Chapter 40: Funeral Without Mourners

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"What?"

Deus wondered if he had misheard and asked again.

"If you want to hear it again, I can repeat it," I said, but Deus urgently grabbed me by the collar.

"Regret? Did you say regret? You little brat! Why? Do you want to finish me off? Put me to sleep? Huh?! You damn bastard!"

"..."

"You crazy bastard! Don't forget you are an evil spirit! I am the real Deus! Why the hell are you playing this absurd act, you damn brat!"

Thud!

He swung his fist forcefully, precisely hitting my face, making me stagger back. However, I composed myself and calmly looked at him, catching my breath.

"Is that why you tried to kill me?"

"Yes! If I can't exist as myself, then I have to kill you! Why the hell are you occupying someone else's body so shamelessly anyway!"

Watching Deus, who acted like he would rush at me any moment, I could somewhat understand why people called him a lunatic.

Anyway.

There was one thing I had to ask.

"Then why didn't you try to kill me at Verdi mansion?"

"..."

Deus hesitated, wanting to say something, but kept his mouth shut, perhaps out of pride.

"I'm not asking because I don't know the reason. Don't think you can hide it by staying silent."

"You...!"

"First, other spirits might have scared you. The Verdi mansion was overflowing with spirits that used to mess around with you."

The original Deus must have seen the same thing as me after I possessed his body - Countless spirits roaming the mansion, mocking him.

Deus must not have been able to bear such an environment.

At least in North Whedon, the name of the Verdi family justified all his actions and prevented open criticism.

But after death, everyone was equally dead, regardless of status.

So, he hid deeply within me. Because he didn't want to lose his identity and pride.

"But that wasn't the only reason. Even after I took care of the spirits, you still didn't come out."

"..."

"But then, when I returned to the academy, you came out to kill me right away at night."

"Shut up."

Deus clenched his fist again, but this time, I didn't let him hit me. I sidestepped his attack.

Do you know how many punches I took while having conversations with ghosts in thin air when I was young?

In fact, avoiding the punch of a shabby street fighter like Deus was always possible.

Swoosh!

Deus swung his fist through the empty air and ended up falling down awkwardly.

I looked down at him and delivered the truth he never wanted to acknowledge.

"Because there was a possibility."

"Stop!"

"Just like I did after taking over your body, you realized that there was a possibility to reverse everything for you too."

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"

Deus, frustrated, pounded the floor with his fists and shed tears again.

"You always thought you couldn't change anymore. You believed that the turning point of your life had already passed."

"Don't say it!"

"That's why you regretted it so much. You didn't want to admit that things could turn out like this."

I looked at Deus, who was sobbing, and knelt down, placing my hand on his back.

"You wished for me to be ruined. That's why while I was at the academy, you always tried to kill me, but after getting expelled, you no longer needed to do that."

Because he thought I would follow the same process of ruin as him.

But I returned to the academy once again. Not only that, I was reinstated as a professor under much better conditions.

In this situation, he could see with his own eyes that there were different possibilities.

So Deus tried to kill me again, and this time, he thought he succeeded.

"To have a conversation with you, there needed to be an opportunity like this. Luckily, there were competent professors and guards to treat the injured below, so I trusted that I could throw myself down."

It was clear that I was successful.

"Deus… I've tried to think about what your regret may have been in my own way."

Sincerely.

To understand the man named Deus, I racked my brain countless times and pondered.

"First, you wanted me to die."

"..."

He didn't answer and curled up his body.

Throughout our conversation, he trembled as if his whole body had been stripped bare, only expressing his dismay.

"The second regret must be to wanting to see the person you love."

Swoosh.

He slowly lifted his head, and confusion was apparent on his devastated face.

"Illuania… You were with countless women, but she was the only one you genuinely loved."

"No, no. I...!"

"When I first saw her. The emotions that weren't mine, but someone else's, were deeply felt within me."

That's why when I saw Illuania on the streets of North Whedon for the first time, I was astonished.

At that moment, I could tell that she was the woman Deus truly loved. Deus genuinely desired to be with Illuania.

"Staying up together all night, comforting each other when drunk, and sharing love again the next day."

