Unfinished Winter Talk

Mom raised one of her eyebrows and looked at Dad confused. He asked if she was fine, but Mom didn't show any signs of sickness like me. She placed me between her and Dad. They had their backs touching the back wall of the bed, and their legs were hidden under the blanket. I stayed in the gap between them. Initially, I was playing with the blanket itself. As a result, I couldn't see their faces, but only listened.

"I am feeling well. Are you suspect that there is something wrong with my milk?"

"Yes, but I think we haven't talked about what happened last winter…"

"Is Henry not doing well because of the last winter? I don't understand you…"

"Look, Clarice. Our pregnancy had too many complications, and I am not fully aware of how you have been... Are you mad at me?"

"Is this because of the arrow? I told you it was an accident…"

"It's not what I meant… Our family almost found its fate… Alice and Jonathan were close to starving. We went to famine for days with nothing to eat but moldy bread and water with casually winter wild vegetables".

Dad took his hand off her cheek to place his arm between Mom and me. I turned to look at his face and he looked down as if he was ashamed. I started playing with his hand. Dad kept his eyes on me. He didn't look at Mom while talking or listening to her.

"You did your best to keep us safe, Richard…"

"But, I failed you, and our family, Clarice. Jonathan cried every day in hunger. Alice didn't complain, but she was suffering too. And you, you didn't have even food to stand in those crucial months of your pregnancy. You were worse than the kids or me. I could see your bones"

"It was out of our hands, Richard… People were evil. You suffered bigotry! It's never your fault. We had a good harvest, but we had to sell the majority of it, or we wouldn't be able to stay in our winter home, and we didn't expect the Duchy would raise the food costs in the middle of the winter… You reached out to Mrs. Hubson and Ophelia for our sake, and there is no shame in it…".

"There were so many things I could have done… We could have stayed here and reinforced the house, saving the harvest for us and not selling them to those fat merchants. Or even more, I could have reached out m…". Before Dad could have finished saying anything, Mom interrupted, holding his forearm in front of me.

"Richard! We decided what was best for us at that time. We talked and we agreed to do that. Everyone knows it's dangerous to stay in the summer houses over the winter! It could have been worse, and you know that"

"Still, Clarice. You almost died because of me…"

"You are my husband and the father of my children. The bigotry is not your fault! You did all you could do to protect us. You drained yourself to the bone to replenish us with Mana, especially me, so I would not die". Mom put her face on Dad's arm, touching her forehead on his shoulder. Her face was turned to the wall. "I am always the one taking everything from you. I am the one to blame"

"Don't say that…"

"My entire family passed away, and I felt the world owed me for being raised alone. I wanted to move back here to where my life was good. In exchange, you suffer bigotry for just being who you are. Our kids suffer too, Richard…"

"It was also part of my plans to come here. We talked about it before moving"

"You gave up on your previous life to be with me, Richard. You had a perfect life and gave up for me. Yet, you are still stuck here because of me"

"I would do that again without thinking… You gave me purpose, Clarice"

"At what cost? I didn't want to talk about it because I felt ashamed to say anything to you, Richard. I remember your skin turned black because of the uncountable times you tried to find us food or work in the blizzards. I could do nothing…"

"You were doing something more important, protecting Henry. No one could do that, Clarice!"

"I'd never felt so useless… I saw our kids in such poor nutrition and I could do nothing. I was watching them dying and did nothing. You tried everything you could, I sat back and watched them dying"

"Clarice, you are still a warrior! Don't say that! You'd fight an entire army if you could. Earlier, you hit me in the thigh to protect our children. You took my axe away so fast that I didn't notice. If I were an enemy, I'd not be in real trouble for sure". Dad gave a smile and fondled Mom's hair. "You took a man down using a bow to hunt deer-rabbits". They stayed quiet. Dad had a smiling face. I couldn't see Mom's, but I know she was smiling too.

After a while, Dad was in deep thought, looking at where the plant used to be. He changed his facial expression to a serious one and turned to Mom.

"Going back to the beginning to answer your question. I don't think Henry is really sick because the blessings protect us against most physical illnesses… It could be something else… Are you still using your Mana to produce milk?" Mom seated with her back straightened and answered Dad.

"I still don't produce enough milk naturally… I'm forcing my body to make milk using my Mana. You also said it's good for the children to have Mana enriched food"

"Good memory. I do that every day during our dinner. I pour some Mana to help with their growth."

"You had to inject Mana directly on my body because we did not have food. It's also a disgusting feeling… But how is it connected to Henry?"

"I have many hypotheses, but one I wanted to check first is if you are still pouring Mana in your milk"

"Yes, I am. I don't use my Mana for anything else"

"Maybe be he is used to ingesting a lot of Mana, and when we gave him the goat milk, his Mana reserves went too down. The Wolfsbane flowers extract Mana from the surroundings to grow their roots, not a lot but still, something that could lower his reserves below a threshold"

"Since it was Alice and Jonathan who planted them, they couldn't know they would need Mana to make the plants grow roots. I remember you did that when we planted them in the woods"

"Exactly… I know feyplants can be weird, but only one Wolfsbane doesn't take too much Mana to be dangerous, even for a baby"

"How does it connect to the fact of his drinking my Mana enriched milk?"

"It's just a supposition, but his body may not be used to absorb Mana by itself. I poured a considerable amount of Mana on you when he was still in your belly. He still got used to an adult amount of Mana. With your milk full of it, his body doesn't need to process much from the outside. Goat milk is fine, but doesn't have a large amount of Mana like yours"

"Too many words, Richard! Basically, his body is just being lazy"

"I wouldn't say that. He just needs more time to adjust to being in a place with low Mana like a little fish being out of the water", Dad defended me for my supposed laziness.

"What is the worst-case scenario for your hypothesis?"

"I would need to check his Mana. I can pour some of mine into his body, but I'd need the tools to give me answers. It's not simple as measuring blood pressure"

"What do you suggest for now?"

"You keep feeding him as you normally do. Once he starts eating solid food, we can fix that"

"Richard, sometimes I think you should become the villager doctor… you know too much for being a simple lumberjack"

"Being a lumberjack is more useful for them than you think. I wish they could see that", Dad changed his voice to imitate someone else. He picked me up in his arms and faked a dance while saying. I giggled, and he continued, "Besides, it'd be too cliché to be a doctor"

Mom and Dad laughed. It sounded like an inner joke between them. I didn't have any clue what they were talking about. Soon they stopped laughing, Mom remembered to tell Dad what she heard from Ophelia. Dad looked amused.

"Finally! The Duke will put his butt to work! He raised the food prices for nothing!". He hugged and kissed me in happiness.

"The lumberjack will be busy from now on. However, the King will send someone to deal with the feybeast"

"Only one person fighting a werewolf? I don't think the King knows what is going on here…"

"Once the person comes, he or she may request reinforcements. Isn't it good, Richard?"

"I don't know… But, it sounds promising. I hope they send someone before anything bad happens"

"I wonder who they will send… Also, are we going earlier to Dearborn this year?"

"We should keep the options open, but it depends on how much time Elbert will give us. I wanted to harvest our crops before going…"

Mom and Dad kept chatting about their day. I was getting sleepy with their conversation. The last thing I remember was Mom telling Dad she was going to take me with her and Alice, and Dad would take Jonathan with him to the woodshop.