I am not who you think I am

I guess it all started on that windy Friday.

I was having a heart ache from being separated from him, being away from him felt like I was gradually falling into a black hole, I could barely even think straight.

My best friend Lara is also gone now am all alone.

…

"Mira, Mira." they called out my name.

"Aren't you coming? We have to go read for our assessment." so they said.

Not knowing how badly this separation was steadily drawing me out of existence, it might seem like I am merely exaggerating, but...

This is how I feel.

***

"Oh, Mira. Great, it's you. I know you are busy but can you make photocopies of these files for me?"

She barely even waited to hear my answer and just proceeded to assume that I would do it, like she always did.

"Thanks, you are such an angel." She said as she dropped a stack of paper on my arm.

I almost dropped to my knees because of the sheer weight of the documents I was to run copies on, I instantly began to wonder how I would even carry the documents after I ran the copies.

The one who so nicely asked for this outrageous favor was no other than the school's home coming queen; Audrey.

Who wouldn't want to be friends with the most popular girl in school, Everyone, that is the truth of the matter.

In contrast to her, there was me who is at the bottom of the food chain in the schools popularity hierarchy.

All I do is run errands for the cool kids, such a pitiful life, I know.

Anyways enough soliloquizing about my sad life, I have papers to print.

I walked home alone after a tedious task of printing and lifting for a few hours.

The front door was open, as usual. I was already thinking of how to evade my step father whilst trying to keep myself occupied with the little things that kept me happy.

After finally taking a step into my home, I saw my step dad laying on the floor gasping for air like he was choking or something I guessed he needed water or something and no one else was home.

I rushed over to attempt to help him, it was hard giving him the water. It seemed as though he was choking much more seriously now.

I had no idea what to do so I dialed 911.

"911, what is your emergency?" the attendant on the other side of the phone said.

From the way it sounded, the person who received the call is a female. But that was not the problem at this moment.

But for some reason, even though I felt as though I should have been panicking, I wasn't.

As I gazed at him lying on the floor almost lifeless as he steadily came closer and closer to drawing his final breath and getting accepted by death, then I reckoned...

I and mum were better off by ourselves, we didn't need him...

I couldn't stop myself from having such thoughts, no matter how much I tried to deter myself from thinking like that, I couldn't help it.

"Hello. 911. Excuse me Miss or, uhm, Sir." The Attendant said as I was thinking long and hard on what to say to avoid further questions.

"Sorry Ma'am. I thought I had dialed the chicken place. You know how much we all love our fried chicken." I lied from between my clenched teeth as my step father wheezed for breath below me.

I hoped it was a good enough lie. I needed the attendant to believe me, I needed her to believe my lie.

"If everything is ok then I'll leave you to make your order, but I am going to send an officer to check up on you, if that is ok?" the female emergency phoneline attendant said.

"Sure. why not I'll be expecting the officer." I said with a soft and wry smile, although I knew she couldn't see my face ...

"You go ahead and enjoy a lovely rest of your day. Goodbye." the attendant said.

"And you too officer." I said as I ended the phone call and sat back on a chair in the kitchen.

"Why send an officer?" I thought to myself.

I never thought the emergency service could make such decisions, weren't there enough criminals to arrest or roads to ward.

I think that at about this time he had finally given up the ghost. He was dead now.

He wasn't moving anymore neither was he struggling for breath.

I went to the fridge to get a bottled water, after I was done drinking, which felt like I was washing down the guilt which felt like it was pressing down on my throat, I threw the bottle into the trash can and went upstairs to my room to change my clothes, then I stepped out of the house.

I didn't want to be left alone with my dead step father. Dead or not, he always reeked like a rotting corpse.

I decided I would come back after my mum returned home.

"Mira, I'm home. Is your dad back?" My mum said as she walked into the house.

She walked towards the kitchen to get some water. It was a bit dark so she turned on the lights in the kitchen and she stumbles over my step father's body on the floor.

she was startled and terrified to be before such a sight, she tried waking him up but he was already dead.

My mum was a Nurse so she tried to revive him by carrying out some medical protocols for someone who fell unconscious, but there was no way she could bring back the dead.

They were just all useless attempts.

She dialed 911 while she was at it.

I just got back home only to find twenty or more people in my living room.

"Ugh." I thought to myself in disgust.

They were crying, my mum must have told my step dad's siblings and parents. Great, now we have all these nice people in our house.

Excuse me now, I have to go pretend I care about all that has happened and also find my mum.