AlienWarlord
I love your stories. Even if you haven't finished them yet. Who cares. So long as you write what you want and have fun doing it who cares. Also ignore the haters. This is a site for us to write and enjoy ourselves. So continue the good work, and of course nice job choosing Spider-man. Always a favorite
The writing quality is definitely great. Few mistakes are noticed and easy to understand. There are updates almost every day. The story development follows the movies sometimes to closely… in other-words, it’s just the movie storyline for the MCU. This isn’t bad but it’s not the authors story. The part that is the authors is the Spider-Man in the story. It feels decent at the start but as the story goes on it feels more rushed and starts leaving more holes. The character design sticks closely to original characters at times but others it’s missing that essence. An an example is Tony Stark, the author tries to maintain his playful curiosity and lack of thinking of consequences. It comes off as more like a person who was slow to develop rather than an irresponsible adult. The development around Spider-Man is a little odd but fits a business approach I guess. The world background is good and you see descriptions and events around the realms, BUT it’s not the authors world at this point, it’s the movies world background. Maybe try to incorporate more of the authors own places… they don’t all have to be movie scripted. Overall a decent story but is missing excitement and the wow factor.
Alright here is my review of this story. I think you should add more originalty to your character. Your charcter gives gary stu vibes to me like everything is going his way. Now don’t get me wrong we all like our mc succeeding after all self insert is a wish fullfillment fantasy but you have to make your charcter work for it. You could have used peter parker’s intellect to give himself powers through science or magic it could have also served as charcter development and world building for the charcter. Instead of the plot device which was genie. It also lacks originality as I previously mentioned. Author is just copy pasting his mc in canon events. He could have used comics as a reference and created challenges for the mc which would have furthered his character development and could have deepened his bonds with other characters in the story. Now my final complaint from this story would be is that mc is too op for his current scenario. I mean we all like op mc that is not the problem the problem is peter is facing street level villians like lizard or octavius while he himself is a planet destroying entity. He is atleast planet level on power scale while he would probably grow more stronger. There are no stakes involved here I could easily predict that mc would curbstomp the villians easily. This is not meant to discourage the author in any way just pointing out thefacts hope author would improve. cheers.
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everything turns out to be too easy for me, this somehow badly affects the storyline of fanfic and if someone wants to justify this by saying that this is just a "fanfic" then I feel sorry for you. and the biggest disappointment is that instead of a fanfiction about spider-man, we got a far-fetched story of a psychopath who kills everyone at every turn and the main thing is that everyone in his environment is happy with it. in the end what? contrived mary sue story that corrupted what spiderman is i give you a 3.8 because despite my displeasure this story is quite good to pass the evening.
I finally gave this a real thorough reading, and ngl it's been fun. So basically an amalgamation of Xmen and MCU, a more vanilla rehash version since MC made sure that no character he liked in the "movies", dies. That really took a huge chunk in story development. The mystic arts is also a bad addition, everything is just lazy and convenient because of that. MC just pops everywhere, acts surprised that something bad is happening then fix all the problems. P.S. I have no idea why, but what's up with Marvel FF MC's making an AI as a child? That's the stupidest part of this fic for me.