13 _ Fart(y) Queen

King Aethon was the one who gifted me Flutternutter.

I could remember all of Heidi's and Elsie's remarks.

"Who on earth would gift the Queen a Fox-Cat?"

"I'd say an unkind one if I were you."

"Most definitely not a kind soul!"

"More like a barbaric soul!"

"Must be an evil person!"

Tsk tsk tsk. The girls, they had no idea. They had no idea at all who that barbaric, unkind, and evil person they'd named was.

"Yes, Your Majesty, the gifts were all lovely," I said, trying to hide the grin threatening to split my face in two.

Elsie and Heidi's horrified faces flashed in my mind as I imagined telling them the King himself sent the talking cat. Then, they'd wish for their words to return to their mouths.

Dang!

It'd be hilarious. "Thank you very much." I finalized my gratitude to King Aethon.

King Aethon seemed to be scrutinizing my face.

Why?

Why?!

I practically played my toes on each other, clumsily picking on my food. One thing I knew for sure was that King Aethon was damn well intimidating!

I contemplated dropping the bomb about Flutternutter's magical nature, you know, he was the sender, he could be aware of what Flutternutter really was. According to the novel, King Aethon had hidden abilities. It ran in his bloodline.

Some people in this world did too.

This wasn't just an ordinary world. The thing was that the ones with abilities kept them well hidden, lest, they'd be termed witches.

I was about to find out what I could from him about Flutternutter when a rumble erupted from my stomach.

King Aethon glanced at me briefly at the sound and I swallowed. Little did I know that it was just the tip of the iceberg.

The growling of my stomach was followed by a sound that could only be described as a BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP!

Oh. My. God.

My jaw dropped. I couldn't believe it. I had just… farted… in front of the King. I clamped my mouth shut, mortified. The King stared at me with his expression, unreadable.

The guards and servants, who had been silent before, exchanged wide-eyed glances. I saw it all. I saw them all do that.

Oh, I'm finished!

God, I'm finished!

Heat flooded my face as I mumbled a choked apology. "I— I apologize, Your Majesty," I stammered, bowing relentlessly like a monk.

But the indignity wasn't over. The shame was just getting started.

Drusilla, when did you become like THIS?!

Another PFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTT escaped before I could even finish my apology. And then another…

…TOOT TOOT TOOT TOOT echoed through the vast dining hall.

The entire room seemed to freeze. Guards, servants, everyone stared at me. I saw on their faces a mixture of amusement and bewilderment.

I could already picture the news that would fly all around the castle tomorrow or maybe even beyond – like the whole kingdom.

'The youngest wife is a fart(y) Queen!'

This can't be happening, not to me!

Shame washed over me like a tidal wave. I stole a glance at King Aethon. He wasn't eating anymore, he seemed to have frozen in his seat. He wasn't looking at me too.

Mortified, I scrambled to my feet. "Your Majesty, I… I apologize profusely. I must excuse myself."

But the fates had other plans. As I took a step forward, another…

…BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP! erupted, silencing any potential escape attempt. My cheeks burned hotter than a dragon's breath.

What was this nightmare?!

I could already smell it. Smelled like a living corpse. Like a zombie!

King Aethon took a sip of his drink. I saw how hard he fought to swallow.

Tears welled up in my eyes. This was a nightmare. I was trapped in a drum of embarrassing noises. Every single sound that erupted from my buttocks was like a nail hammered into the coffin of my dignity.

King Aethon would probably be regretting marrying Thalassa right now.

I couldn't do it anymore.

The farts wouldn't stop. I needed to be out of his sight. He deserved to eat his food in peace. He should enjoy his meal.

Not to mention how much I had embarrassed myself in front of these guards and servants.

I had to ignore the snickers and bewildered stares from the servants. I bolted from the dining hall, the sounds of my farts echoing loudly behind me.

I ran blindly through the castle corridors, leaving a trail of my farts and their gruesome smell in my wake. Every servant, guard, and maid I passed seemed to recoil in horror as I kept on making the sounds, running through the corridors.

They seemed to be holding their noses and staring at me with a mixture of pity and disgust.

BRRRRRRRR!

PFFFFFFFFFRRRRTTTT!

GRRRRRTTT!

All sorts of soundtracks, name them!

"What's going on?"

"Isn't that the youngest Queen?"

"By the stars, what is she doing?"

"What smells like rotten fish?"

Yes. All of those were the comments and remarks from them all as I ran by. I knew that this was going to travel farther than I could imagine.

Did this happen to Thalassa during those times that weren't written in the book? I just couldn't wait for a month to pass.

Then, I'd wield the power to make and break. I'd know every challenge before they came, making conquering them easier.

Just like this one.

Flutternutter was the biggest smallest bully I had ever seen!

He just had to make me go through all of this. He just had to make me survive the first Month blindly just as blindly as I was bolting to my chambers now.

Finally, I reached my chambers. Yet, the…

…PBBBBBBBBBBBBTs!

Were still echoing behind me. I burst the door open with urgency. Elsie and Heidi were sprawled on the floor, playing a game of 'Foxes and Hens'.

They looked up in surprise as I burst through the door.

"Your Highness?" Heidi gasped, her eyes wide. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be with the King for tonight!"

Elsie giggled, meaning something else. "And maybe another and another."

Well, that 'something else' was a distant dream after today!

Before I could answer them at all, another…

…PBBBBBBBBBBBBT! filled the air.

Elsie's jaw dropped, and Heidi's nose wrinkled in disgust.