assassins were reluctant to take the job because it was too menial.

So Baowu took the job.

When it discovered that the target was a county magistrate, it changed its mind.

'Why only kill one person?'

'There are so many humans here to protect him, killing them all will make sense, too.'

'It feels so good to beat people in pieces.'

'The more the merrier.'

'Let's start with this young Daoist priest meditating on the roof.'

'He looks so calm and probably never expects that he will die soon.'

Bending its knees and gathering its power, Baowu lunged up in an instant.


It launched itself into the air like a cannonball and went straight towards Li Chu.

Baowu was performing its most powerful fist strike ever.

The fist strike was called Hammer of Obliteration.

Hundreds of people had died under this fist strike. So far, no one had survived. It was a really nasty move.

'Explode in front of my eyes!'

'Nothing is more beautiful than flying flesh and blood in this world!'

Li Chu had just withdrawn from the state of Mind's Eye. Before he knew it, Baowu had hit him on the back with a punch.


Both had felt something in that split second.

Baowu was shocked. It spun around and fled to where it came from at speed faster than when it had come to Li Chu.

It then quickly pranced, almost turned into a spiritual wind, and fled the Yuhang Magistrate Office.

It had disappeared when Li Chu stood up.

Li Chu frowned suspiciously.

He felt that someone had hit him on his back with a powerful punch, although it almost felt nothing to him.

The strike was powerful, yet it was almost painless to him.

What was this?

Just a pat on the back?

The assailant had fled far away before he could see its face. 

So no way he could know what its purpose was.

After much thinking, he had come to a reasonable conclusion: this was a tactic of diversion.

Some minion was sent to 'give him a pat on the back.' If he gave chase, they would come to assassinate the defenseless Gongsun Zhe, the magistrate.

Of course, Li Chu would not be fooled.

He sat back down cross-legged again, but this time he was on high alert.

He was less perceptive to his surroundings just now as his Mind's Eye expanded further into the distance.

He would be careful in the future.

He must let no one come close again without him knowing. Absolutely not.

It was a close call just now. Had that punch been a thousand times more powerful, he could have gotten injured.

Fear rose within him when this thought came to mind.