45 Blasphemous Behemoth Bats Batter my Babe. boom.
After a full day of hiking, Riju and I spot a small cave entrance on the side of a large, rocky dune.
We climb up the dune, scampering up a slope of loose stone and sand, before making it to the cave.
Passing through a short tunnel, we enter a large cavern. Trails of sand fall into little piles around the stalagmite-covered floor, and rodents scurry away at our approach.
Other than a few rats, the cave seems like a good place to camp. I lift Riju off of Floofy's back, to which the huge dog sighs in relief. It seems he's not quite ready to be a mount just yet, but when he's big enough, it will be awesome to ride him into battle.
After we settle in, I head back out into the desert, looking for dinner. In the evening light, I spot a group of plump desert rabbits, and quickly send three ice bullets into their heads.
By the time I return to the cave, the sun has dipped below the horizen, and Riju has a small fire going. The flikering light warms the cave walls, the dark cave has become a cozy haven from the cold desert.
We sit by the fire, skinning the three rabbits in silence.
Ripping the blue and green intestines out of one of the animals, Riju asks me, "Hey, so now that I'm stuck with you, what are our plans for the future?"
"Good question. I'm honestly kinda sick of the desert, so I want to get back to Kara Kara, finish building the foundation for my business, deal with Isha, and then see the rest of Hyrule."
Riju smiles, roasting a rabbit eyeball with a bit of lightning before popping it in her mouth, "I have always wanted to see snow," she says, "And Urbosa has told me so many stories about the capital city!"
The royal city and capital are not yet destroyed by the return of Gannon, so I will be able to see them, which is pretty cool because it's a location that wasn't really in the game.
I toss a whole rabbit to Floofy, which he gulps down in a few bites, and we finish the other two.
After the sun has set and Riju and I are both ready for sleep, I throw some logs in the fire, just enough to keep the pitch-black cave warm and light for the night.
To protect from the desert cold, Riju and I curl up inside Floofy's coat, and my dog wraps himself around us, forming a protected soft space. My body starts to heat up as I feel the Gerudo princess's soft skin on my body, her red hair tickling my nose as I inhale her scent of dust, sand, and cactus fruit.
After five minutes, Riju is fast asleep... and has begun snoring. She's not cute snoring either; she releases some powerful noises, but I'm too sleepy to care. My eyelids slide shut, ready for sleep after a long day of hiking.
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What's that noise... probably nothing.
I could get up, but sleep is so nice.
I'll get up in five minutes.
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A loud bark startles me awake, and I shoot up, my hand grasping the pommel of my sword. Floofy stands up as well, and Rijus' eyes flutter open as she sits up, still half asleep.
I follow Floofy's gaze up and see the ceiling covered in glowing, yellow eyes. Hundreds of pairs of pupils are all fixated on us, all motionless, staring.
The occasional screech coming from the high cavern ceiling pumps adrenaline into my body, making me want to get out of this cave as soon as possible.
I slowly move, picking up my meager positions, and whisper to Riju, "Can you run?"
"Yes, my Triforce stores are replenished," she replies.
"OK, we are going to walk for the exit slowly."
Our movements are slow and careful, with every step as calm as possible to not alert the glowing eyes. After the first ten steps, I relax a little bit as we are smoothly making our way to the moonlit exit.
It doesn't last long, however, as the things catch on, and the screeching noises coming from the ceiling grow louder.
With a flutter of wings, one of the monsters comes down, and I recognize it as a Keese.
The oversized bat has a large glowing eye locks onto me as I look up at it, saliva dripping from its large, fang-filled mouth.
A few more flutter down, then a dozen, and I abandon my plan of moving slowly,
"RUN!" I yell as we bolt for the exit.
I pull out Jackpot, blasting incendiary and explosive shells into the swarm behind us, but I quickly abandon this strategy. There are just too many.
As the swarms wash over us, claws lash out, tearing our clothes, and Keese latches on to us with their teeth. Riju and I slash and hack with our swords, desperately firing off spells to keep the monsters off of us in near-total darkness.
At last, we burst out into the open air, and the swarms blow past us, soaring into the sky in a massive black cloud.
We exhale, and Floofy lets out a little whine as we think we're safe. But the black cloud turns around, heading black to us for a second attack.
My mind spins. None of my spells are strong enough to defeat this massive group of monsters.
Suddenly, I have an idea. I leap onto Floofy's back and prime the guardian cannon I installed on him years ago.
As the swarm approaches, I grip the sides of the cannon, aiming it at the Keese. I can feel Floofy pushing his internal mana into the weapon, but this time, I add mine.
I don't just use normal mana, though. I push my most powerful element into the cannon: lightning.
The cannon glows purple under intense pressure as I aim the large weapon, and when it can't hold anymore, I check my aim one more time, then fire.
A purple beam of energy crashes into the descending swarm, sending out a web of lightning that jumps from Keese to Keese for a few seconds before sending the swarm falling to the ground.
Floofy lets out a triumphant howl as I slide off his back to the ground. Riju rushes to my side,
"What in the underdark hell was that?! Are you ok?"
Through heavy gasps, I grit out an eloquent response,
"Fuck the desert."
