chapter 3

Question

"I don't want to."

At first, I doubted my ears.

However, it was clearly conveyed by Yeon-

du's voice and body tremors, which have

changed significantly from just now.

The fact that you really hate it.

Frustrated by the fierce response, I recalled

the question I had just asked in my head.

What questions did I ask?

Yeondoo, do you not like it? My family

It's working

It wasn't even a big question.

Hold on. I think I'm going to get hurt.

Why do you hate it so much?

Do you hate living with me this much?

Whoosh. Whoosh.

I shook my head to organize my thoughts.

Only then did I feel a sense of

incompatibility.

No, no matter how hard I think about it, half

of Yeondoo's.

Yes, something was wrong.

Just now, the conversation with Yeondoo

was pretty good.

If it was not an illusion, at least I didn't get

the feeling that Yeondoo hated me

extremely much.

But now Yeondoo's reaction was completely

different.

This isn'ta reaction that hates me.'

Yeondoo shuddered and replied, 'I don't

want to me.

This isn'ta rejection of me.

He seemed close to being afraid of

something.

Then what the hell are you afraid of?

In order to figure that out, I needed to

remind myself of the question I asked.

Yeondoo reacted like that to my question.

Yeondoo, do you not like it? Becoming a

family.'

On second thought, I can see it.

There's a word that makes you feel a word.

Family.

When I asked her what family is, Yeondoo

replied, "Buying value."

That's why I asked without thinking much.

Do you not want to be a family with me by

saying that you don't want to be my family.

But Yeondoo may have taken the meaning

of the question differently.

I don't know if l'm thinking too deeply, but if

I'm right, I think I can find an answer to this

situation.

Only until yesterday.

This child's 'family' was my uncle Kim Dong-seok.

When inferred from the state of his

relatives' words and children, he was a son

of a bitch.

Was it a normal environment for a child to

grow up under such a father? I can't

guarantee it.

Then I can guess one thing.

"Trauma,

The child's reaction seemed to be a so

called trauma.

Anxiety or rejection for mental reasons.

Maybe Yeon-du thought of his dad in the

word "family" I meant?

Of course, my prediction may be wrong.

I've been talking about trauma, but I'm not

a psychiatrist or anything, I'm an

incompetent unemployed.

Maybe it's just that he really hates me.

So I'm thinking of checking it out.

"Yeon-du.

There was no other way but to ask the child

directly.

When I called her name, Yeondoo

shuddered and answered.

"Yes, sir.

"You don't have to be scared first. I'm not a

bad person.

It feels like a comment that entices a child

pretending to be good, but I couldn't help it.

First of all, I want to reassure the child

emotionally.

Because it was the priority.

Fortunately, Yeondoo nods up and down.

I continued in a low and calm voice as

possible.

"If you don't mind, may I ask? The reason

why I don't like being a family with me.

There is nothing we can do if Yeon-du says,

"I don't want to."

You have to take measures other than living

with me.

You've been rejecting me since the

beginning.

You can't live with a child you have.

For the sake of the child, for me.

After a while, a small voice came out of

Yeondoo's invisible mouth, hidden by her

hair.

Surf.,

"What?

"I'm scared..."

It wasn't an answer that I didn't like. It was

an answer to confirm that my prediction

was correct.

And yet I'm very happy about it.

I didn't.

It's scary. That's how this kid feels in the

word family.

Unconsciously, I bit my lower lip.

Yeondoo's answer did not stop here.

"I'm sick... my family, I'm sick.."

Yeondoo walked with a small stride and

hugged my leg.

My legs have been shaking as if I was

sobbing again. I could hear a heezing sound.

I couldn't see her expression, but I could

see what Yeondoo would look like.

I still have a lot of questions. However,

drawing more answers from here only

stimulates trauma.

I just stroked the child's head and said.

"Don't be scared, Yeondoo. From now on,

there will be no scary or painful things."

It's strange.

Maybe it's irresponsible.

De.

No, I had no choice but to talk like this

because it would be highly likely.

I think I've developed a sense of

responsibility that doesn't fit my topic.

Shivering and hugging my legs tightly, this

child who doesn't even know my face yet.

Yeondoo, can I ask you one last question?,,

"Hahaha. Yeah."

"You don't hate me, do you?"

"It's not true..."

'»o O"

-|

No way.

You're going to draw a line here again?

Yeon-du looked up at me with an anxious

expression and continued.

"Do you know the truth? | like you.

"Ha ha."

If H

"Hahahal! Thank you, Yeondoo!"

Iburst into a faint smile on the street.

I felt like l knew something.

The child's behavior and one answer.

Parents' hearts going up and down.

..is it too much to do this already?

As soon as I entered the house, I saw a

desolate family environment

It's my house and I see it all the time, but it's

like pigs.

Few clothes are thrown around, and the pot

that I didn't clean up after cooking ramen

yesterday is still on the table.

"Ha ha, sorry. Yeondoo, if I knew you'd

come, I would have cleaned it up."

I scrambled to start organizing.

The scattered clothes were roughly hung

and the pot was quickly put in the sink.

The house was so small that it looked pretty

clean in a short time.

Anyway, why does the house feel so small

today? Oh, it's because Yeondoo is here!

There's only a little girl standing, and the

size of the house seems to have shrunk by a

third.

Well, it's a small studio with a small toilet

and a living room connected to the kitchen.

It's cozy because I'm used to living alone,

but it's ridiculously narrow for two.

"You can sit comfortably, Yeondoo."

"Yes, but..."

"But?

"What's this?"

Yeondoo pointed at something with her

small finger.

l answered right away.

"That's what I want you to pull up."

"Blue..."

I laughed because it was cute to pronounce

it.

What the child pointed to was an

instrument for exercising such as chin-ups.

An exercise equipment that I bought with

ambition to escape from anchovies, but has

been occupied for several years.

It is hard to dispose of and it is

unnecessarily large, which is the main

culprit that ruins my living environment.

Damn it.

Now I'm blaming the pull-up bar.

There it is

That makes me ashamed of myself again.

I'm going to answer Yeondoo quickly.

Yeah, it's called blue papa."

I stopped trying to talk.

The word "oppa" came out unconsciously.

But I'm getting beaten by Yeondoo.

You're 20 years younger than me.

To be honest, a 20-year-old can be a father.

But I can't say this awkwardly forever.

There was a need to name it.

But I don't want you to call me Dad.

First of all, it was awkward for me to be

called that.

No matter how special the situation is,

you're only 25 years old and you're a dad.

It was too early for my standards.

Besides, the most worrisome thing was the

existence of Yeon-du's father and my uncle.

I don't know the details, but it was clear that

he wasn't a good father.

Maybe that's why you're against the word

dad.,

I wanted to talk without hurting as much as

I could.

Before I knew it, I asked Yeon-du, who was

crouching

"What does Yeon-du want to call me?

Huh?

Didn't he understand the question? I couldn't hear an answer.

stretched out my fingers one by one and

continued with dexterity.

*Well, you know what. You can call me

brother or uncle. There's a father."

Oh, no. Dad shouldn't have said that.

You've been thinking about it so far, but

you're so stupid.

also feel that I am still quite immature to

be a parent.

Yeondoo's voice was heard while he was

blaming himself.

"How dare you say that'sir.

"Huh?"

"Do you call me Dad?"

It was a difficult question to understand the

meaning.