They were completely different in terms of social status – he, a viscount, and she, a courtesan. But in bed, they were equals and understood each other.

"You kept growing your feelings for her, but you couldn't express them."

Every warm word from the courtesan must have given Deus emotions he had never experienced before.

But unfortunately...

"Illuania is pregnant."

"...!"

Deus also knew. He must have seen Illuania from within me, so of course, he knew.

What she needed was someone who would give her absolute and unwavering love, and that wasn't him. Not only him but no one else could be that person.

While she might have loved him during the time they were together, Illuania was a professional when it came to sorting out emotions. She also carried wounds so deep that she couldn't easily love someone else.

"That damn woman! She promised to love me! She said we'd be together! But she's carrying another guy's child...!"

Thud! Thud! Thud!

With each strike to the floor, Deus's despair was palpable.

"Why? Why? Why do these things only happen to me? Why am I the one who has to learn all this after everything has already ended!"

Screaming and despairing, Deus looked broken as he pounded his chest.

Coldly, I declared:

"You're still selfish."

"...What?"

"You only think of yourself as the victim and still resent others."

"I... I..."

"Think about Deia and all the other maids you have harassed… Haah! Since I'm the one enduring the weight of your misdeeds, let me say this."

"..."

With a stunned expression, Deus looked at me, his mouth agape. However, I continued with a cold tone:

"You're the worst piece of trash, Deus."

"Ah."

"And you won't get a second chance. You know that too."

Proving that those were the words he didn't want to hear until the very end, Deus hurriedly turned and began to flee. But before he could take a few steps, he slipped and fell pitifully to the ground.

"You're already dead."

What was the cause?

An overdose of drugs?

Or perhaps his brain froze from alcohol?

Could it have been a sudden cardiac arrest, given the name "Karma"?

I didn't know.

Deus didn't know either.

He had simply closed his eyes, comfortably slipping into sleep, while the deeds he had committed came to light, and I woke up.

That's why Deus was trying to kill me.

Knowing that he had no chance of survival, he could throw his body without hesitation.

"I don't judge good or evil, I only listen to the souls' stories and help grant their wishes if I find it appropriate."

I walked towards him, who had fallen pitifully. Despite shouting for me to stay away, again and again, he finally broke down in tears, exhausted.

"You are the only soul I will help, even if I don't understand or find it appropriate."

'Because I am using your body.'

I thought it was a fair price to pay.

"I will show Deia and Darius, who you hurt, and many others a new Deus. He will be confident and proud, to the extent that the old memories won't come back."

"..."

"Illuania, the one you loved, will raise the child in a stable job without going through a life of misery. Of course, I will also cut off the drugs."

Deus didn't look at me.

"Ugh! Damn it."

As if looking back on his entire life, he began crying.

"Don't forget your promises, you bastard!"

With a sob, he muttered those words and threw them at me.

Hence, I finally recited the funeral rite for him.

"You were intensely selfish and caused a lot of pain to many people. No excuse could ever justify it."

No tears, no sobbing.

It was Deus Verdi's quiet funeral, which no one attended.

Deus slowly began to turn into a light cluster from his toes, yet he didn't resist.

"That's why no one mourns your death or longs for you. This is just the result of your sins and crimes."

He was still shedding tears. Numerous regrets and deep sorrow enveloped him.

"But that's not everything."

I calmly closed my eyes and held my hands together.

"You, who never once thought of others, finally granted someone a chance at the very end."

I gently bowed my head as if not wanting to witness his desperate end.

"As the person who received that chance, I can not deny that..."

Could this really offer any solace to him as he departs?

It didn't matter.

"At the very end, now that you made a choice for others and shed tears in regret, you were undoubtedly a human who could change."

The only comfort I could offer as the one who received a new life from him was this.

"Satisfied with that, close your eyes in peace, Deus."

When I opened my eyes again, Deus Verdi had already disappeared.

I didn't know if he cried until the moment he died or if he found some solace.

But...

Seeing myself turning into Deus Verdi again, I turned around without hesitation.

"May you fall into a deep slumber where you can forget your sins."

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