Sugar Mommy?

Last time on Arjon Sinclair:

Epic sigma male gets reincarnated into Hyrule, meets old dude and dog, goes to city and decides to infiltrate some rich chick's mansion because it would be cool!

Yeah I'm not sure what my plan was for that last part, but here I am. Before getting out of here, I push some mana into my eyes and scan the room, looking for cool stuff.

I spot some scratchmarks near the large portrait above the Duchess's bed, and a greedy smile dances across my lips.

The occasional floorboard creaks as I stalk across the duchess's luxurious room, each time I stand still and listen the approach of any guards that could have heard me.

Eventually, I come to the massive bed, which I cream around, going as far away from the duchess as possible

I reach for the side of the large portrait which I suspect is a safe, and run my hands along the edge its frame until I hear a soft click.

The portrait swings to the side, and I'm greeted with a steel door, protected by a complicated-looking lock. Instead of looking for the key like a loser, I unsheathe Samantha, which I layer in sharp, water mana, and start carving a hole in the thick metal.

It takes a while, especially because I'm perched on the bed frame directly above Amborsa, but eventually I cut through the steel.

After gently removing the circular ring of metal, I examine to continents of the safe, seeing yet another layer of security.

This door is different from the others though, my sword won't pierce through it, and it appears to be made of Sheikah tech.

A hand shaped scanner is on the door of the safe, I guess if Shiekah tech can grant teleportation powers, then it could definitely make a hand security scanner. My eyes flicker to the sleeping duchess, whose hand is definitely the key to this safe.

My greed wins over and I attempt to use my untrained wind element to softly float the duchess over to the scanner, but the moment my mana touches her body, her eyes fly open.

The duchess's eyes aren't any exotic color, just a deep brown, combined with her cute freckles she has the look of a kind, gentle young woman.

Hell, if Beetle didn't tell me about that time she fed a mans balls to a donkey, I might have activated my potent rizzification spell.

The duchess looks at me, still curled up in a fetal position, her hair flutters from the balcony door I left cracked in my entrance. Her eyes aren't focused, and she seems to be in a drowsy state.

Staring at me curiously, Armorsa reaches a single hand out from under her mound of fine furs, becoming me closer with her pointer finger.

Of course, I walk to her bedside, with one shout, I will be surrounded my guards. Not even a royal knights seal could completely save me from the consequences of breaking into a duchess's mansion.

Amorsa, slides out of bed, standing inches away from me, and slowly rolls down my black mask, revealing my face.

She squints at me, then flicks my nose, and whispers to herself, "What a strange dream."

My eyes widen, I've been in a scenario like this before, but I'm honestly more scared of this noblewomen in front of me than that massive black Lynel.

Luckily for my thieving ass, after coming to the conclusion that a sage of wind, who are all Rito, couldn't have broken into her heavily defended mansion, holding a water covered sword, Amorsa grins and sits up, exposing her nearly transparent, short white nightgown. Continuing with the idea that this is her dream, she says, "show me more magic, pretty dream boy!"

I entertain the duchess with more magic, and shoot some water and wind from my fingers, to which Amorsa claps gleefully. She sits cross-legged on her large bed, with a dopy smile on her face. Her long, Hylian ears perk up with every gust of wind or sport of water I shoot out.

As I begin to relax, the duchess lets a comment slip that makes me scared as hell, "If only those shit-filled small dick pompous ass noblemen where like you, maybe I wouldn't have to come up with creative new ways to kill so many people!"

Her face lights up once more as an idea pops into her head, "Oh, I know! Lets get married!"

She continues, "that way I won't have to deal with those ugly scumbags anymore!"

I stutter out a reply, "um… I don't know if that would be a good idea…"

"Shut up pretty boy. I will just go flying or something in this dream if we can't have fun."

"Now propose!"

I get down on one knee, my eyes flashing for possible escape routes for when the Duchess realizes this isn't a dream, and hold a bit of wire that I bend into a ring up to Amorsa on one knee.

"I do I do!" She claps and in a fit of giggles, pulls me up and hugs me.

Putting on a deep voice she says to me seriously, "Do you, pretty boy, take this fine maiden as your lawful, wedded wife?"

"I ahh… I do?"

"And so do I! Now we are married!"

My mind spins, am I actually the sage of rizz?

"Here, lets make it official," The delirious noblewomen says, pulling me over to a large desk filled with important look documents.

She grabs a piece of paper, scribbles down a few things then holds it out to me, "Sign this!"

I do, my handwriting messy due to my trembling in nervousness, but the duchess seems happy, and carelessly throws the paper down a mail chute.

"By tomorrow, that will have been mailed to the royal family and it be official!"

The next thing Armorsa does is something that would only happen to a stepbro on the Hub, she pushes me onto the bed, and climbs in after, pulling a mound of furs over us. Armorsa wraps her arms and legs around my torso, and her long red hair tickles my ear as she settles in, closing her eyes to sleep.

With her head buried into the space under my chin, she sighs, "What a fun dream."

While I would love to enjoy the thicc milky thighs and noice petite breasts pressed up against my body, I need to find a way out of this weird ass situation, so I wait till Amorsa is fast asleep, before dashing for the window.

On my way out, I pass her desk again, and spot the deed to the old Hylian embassy peaking out from under a mountain of papers.

I snatch the deed before retracting my steps back up to the Zippy 6000 and escape, propelling myself back across the zipline with a combination of wind and water mana.

When I'm safely on the roof of the clocktower, I think back on this fever dream of a night.

I broke into a mansion, got married, stole the deed, cuddled a bit and ran away. Amorsa now knows about my powers and my face.

In the morning, she will realize that what just happened wasn't a dream, and will eventually realize it was me who broke into her mansion.

Luckily I am a Royal knight, so I might be able to work something out, but if that marriage certificate was real I'm definitely in more of a mess than I already am.

Anyway, stuff in the future is lame, right now, I got my embassy and the Sinclair Trading Company will soon be up and running!